After a friend read, I can name all the U.S. Presidents, he demanded to know how, so I told him.
Boy, was he sorry.
Washington, the first, is a no-brainer. John Adams the 2nd, Thomas Jefferson, author of The Declaration of Independence, 3rd, referring to them as the Big Three.
If you link lore with even just a few, then you’ll remember who they are and when they served. It’s word association. You want to recall someone’s name…like Susannah, think of the song, Oh Susanna, and you’ll never forget it.
But I’m digressing.
After Jefferson you had two James…Madison, then Monroe, followed by John Adam’s eldest boy, John Quincy.
The first 6 should roll right off your tongue.
Andrew Jackson, who massacred the Indians, is 7, Martin Van Buren, nicknamed the Sly Fox, 8, while William Henry Harrison at 9, was the first to ever die in office, of pneumonia, only serving thirty-two days.
John Tyler, number 10, stepping up as the first Vice President to take office, defying Congress, wanting him to be merely, acting Vice President, till they voted in someone new, said, NOPE…I’M THE PRESIDENT, AND THAT’S THAT, siring the Twenty-Fifth Amendment.
11) James Knox Polk…his daughter, Varina, married Jefferson Davis, President of The Southern Confederacy.
12) Zachery Taylor, Mexican War hero, died in office after eating too many cherries on a very hot day.
13) Millard Filmore, stepping up for Zach…think of The Filmore East. Hey, whatever it takes Kemosabe.
14) Franklin Pierce whose best friend was writer, Nathanial Hawthorne.
15) James Buchanan, with red hair and possibly gay, leaving Lincoln, a helluva mess.
Four presidents were assassinated.
Abraham Lincoln, our 16th, replaced with Andrew Johnson (17). William McKinley (25), succeeded by Teddy (26) who despite the circumstances, couldn’t wait to be president. James Garfield (20), bringing up Chester Arthur (21), who may have looked great in a suit, but was sadly unsuited for office.
Cut to, JFK (35), and Lyndon Johnson (36), in that iconic photo on Air Force One being sworn in next to Jackie in her bloody, pink suit.
Okay, I’m jumping around, but watershed moments, such as these help, like Richard Nixon (37), the only president to ever resign, relieved by Gerald Ford (38) who, against everyone’s better judgment, pardoned him.
Rutherford B. Hayes’s wife (19), was called Lemonade Lucy because she wouldn’t allow liquor in the White House.
Grover Cleveland (22 & 24), the only one to ever serve two non-consecutive terms (and the cheapest), with Benjamin Harrison (23), William Henry’s grandson, in-between.
William Howard Taft (27), the fattest, threw out the first baseball.
FDR (32), the only president elected four times, died with his boots on, or possibly off, in the presence of his mistress while Harry S. Truman (33), climbed onboard to drop the atom bomb.
Jimmy Carter (39), wanting so much to be perceived as a regular guy, carried his own garment bag when traveling.
Here’s an added bonus.
John Garfield, gunned down at Washington’s old train station in front of Robert Lincoln, Abe’s eldest who ironically, after being at his dying Dad’s bedside, was also there when McKinley got it in Buffalo, New York, in a receiving line.
Calvin Coolidge, called Silent Cal since he never said much, at the 30 mark with The Gipper, Ronald Reagan, reigning in at 40.
Now we’re in the home stretch.
Papa Bush (41), Bill Clinton, the blowjob heard around the world (42), George W. Bush the younger (43), our first African American Pres, Barack Obama (44), yielding to, yes, that King of Tweet, Donald J. Trump at 45.
Doesn’t it feel like you just had sex?
Excuse me, while I light up a smoke. 🙂
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