I’m coming out of Whole Foods a little after 7 a.m. to find a miniature Yorkie in an army fatigue hoodie (only on the upper east side), tied up at the curb.
This dog is so small, he’d fit in your wallet.
I’ve written more than once how dogs, especially little ones, are randomly stolen in my neighborhood, never to be seen again.
It mind-goggles me when they’re left to have no say of what may happen to them.
It’s cold, me and the dog are both shivering, and I have an early appointment besides. Yet, Joan of Bark still reports for duty.
I stand there and wait, figuring, his owner has to be en route, but after 5 long, freezing minutes, doesn’t appear.
I go in where the coffee line ends and ask, “Does someone own the Yorkie outside?”
I then, keeping an eye on the dog, make my way around the first floor, no one having any idea who he belongs to.
Now I’m getting mad, thinking, what idiot leaves an animal out there that long in the cold, when anyone, including me, could easily steal him.
Did I mention on top of being cold, I’m extremely tired after working a very long day prior to this? In other words, my fuse is short.
I go back outside.
The animal is now shaking like he’s doing the hula.
I take him and put him in my jacket.
Don’t you know at that moment a guy, the size of Gulliver, comes out and accuses me of stealing his dog,
We go at it.
I tell him with as much self-control as I have, which isn’t much, that it’s irresponsible to leave him out in the cold, and so vulnerable to boot.
He’s screaming at me..”Fuck you lady, I’m callin the cops, you were stealin my dog,” who if could only talk, would happily explain everything.
Here’s where karma makes an appearance.
A policeman, unnoticed till now, gets out of his car across the street.
I’m thinking, oh man, am I gonna get arrested?
Well, Officer Will who, apparently saw the whole thing from beginning to end, tears Gulliver a new one, telling him…
“If you ever leave that little dog alone again, you’ll have to answer to me.”
Gulliver, who starts to argue, is silenced and told to go on his way.
As for me, about to break into song, go back to that coffee line and get a’coupla light and sweets for me, and good old Officer Will, one of New York’s finest.