Forgive your enemies, but always remember their names.
John F. Kennedy
I saw my X on the street who startled me to say the least, seeing instantly how his alcoholism has escalated.
His clothes were rumpled, he needed a haircut. I could smell last night’s booze oozing from his pores.
He was all over me, kissing me on both checks, saying how great I looked.
Yeah, I’m still standing alright, despite the way you treated me.
The belittling, the cheating. How you said, my niceness made you sick.
Now I hear he’s with a lady who beats him up regularly, like a favorite hobby.
I was still polite, but detaching quickly since he was moaning about how unhappy he is.
Nope, don’t rescue drunks anymore, sorry, and I have you to thank, you whose abuse drove me into a 12 Step program that taught me how to save myself from the perils of alcohol.
That’s not to say my heart didn’t open, knowing now it’s a disease more than just a pastime in a glass, but I’m glad to say, memory, who never leaves my side, kept her vigilant foot in the door…
forgiving my enemies, but always remembering their names. 
SB
You showed your strength when you met him today. Kudos to you! I love that phrase, “pastime in a glass”. You put words together in a very special way.
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Alcoholism is a cross to bear. I grew up with it. My parents both drank heavily my father dying from it quite young. It affects everyone and everything in its path, like a twister.
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It’s a marvel that you have come out of such a mess to live a victorious life.
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Victorious may be pushing it a bit, but I can happily say I didn’t follow in those wobbly footsteps, and see why drunks were always very attractive to me. It was like home. Sad but true. I learned so much about myself in Al-Anon. It’s for those who grew up in an alcoholic environment. There are many of us. Thanks Ann, as always.
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I didn’t have that struggle. My heart bleeds for you to have so much to overcome.
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You know what they say…what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. Wonder who said that. 🙂
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Whoever said that wasn’t dead when he said it.
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Funny…:)
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Susanna, I’m so glad that the flame with your old flame is a semi-warm ember. You don’t wish him bad, but don’t want to get entangled again.Anyone who says someone’s niceness makes them sick is sick themselves, and that’s before adding in alcoholism.
My two youngest children (adopted at ages 6 and almost 9) had biological parents and grandparents who were alcoholics. The youngest is okay, but I keep an eye on her brother who is now 30.
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It’s definitely a gene that’s passed on. My dad inherited it from his dad…my uncle, his brother also. It missed me except, I do have the…over-do-it gene that I’ve learned to tamp down, if you will.
As far as my ex goes, he’s a sick puppy, what else can I say. sigh
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That’s good advice. Forgiveness doesn’t mean being naive about the realities. You gotta take care of yourself first.
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Hear hear. Resentment is a mighty big weight to carry. Forgiveness sets us free. Doesn’t mean you have to play in their yard anymore however.
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I recently had a similar encounter, and like yours, I’m baffled by the “business as usual” greeting. Kisses and compliments as if NOTHING occurred. I guess the drinking and other vices allow them to forget in their heads, but the mirror tells the truth.
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It’s called selective memory Top, otherwise know as, alcoholic amnesia. So handy.
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Sounds like you were in some battles and won the war. Good for you!
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Last man standing. Women are so resilient by nature. Aren’t we?
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