The Tortoise and the Hair

Now I’ve seen everything.

It’s not unusual nowadays to see those asking for money with pets at their side. Dogs, cats…and they get me every time. I see those big eyes  of a Pitt or a kitten curled up, and just empty out my pockets since I think, as low as they’ve sunk they haven’t abandoned their animals who always look cared for and happy. They don’t know they’re on the street and things could be better. They’re fed and loved, all that matters to them.  It moves me more than I can say.

That said.

As I’m tooling down 86th Street with its stream of…can you help mes...I see what looks like a ravishing redhead sitting cross-legged in front of Barnes & Noble. As I get closer, she is a he with hair like Little Richard, high and glossed combed just so.  But what truly stops me in my tracks is his companion perched beside him. A turtle the size of a frisbee, in a sweater no less, with a capital P on the back. I stop. “So, what’s the P for?” I ask, fascinated.

“Pal,” he said, “and I knitted it myself.”

“Wow, it’s pretty nifty,” I say. And it was, had a college football game look to it, like he went to Syracuse University. All he needed were pompoms.

Having no cash to give them, I did offer the bagel fermenting in my purse.

“No, no more bagels,” he said. “I won’t be able to get in my pants, and Pal, who likes the butter, won’t either.”

Pal has pants? I didn’t ask. People do like to give food rather than money figuring they’ll just drink or drug it away.  As for me, I can only give what I have at the moment so he did accept my half tube of L’Occintane Shea Butter.

As I was leaving, a woman who also slowed up to get a look said, “I just hope he don’t trade him in for turtle soup.”

“Did you have to say that?” She shrugged.

Some things are just better left unsaid.


About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
This entry was posted in alcohol, animals, food, friendship, humanity, humor, New York City and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to The Tortoise and the Hair

  1. I doubt he would do that after he knitted a sweater for him. Street people are a different kind of species.


  2. That woman should have stayed in her shell!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. micklively says:

    Why would anyone put a cold-blooded creature in a sweater?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. skinnyuz2b says:

    L’Occintane Shea Butter? You offering it is funny enough, but he took it? This really made me laugh. Maybe Pal will have a soft luxuriant shell now, ha ha!
    Since I’m sure your shea butter wasn’t inexpensive, perhaps you could start carrying cereal bars to dispense. And some doggie biscuits like the banks hand out to people with pets in their vehicles. Gee, Susannah, you’re going to need a rolling suitcase. Thanks for a great story to start my Wednesday morning. I’m subbing for cosmetology today at our local BOCES.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ok, I now need to see a turtle in a sweater, I’ll tap MAC before I come.
    L’Occintane products are one of my absolute favorite treats. I would have grabbed that shea butter in a heartbeat!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I never tire of your stories, you write and I feel like I am walking beside you, the only thing missing are the smart comments running through my head. Thank you for the laugh today, I needed them.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh, I truly think he would be yelling about it weeks before he would do it.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Pingback: Versatile Blogger Award #2 – Myricopia

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