One Weepy Thingirl

Everything is making me cry.

I’m like a raw nerve in jeans and a turtleneck.

I’d like to blame it on the snow, but that would be too simple.

Saw a three legged-labrador hopping down Third in a red ski sweater, swaying in the wind.

I sobbed.

After watching two baby squirrels playing in the snow, wondering what they were saying to each other in squirrelese…I sobbed.

Read how, when Benjamin Franklin died in 1788, because he championed the first American synagogue, in Philadelphia, allowing Jews to openly worship without fear for the first time, the whole congregation walked behind his casket in gratitude.  I sobbed again.

Thumbing through a book on JFK, I found the pictures of John Jr. hiding under his father’s desk in the Oval Office.

Then I thought back to the July, John’s plane went down, a day before my birthday, and sobbed some more.

I came upon a Peggy Noonan essay called, Courage Under Fire, when she compares September 11th to the charge of the Light Brigade, borrowing from Tennyson’s famous poem.  Into the tower of death strode the three hundred…the firemen who went up the stairs and never came down…I sobbed louder.

But what had me on my knees, was a picture of Carmela the Bassett Hound, taken in Brooklyn, the last time I saw her.

Those legendary ears, that heard for the both of us.

That’s when I knew whatever held my heart hostage, was not letting go.

I crawled into bed, snow piling on my window sill, and sobbed, just a little bit more. 

SB

 

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
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20 Responses to One Weepy Thingirl

  1. Sounds like a pre-period day from way back. Extreme weather gets me nuts and emotional. I worry about critters, just check my birdseed bill. No one dies on my watch. Hoping that you found a happy book to pick you up or perhaps a bit of chocolate. We had a light snow. More annoying than anything but enough to cancel out two appointments that are now rescheduled into a busy week.

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  2. E says:

    I say let the tears come and go. It’s good to feel our feelings. I think they’re most in balance when we accept them. Weep away, sleep and maybe a smile will show up.

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  3. Does your middle name, by any chance, begin with O????? Your initials would be SOB.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. micklively says:

    There is much sadness in the world but much happiness too. It is so easy to be overwhelmed by the empty half of the glass (I’ve been there) but there’s little point. We had a shit Christmas but we’re bouncing back. Come and bounce with us! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, I think this never ending deep freeze is getting us all down. This is the first year in ages that we aren’t going somewhere warm this month, of course. I keep remembering an action/suspense film that Paul and the boys talked me into watching, The Day After Tomorrow. It was about the Polar Vortex reeking havoc on us. Seems kind of real right now.
    In the words of Annie, “The sun will come out tomorrow.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • We love Annie and her continued optimism. I’m certain you’re right. Just came in from Starbucks on my corner. Want so much to run, but know it’s just too slippery and cold. I try not to let weather get in my way, but as you say, this is quite unusual. Always happy to hear from you Skinny. Stay warm with Pookie. 🙂

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  6. This makes me sad. I hope the sunshine will brighten your day. I know my Christmas Cactus “CC” is enjoying her spot on the windowsill today. ❤

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  7. I love that picture of you and Carmela. I think there are good aspects to feeling things so deeply, although may your 2018 tears of joy far outweigh those of sadness.
    David

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  8. Hi Susannah, I see myself in your words often. Some days is hard to keep the tears from falling. I hope that you are back to smiling soon and your heart is back to singing a song. I am sending you warm hugs and blessings!
    “Those who do not weep, do not see”, Victor Hugo

    Liked by 1 person

  9. A good cry is excellent for you health, once in a while. I may be a guy, but I recommend this as most men need to sob a bit and don’t. When I feel the need, there are several AGT shows (yes, believe it or not) where I find tears streaming down my face. I let them and then move on.

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  10. When I cry, which is rare … I’ve become cold and insensitive to tears … I just get depressed it’s not as messy … you know all those tissues and blurry eyes gawking back at you … anyway, I can feel for you. It’s the after-Christmas blues, the freezing’ temps (in Florida, too – Tallahassee had snow a few days ago), the suffocation of the indoors, the lack of people contact because they over-dosed you during the holidays, people going back to being mean because the holidays are over, OH…!!!!
    I could go one. But, why should I make you cry some more. That would be a terrible thing to do.
    Think about crying as a way to clean your eyeballs and nasal passages.
    Sending a healing hug that’s saying … ‘It’s all gonna be all right’
    Isadora 😎

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    • Thanks. All things pass and yes, I may have post Xmas blues. The city looks like the aftermath of a wild party. Dead trees everywhere abandoned due to the snow. Trees along Park Avenue with burnt out bulbs. I’m waiting for Santa to go by on a stretcher. 😚

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