Visitation

My grandfather, Bartholomew Palvario, known as Pop, was my biggest role model when it comes to giving.

I’ve written about it.

How when I was so small, watching him rake leaves, shovel snow and bake bread not only for his family, but for the whole neighborhood deliriously happy to just give.

I’ve been struggling a lot with people who can’t accept generosity without lashing out in some way.

I had a particularly disturbing encounter with a fella I know who said my constant thoughtfulness was boring the shit out of him…a direct quote.

It bothered me so much, I got up, excused myself and left the restaurant. I went home, took a tearful bath before shutting off the phone knowing this person would more than likely call to apologize.

After crying myself to sleep, my nightlight suddenly went on in the bathroom. When I opened my eyes my grandfather in his long white apron, the baker that he was, stood at the foot of my bed.

I sat up rubbing my eyes. “Pop, is that you?”

He smiled before evaporating like steam.

It was only then the nightlight that only stays on if you’re in it’s vicinity went out.

Was it real? Did I dream it? Was it the half of Valium I took to calm my nerves? All I know is my upset, like steam, evaporated, telling me all was well in my world.

SB

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in Connecticut, Faith, Family, Home, humanity and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to Visitation

  1. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, just keep on being you. The vast majority appreciate it. I’ve been called a ‘Yuppy Do-Gooder’ by a sister-in-law on Pookie’s side of the family.
    As for accepting gifts, one of my good friends hates to get presents and refuses to open anything in front of anyone. It takes away from the fun of giving birthday or Christmas gifts. Seeing the look on someone’s fade is half the fun of giving. But I know her rules going in.
    Take heart in what you do and ignore the nay-sayers. There’s always someone who wants to rain on your parade.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think for every person who scorns thoughtfulness, there are at least ten who are deeply touched and honored by grace such as yours. Who knows, maybe your Pop just came to cheer you up and remind you not to give up on giving.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You definitely take after Pop, and the world ought to be extremely grateful! You and you frequent acts of kindness add sunshine to my life. I think Pop knows all the wonderful things you do for others, and he came to cheer you on that night.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I have very little problem believing in spirits or anything for that matter, as I see the world as miraculous and full of surprises. But, I also see that we see what we wish (or need) to see.
    Regardless, you are a giver and should never feel badly about your giving or your optimism. I get picked on a lot about be so positive all the time. It is a lot of fun just to smile and say, “Really?”. Bugs the sh** out of them and I am still being positive!
    Scott

    Like

  5. Patricia says:

    “Was it real? Did I dream it? Was it the half of Valium I took to calm my nerves?” You received what you needed when you needed it that’s all that matters. It’s a lovely mystery.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You know the world is in trouble when thoughtfullness starts to bore people. Honestly, most people wouldn’t even recognize it. That is just fucking sad!
    No doubt over here that Pop was in the room making his little Susannah feel better ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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