Shove Thy Neighbor

I’m in the elevator with a woman in a fur coat I think lives on 12.  She’s in her 80s, still snappily dressed, but occasionally stalls like a Chevy forgetting where she’s parked.

I was told by her daughter, if I encounter this, to just give her a little tap.  I remember thinking, she’s kinda like a toy who’s had a short.

Okay, so the elevator doors open, but she doesn’t budge.

Tap Tap Tap

“Suddenly she, like the buffalo she resembles, flips around and says, “Did you just push me?”

OOPS

Well, I had the wrong lady.

“I’m sorry,” I said, “I didn’t mean to,” realizing, I need to wear my glasses.

“You should develop a little patience young lady, in the New Year.”

“Yes ma’am,” I said, wanting to kiss her, after calling me a young lady.

To quote the bible, that in my opinion could use a rewrite…

Shove, I mean, Love, thy Neighbor as Yourself.

Roger that.

SB

 

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in comedy, Fashion, friendship, grace, Gratitude, humanity, humor, New York City, women and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to Shove Thy Neighbor

  1. 🙂 You could have said “Oh, I thought you were the other old lady!”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Kevin says:

    I usually start coughing and people jump out of my way. Good story! At least she didn’t call the cops on you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s amazing how many lives have been saved by the words “young lady” hahaha!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love the way you describe people, it’s always so vivid. Great Audrey Hepburn banner too. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. micklively says:

    I like the idea of rewriting the bible. The scope and opportunities for levity are almost endless. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  6. skinnyuz2b says:

    Oh Susannah, this is such a funny story. It can be so embarrassing when we misidentify someone.
    I once passed a parked car, did a double take, walked up to the open passenger window and gushed, “My goodness, hello, I didn’t expect to see you here. How are you doing?” Notice I didn’t use a name? I couldn’t think it. I just recognized the biggest head you ever saw in your life. After an awkward and brief conversation I realized that there are two giant heads in the area.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Sometimes your big, kind heart gets you in trouble. I wish there were more of us like that. We’d be doing good works and blogging about the failed ones.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Easy to do and you did “tap” not “shove” her…You might need patience; she needs to understand what you could have done if shoving were in your nature.
    Scott

    Like

  9. Sounds like you seem to think all old ladies look-alike. It must be the grey hair. She did have grey hair … right??? Glam it never goes out of style … just the mind.
    Funny … Very Funny … thanks for my Sunday morning laugh.
    Isadora 😎

    Liked by 1 person

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