I’m in the elevator with a woman in a fur coat I think lives on 12. She’s in her 80s, still snappily dressed, but occasionally stalls like a Chevy forgetting where she’s parked.
I was told by her daughter, if I encounter this, to just give her a little tap. I remember thinking, she’s kinda like a toy who’s had a short.
Okay, so the elevator doors open, but she doesn’t budge.
Tap Tap Tap
“Suddenly she, like the buffalo she resembles, flips around and says, “Did you just push me?”
OOPS
Well, I had the wrong lady.
“I’m sorry,” I said, “I didn’t mean to,” realizing, I need to wear my glasses.
“You should develop a little patience young lady, in the New Year.”
“Yes ma’am,” I said, wanting to kiss her, after calling me a young lady.
To quote the bible, that in my opinion could use a rewrite…
Shove, I mean, Love, thy Neighbor as Yourself.
Roger that.
SB
🙂 You could have said “Oh, I thought you were the other old lady!”
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There then might have been a stampede. You know how buffalo get.
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Um…no, not really but I know you got to get out of the way!
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🙂
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I usually start coughing and people jump out of my way. Good story! At least she didn’t call the cops on you.
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I’ll try that next time.
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It’s amazing how many lives have been saved by the words “young lady” hahaha!!
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Yes, stops you in your tracks like water’s been thrown at you. 🙂
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I love the way you describe people, it’s always so vivid. Great Audrey Hepburn banner too. 🙂
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That may come down. Had it in the archives. But thanks.
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I like the idea of rewriting the bible. The scope and opportunities for levity are almost endless. 😉
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Abd think of all those slaughtered lambs we’d save.
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Daughters gang-raped, wives turned to stone, folk massacred for not liking trumpet music, people visited by plagues, all first born slain, floods that wipe out entire populations: there is much scope for improvement.
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Yes…I agree.
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Oh Susannah, this is such a funny story. It can be so embarrassing when we misidentify someone.
I once passed a parked car, did a double take, walked up to the open passenger window and gushed, “My goodness, hello, I didn’t expect to see you here. How are you doing?” Notice I didn’t use a name? I couldn’t think it. I just recognized the biggest head you ever saw in your life. After an awkward and brief conversation I realized that there are two giant heads in the area.
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That’s too funny. It’s nice knowing I’m not alone in my mistaken identity. 🙂
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Sometimes your big, kind heart gets you in trouble. I wish there were more of us like that. We’d be doing good works and blogging about the failed ones.
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I’m Lucyesque a good part of the time. Not always a good thing…sigh
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Easy to do and you did “tap” not “shove” her…You might need patience; she needs to understand what you could have done if shoving were in your nature.
Scott
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Just another New York moment v
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I forget there are those and they are so different from here…
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Sounds like you seem to think all old ladies look-alike. It must be the grey hair. She did have grey hair … right??? Glam it never goes out of style … just the mind.
Funny … Very Funny … thanks for my Sunday morning laugh.
Isadora 😎
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I’m glad to make you laugh.
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