Don’t Force a Door To Stay Open

Someone said this to me after speaking of a longtime friendship ending, and how ephemeral they’ve become, in general.  Thought back to my best pals in childhood, how they stuck around for better or worse, like a marriage…in sickness and in health.

Shari and Pat.

We were like the 3 Musketeers…then we all went to different schools and that was that.  But at least life gave a good reason.

Nowadays, one’s just left for dead at the side of the road, for sport.

I did try to keep that door open, lastly sending a Christmas card hoping for a response, but none came.

They’re shut down, unrevealing, but I always celebrated the good that was there, with acceptance, never asking too much, always expecting the best.  It’s that Pollyanna in me, even when red flags are billowing like sails, I choose to ignore them, but then shocked when kicked in the teeth.

We were friends, through thick and thin, till Thin lost her hearing.  I can only see that as the reason for mutiny on the bounty, since I was a very good friend.  I can’t deny, being around me takes an effort, but alas, I truly didn’t expect this from this longtime friend.

How it hurts, and so it goes, however…

I have finally, though tearfully, shut the door, and as my other friend said, now there’s space for another to open.

The truth shall set you free, but alas, first, it will kick your ass.


About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
This entry was posted in Connecticut, Faith, friendship, grace, humanity, Women and men and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Don’t Force a Door To Stay Open

  1. It’s so hard to believe that someone would dessert you because you have difficulty hearing. It’s not contagious nor does it affect your quick wit. In other words you are the same. However, given that the other person has “left the building” the advice holds. You can’t keep a door open no matter how many doorstops you use. Peace my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m grieved that someone would deliberately hurt you.

    As to childhood friends, it helps to come from a small town. My mother frequently saw my friends’ mothers, and that’s how we knew what was going on. Our moms are all dead now, but we’ve been reunited through email.

    I’m losing my hearing, too. I will take your story as a word of warning of what could happen because of it. How I hope someone will do something extraordinary for you soon!


    • I always say to others when they act impatiently, I hope it never happens to you. It changed me in so many ways. My heart got a whole lot bigger for one. Grace is in the house when you lose something you’ve always taken for granted. Thanks for writing.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. micklively says:

    People change. You are not the same lump of matter that you were ten years ago. Neither are your school mates or Pollyanna. Expecting constancy is optimistic, at best, in this throw-away world. Opt for an upgrade.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Like a phone? Ok. I’ll go from the 7 to a 9. When did it become such a throw a way world? I missed the road signs. That can explain my shock and surprise.

      Liked by 1 person

      • micklively says:

        When you were at school, having a ‘phone in your pocket would have been bizarre; the stuff of science fiction and Captain Slogg. Think of all the people who were not your friends then, but are now (me, for instance). Things change: not always for the better, but not always for the worse either. Just think how dull life would be if nothing ever changed.

        Liked by 1 person

      • You make a good point but the same old, same old, is very comforting.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. skinnyuz2b says:

    “now there’s space for another to open.” I’ll remember that the next time a door shuts on me. I’m still so sad at the swift chop a cousin gave me. It wasn’t a complete surprise since she shut out all but one of her four siblings and moved five hours away. If she ever wants to reconnect I’ll gladly act as though the break never happened. I bet you would do the same with your friend.


    • He’s does this before I’m sorry to say. He doesn’t think much of me Skinny, is what it comes down to. He thinks I’m a bad writer for one. For me that’s truly what you call a swift chop. Like Maya Angelou said…when someone tells you who they are the first time, believe them.


      • skinnyuz2b says:

        Now that’s going too far, Susannah. Does this critic write himself? As Ann Landers says, ask yourself if you’re better off with or without him/her. Sounds to me like we all know that answer. Sometimes you need to bolt that closed door.


      • We used to write together in a way. He edited much of my earlier stuff but, since the blog, I’ve been more or less on my own. He hates the blog. My writing Skinny means a lot to me. It’s the only thing I’ve ever been proud of, so when it’s shunned in any way, it’s big for me. Thanks, as always.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m imagining hearts sitting on the side of the road, suitcases filled to the brim with old memories, while they wait for their next ride. Lord knows mine has done its fair share of showing a sexy leg to grab the attention of a new pulse.
    As much as it hurts to shut that door, nine times out of 10, it’s for the best. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Alva Chinn says:

    Bravo Susannah, once again you have managed to make a gift of your pain, by after shedding tears(the reveal), choosing to find a way to bring laughter at how life always gives us opportunities for growth. Thankfully your sense of humor is a real treasure. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I can’t believe someone would turn their back on you, you are so filled with life and caring. I have missed being online, and missed your words.

    Liked by 1 person

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