I first wrote this overly sweet, soppy, schmaltzy piece that even made me sick about the miracle of Christmas.
Well, screw that, and Jane I’ll apologize beforehand. Jane’s an angel who will no doubt get the best suite in heaven for all her good works on earth. If I’m lucky, I’ll be working in Housekeeping, making beds.
See, I’m open, since there very well might be a heaven with a Ritz Hotel and valet parking. Ya just never know.
Frankly, I’m worn out from the drum roll, the monetary expectations, and the beggars on every corner, and I’m not talking about those truly in need. I’m speaking of the professional hustlers who cry on cue like mama dolls Mattel makes. I had one, Chatty Kathy. She cried, cooed and pooped by pulling a string in the back of her head.
I’ve learned to look at their footwear, a dead giveaway to their scam. If I don’t see at least one toe sticking out, I’m unmoved. So Bah Humbug, with a cherry on top.
I want to add how fucking tired I am of Donald Trump who has become a source of embarrassment as far as I’m concerned. Balls to your wall Donald. How bout feeding kids in the Ozarks.
I’m also sick of all this annual, false piety crap. Those who are shits all year round but put their game face on for midnight mass where the smell of scotch rivals the incense. Showing up on Christmas and Easter make them good Christians, at least on paper, as well as their check.
So what if he beats his wife, has three mistresses and a gay house boy he calls his holistic adviser. That 1000 bucks after all will come in handy. God makes exceptions for deep pockets remember.
You know who I feel bad for? The Pope who, as front man, has to clean up all the clerical messes his holy little elves have left. My heart sinks in this area since most of the Catholics I know refuse to talk about it, as if it’s merely a rumor. I think allowing priests to marry might help, but who asked me?
I wrote to my friend Hal in Connecticut who’s one of the happiest, well adjusted souls I know, who’s probably going to a movie and then out for Chinese food. It’s one of the reasons I want to be Jewish.
To Dim Sum and then sum.
So don’t forget to deck those fucking halls, even if you go broke doing it.
Santa’s little vixen.