Best Story of the Week…8/16/2018

  It’s early and rainy, forgoing my run, instead, heading to Starbucks a few blocks away.

Though the door is open, no one is in the front, so I patiently wait trying not to steal any cookies that are all winking at me like women of the night.

Is that a baby I hear?

A little barista with nails that could service the entire cocaine industry, comes running out to say, she’ll be right back.

It’s only 5 a.m. but amazed I’m still the only one here.

Finally she emerges, clutching a cradle with the cutest baby girl wrapped inside cooing like a little dove.

“Is she yours?” I ask, getting all loopy at the gummy grin the wee thing’s giving me.

“Yes, ma baba sitta’ didn’t come, and I had ta open. I’m so upset. I’m scared they’s gonna fira’ me.”

“No they won’t,” I say, suddenly the Norma Rae of protective mothers, before having the wild idea of offering to babysit.

NO NO NO SUSANNAH, YOU’VE NEVER CHANGED A DIAPER IN YOUR LIFE…GET HOLD OF YOURSELF.

But that cooing was playing me like a cheap banjo.

Before I could shoot myself in the sneaker, another woman comes in with more or less the same response.

“What I’m gonna go?” said Mom, really panicking since, now she has a line that her co-worker, who finally shows up, is trying to man himself.

Imagine Lucy at the candy factory after she hears….SPEED IT UP OUT THERE!

The woman alongside me, who I happen to casually know, offers to take Accolade. Maybe it was Adelaide, and I didn’t hear right, though an accolade is a prize after all and Mom is maybe 17. (how old do you have to be to have a key to a Starbucks?)

My copilot then asks, “Doesn’t she have a dad?”

“Yes ma’am, but he’s doin’ ta-m’, but should be out in no ta-m’. He didn’t do nothin,” she says, like a good urban attorney, “but would jus’ not rat on his freends’.”

I like him immediately, as I watch this wonderful woman take the little bundle and cuddle her like a doll.

I get my Tall Viennese Blend in a Grande Cup and leave, deciding, it’s high time I learn how to change a diaper, since you never know when this could happen again.

  It’s New York remember.  🙂

SB

 

 

 

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in comedy, Family, food, humanity, humor, Love, New York City, Starbucks, women and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Best Story of the Week…8/16/2018

  1. I am totally shocked that someone would offer to care for a baby like that. Amazing!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, to even consider babysitting when you’ve never changed a diaper is on the level of super-woman! Your description of the little mama’s fingernails is hilarious, and I was able to immediately picture them.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Like flaming red shovels. My first instinct is always to help, and I have learned, through tremendous trial and error, to pause to run the tape all the way through. I would have LOVED that little baby for a few hours, but would have needed a crash course in baby care. I thought about it later, if I had been the one to take her, what would I have done. There’s the young mom across the hall, she would have gotten two unexpected visitors, to her delight because she LOVES babies too. There’s always a tale to tell Skinny, in the Naked City. Have a great weekend, you and your Pookie-Pie.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m glad it worked out and there was someone to let you off the hook. I know you would have volunteered whether you knew what to do or not. It involves a lot of love and body fluids. That’s all I know. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Eilene Lyon says:

    Loved the fingernails and dialect! You’re so sweet. I would never have offered, being both baby-phobic and also lacking a single diaper-changing experience in my life.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. That poor women (or girl, at 17) sure has her hands full. That was sweet of you to think about helping. If this was a sitcom, like I Love Lucy, great hi-jinks would ensure, I’m sure. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I always found it fascinating how women trust other women without question when it comes to their children, but their man …. back up girl. In reality, it’s probably the men we don’t trust.
    I must say I am in awe and laughing at the thought of you never having the opportunity to change a diaper … haha!

    Liked by 1 person

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