It was 3:30 a.m. as I ventured out to get coffee at Hot and Crusty, the only 24 hour place open. I had an early job but alas, was out of milk, hence…foraging like the caffiene junky that I am.
Naturally, Aunt Clara had misplaced her Discover Card she could have sworn was in her bag. As I rummaged through it, on my knees on my corner, there are two hefty looking men having an argument oblivious to my sudden appearance.
I heard unidentifiable accents…middle eastern maybe, since they had that bite to them, as if the words were chewed before spoken.
As I empty my duffle onto the pavement now really pissed, I hear one say, “Boot’, thad’ ez’ not quite right, you misjoodge’ me.”
The other guy says, “Yes boot’, where were you all neet’?”
“I wooz’ reading, and my phune’ was in the oothur’ oom’.”
Finally, my card turns up in my change purse. After shoving everything back inside my bag, about to pass these two men, they suddenly kiss passionately like two porpoises in love.
I assumed their argument was work related. Who knew they were more than business associates, certainly not by the looks of them, making me think…
Discover should be more than a card, wouldn’t ya say so, Aunt Clara? 
🙂 SB
You had me at Hot and Crusty; sounds like a triple X club, ha ha! And I can’t wait to tell one of my kids and their spouse that they are kissing like porpoises.
I had totally forgotten about Aunt Clara, but have to admit she always drove me crazy!
After getting a Discover card during her late teens and with only a part-time mall job, my 15 1/2 yr younger sister once told me that the only thing she discovered was how to get in debt.
Another entertaining piece, Susannah!
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Hot and Crusty has the worst coffee on the planet but has never closed in over 30 years and that includes during hurricanes and September 11th. And for the record, those porpoises made me mighty jealous…:)
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Assumptions still aren’t what they’re cracked up to be.
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They certainly are not…:)
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So was hot and crusty the coffee joint or the men? Or maybe both!
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I guess since you mention it, both can apply…:)
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I didn’t see that coming. What a hoot! Glad you discovered your card in time to get the worst coffee on the planet.
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My coffee cup Anne, is always half full, if you know what I mean…:)
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I’m guessing awful coffee is better than none.
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Yes ma’am, especially at 3 in the morning…:)
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Plus, this new discovery might not have been possible had it occurred behind closed doors. In which case, Aunt Clara might have added another doorknob to her collection. But, the important thing, though, was that your much-needed caffeine fix (such as it was) indeed was satisfied. 😀
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That’s right Paul, Aunt Clara collected doorknobs. You really made me laugh.
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Caught you by surprise, huh. Would have loved to have seen her complete collection though. Anyway, loved your post. Nice to know there’s still love out there on the streets of New York—especially at 3 A.M! Glad to see you’re well and staying busy, Susannah. :O)
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Always nice when you pay a call. 🙂
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It’s a pleasure, and nice to know I can still make you smile. 😀
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It’s that nose of yours.
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A beacon to the world!
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LOL
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Hold on! Aunt Clara was one of my ALL TIME favorite characters growing up. Now, I’m cracking up over here realizing that I also have MANY Aunt Clara characteristics. No, I am crying!! September 12, 2018, the day Lisa discovered she is officially Aunt Clara….hahaha! If you only knew the amount of time I spend sweating and digging through my purse for my card.
Glad to know that love is still roaming the streets at 3:00 a.m. ❤
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Porpoises straight from the pool. Aunt Clara from Aunt Clara University.
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Hahahaha! I can’t it’s just so funny.
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You missed your calling…you would have been the funniest comedianne ever…of course it’s not too late…:)
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You’re so kind ❤
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I’m telling the truth there Totie, or, Joan, or Phylis. You’d be silly and old school, not mean and vulgar like the newbies who maim for breakfast. I remember Joan Rivers saying, Prince Charles’s ears were so big, they picked up cable. So silly, he even laughed.
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