Mice and Little Men

I’m on the number 6 train that’s turtling down Lex, packed in like a sardine.

Feeling lucky at first, getting a seat, till a woman, the width of a warehouse, decides to plop herself down, pushing me against a man playing Tic-Tac-Toe on his iPhone.

I felt like thinly sliced cheese between two hamburger buns.

“Lady, you’re squashin me.”

“Yeah well, talk to her,” I said, trying not as hard as I could, not to be insulting.

And it wasn’t as if I could get up to stand either, because there was no room, especially when a girl with tits like torpedoes, stood in front of me.

I hear, “Hey, your briefcase is diggin in my leg.”

“And where do ya suggest I put it?”

“I can think of a place.”

How bout I trade you one briefcase for two torpedoes?  No, I didn’t say that, knowing, once we hit Grand Central, the car would empty out, which it did.

Whew.  I can breathe again, everyone, accept Tic-Tac-Toe man, getting off.

Suddenly, and no…I did not make this up, I see what looks like a mouse, careening down the car with a young boy chasing it.

“What did I tell ya?” a woman says, right behind him. “You should have brought the space center to Show-And-Tell, not Mighty.”

Could I be dreaming?  Was it that falafel I knew I shouldn’t have had at midnight?

Mighty, turns out, was a hamster who had gotten out of his cage now charging to freedom.  The poor kid was so upset, because his pet seemed headed for Yonkers.

A warm-hearted conductor who could have easily fined mom and son for having a rodent on the train, caught him in flight.

“Ma son, he too have hamstas, so I unda-stand,” he said, addressing the car as if we were jurors.

When we all got off at Union Square, I could still hear, “What did I tell ya?” feeling, just a little bit thinner.     

SB

 

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in animals, Family, humanity, humor, kids, New York City, parents, words and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to Mice and Little Men

  1. Riding on a crowded subway is something I don’t miss. I hope you’ve expanded again after being squished.

    Like

  2. Gail Kaufman says:

    Always hated the #6.

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    • Since they’ve opened the Second Avenue subway, it’s supposed to be less crowded. Before three trains would go by so stuffed you couldn’t get on. Now it’s two. And they keep building more high rises. Congestion City will be Manhattan’s new name. Sigh

      Liked by 1 person

      • Gail Kaufman says:

        They do the same in CT suburbs. They opened up the main drag from two lanes to four. Then more stores and fast-foods moved in, which increased traffic enough to negate any benefits from the additional lanes…like we really needed more Burger Kings and Dunkin Donuts.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Haven’t been to my old stomping grounds in a good long while. All I recall are the little rest stops along the way. I’m thinking of the Merritt Parkway. Also the Old Post Road in Fairfield where there was one great bake shop.

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  3. skinnyuz2b says:

    I’ve had a few mice as pets, but long ago. Love the name ‘Mighty’. Most kids today aren’t familiar with Might Mouse. Remember the cats he knocked out and sent floating up to heaven with Xs in their eyes?
    As usual, your blog title is great!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. micklively says:

    Just think how much room there’d be if we were all hamster sized. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  5. My sympathies to the hamster who must have been terrified! As a slim person, I often get large people next to me. They seem to think that I will share my space. Nada! I’m not that nice. Out go my pointy elbows to keep the proper space.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. “tits like torpedoes”. You certainly gave them the negative they deserved! lol

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Shall I call you Cheddar? On the upside at least it wasn’t August, but dear lord the whole hampster seen is incredible. What are the chances?

    Liked by 1 person

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