I love to give…from the heart, when it opens in truth towards another. But alas, it’s that time of year when those have tos, rear their cocky, cheeky, entitled heads.
We get a letter every December first, stating, how many years the building men have all been here, as my friend Ed so eloquently put it…though who really gives a shit?
Certainly not I.
I know it doesn’t sound like old, benevolent me, but it’s just my response, an Uzi to the head feeling more like a mugging than generous gesture.
I prefer selecting those who make a quiet, unassuming difference in my life, like my sushi man who always makes me a fresh quinoa roll whenever he sees me. I never ask for him to do this, so it’s nice to be treated with such kind regard.
Then there’s the fruit man on the corner who not only gives me credit, but will put a surprise avocado in my bag. They’ll both get nice, warm socks.
Danny, the mailman, who’s always late, apologizing as he drops things like the Mad Hatter of letters with a smile that could melt ice, will also get a gift…a little money, a pair of gloves.
Jose, the coffee cart fella, bestowing that complimentary donut when one’s having a bad day, he’ll get a John Lennon T-shirt who is, come to find out, to borrow language from Lincoln, his beau ideal.
Their humility and honest attempts at doing their best opens my heart, where the men here truly do not. They all have summer homes and brand new cars, a union that protects them no matter what they do. Paid vacations, and in the super’s case, a free apartment, attitude you can cut with a cleaver, plus top-of-the-line wages
Maybe they should be giving me an envelope.
Mother Teresa said, none of us can do great things, but that we can do small things with great love. I’m with her. Trouble here is, if I baked cookies or gave Starbucks cards, my hot water might be turned off. I’m bettin’ they all sport tattoos that say…
CASH ONLY.
I love to give, from the heart, that’s beating in Yuletide protest.
Pollyanna, drunk at the bank. 
Susannah, since there is no choice in the ‘gift’, don’t think of it as anything to do with Christmas. Think of it as part of the yearly rent that just happens to be due now. Sort of like a maintenance fee.
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I suppose that’s a practical way of looking at it. Forgive my whining Skinny. Perhaps it didn’t warrant an essay, but tis the season where all bets are off. Sigh
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I totally understand, and the situation would get my dander up too. But since there’s no way around it without shooting yourself in the foot you’ve got to separate it from your gifts of the heart and make a new category of gifts. What would it be called? Gifts pried from my closed fist?
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You’re so funny Skinny and on the nose…that punch in the nose I’d like to give all of them with their shake down envelope.
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It does seem a bit like extortion, just build a Christmas bonus into the rent if that’s how they’re going to do it.
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I’m glad you understand being the giver that you are since I may have come off a little miserly. I give them money all year round since they will do nothing for nothing. I do service for the sake of doing service, so it’s an upside down concept for me. Not that I feel, one shouldn’t be paid, it’s not that. It’s the extent in which they take it. Greed, it runs the world my Friend. Thanks.
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The difference in getting a “gift” and factoring it in the rent is probably in the taxes. I always hated those yearly “must dos” like giving to the hairdresser that gave me mullet. I like to be generous with those I believe gave real service rather than lip service. You usually talk kindly of your apartment men. Perhaps it’s the owner’s way to encouraging those less generous than you.
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I speak kindly as a rule, so it’s just the idea of it I guess. And I did pony up, delivering the last card with a little personal message, just this morning. Connecticut dies hard, let me tell ya Kate.
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You always do the right thing whether you think it’s the right thing or not.
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It’s built in I guess. It came with the car…:)
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🙂
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I agree that giving should be a spontaneous expression, not coerced.
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Well thank you for that. Christmas sometimes misses the point. sigh
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SB,
Gift giving as per the building men sounds an awful lot like a “free election” in a dictatorship. And you’re spot on, as per. Having to give just ain’t the spirit of the season, not one bit. These straight cash homies suck.
But you gots the spirit down just fine. Keep it up and Yule go far! Aww hell. . I can’t believe I used that pun. But it was there, and I am pathetic. LOL.
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I laughed even before you busted yourself. Greed has never sat well with me and living most of my life in its armpit observing the very rich on the upper east side of New York, it will never cease to amaze me. The doormen have excellent teachers. It’s all done. I’ve been successfully extorted, so not a creature is stirring not even a melodious mouse. Sigh
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I’m drawn to puns, which, I guess isn’t the worst thing in the world.
You’re fixed on the things that matter, so to hell with those greedy ‘lil scavengers looking to hoard every last sliver of cheese.
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I love cheese so point well taken. 🙂
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🙂
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I also feel gifts should come from the heart – not dictated… Merry Christmas! ~Elle
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They should pass a law.
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It’s that “entitlement” thing that rankles. I’m with you one hundred percent.
And, I believe, this behaviour is counter-productive, even from their selfish standpoint. Imagine how much more an unsolicited gift means.
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I agree. I’m thrilled when I get a nice card. Less is always more for me in all things. I’m surrounded by wealth that’s mystifying. Workers want a pie of the pie and feel entitled to it. Go figure.
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I understand the dilemma, but I have to agree with ED. I don’t give anything to someone unless I really choose to. If it comes back to bite me, so be it.
As for your hot water, there is a complaint process for that and a legal process if that doesn’t work. Just sayin…
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This is New York remember where alligators roam.
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Good reply.
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Nothing kills the holiday spirit more than obligatory gift giving, especially to those who expect it…ugh.
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You said it sistah!
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