I’m in the elevator with a woman in a fur coat I think lives on 12. She’s in her 80s, still snappily dressed, but occasionally stalls like a Chevy forgetting where she’s parked.
I was told by her daughter, if I encounter this, to just give her a little tap. I remember thinking, she’s kinda like a toy who’s had a short.
Okay, so the elevator doors open, but she doesn’t budge.
Tap Tap Tap
“Suddenly she, like the buffalo she resembles, flips around and says, “Did you just push me?”
Well, I had the wrong lady.
“I’m sorry,” I said, “I didn’t mean to,” realizing, I need to wear my glasses.
“You should develop a little patience young lady, in the New Year.”
“Yes ma’am,” I said, wanting to kiss her, after calling me a young lady.
To quote the bible, that in my opinion could use a rewrite…
Shove, I mean, Love, thy Neighbor as Yourself.