Louis Latino and Lassie of the Bronx

I’m coming back from Gristides on what I refer to as, old day, when if you’re 62 and over get 10% off all items.

So there I am with my Motts Unsweetened Apple Sauce and Cage Free Jumbo Eggs, when I see a Pitbull with a head like a regulation basket ball tied up in front of the T-Mobile store, casually stopping traffic.

He is by far, one of the handsomest dogs I have ever seen inspiring me to kneel down, my palm open in friendship he immediately licks letting me know he’s friendly too.

I also know, if he was anything but, his owner would never leave him unattended, or at least lets hope.

I peek in the store and see right away who he belongs to. A handsome 35 year-old or so Latino man with muscles that could go on tour.

So I pop in and say, “Is he yours?” He gives me what I can only call a tolerant nod.

“Well he’s really beautiful.” He ignores me.

“You don’t often see Pits that size.”

“That’s because he’s not a Pit,” he says, showing irritation.  “He’s an American Staffordshire Terrier.”

“Well, excuse my error. So he’s a Staffie then.”

“No, he’s an American Staffordshire Terrier. We don’t use nicknames.”

“Alrighty then.”

I go back out and the dog now has a crowd admiring him because you just can’t help it. His width, rivaling a calf with a face that just could make you weep, makes him s show stopper.

I pop in the store again, all mirth and merriment and ask, “Did you adopt him?”

“NO, he’s is not adopted,” he snaps, as if this was insulting, which in my book would make him heroic because now I know his clipped ears were done deliberately to show off the breed.

They do this because the breed itself is known for a particular look. Totally gets my fur up, like the animal really needs to be accessorized.

Did I mention he still had balls the size of Ring Dings?

Another sign I didn’t like because it’s better for the dog to be neutered, but of course, if you do the math, Louis Latino, a perfect name for him, now fighting with the T-mobile kid who keeps telling him there’s a store in the Bronx, would take it as a personal affront having those babies whacked off.

That said…

I am now crouched, petting Apollo, whose name is emblazoned across his studded collar in sapphire blue. There’s also a well-dressed business man and an African American woman with a ten year-old boy alongside me, charmed as can be.

Apollo could run for office, he’s that sweet, but cowers a bit when Louis Latino, his diamond earring glistening in the noontime sun comes out to say in a voice that could’a clipped those balls, “Stop pettin’ my dog. He’s just a baby and hasn’t learned certain things yet.”

Joan of Bark says, Apollo’s massive head happily resting in her lap,”What else does he need to learn? He’s polite, gentle, sweet, sits, shakes hands, besides, you can’t leave him out and expect people not to stop. He’s just too beautiful.”

“And friendly,” says the kid.

“And so big,” chimed in the woman.

“Louis snaps, “Well, he’s gonna get even bigger.” That’s when the business man, clearly smarter than the rest of us, takes off.

The kid, who is next to me on his knees petting Apollo as if he were Lassie says, “Are ya kiddin’, he’s gonna get even bigger. WOW…you should bring him to my school on show-and-tell day, cause no one’s gonna believe it when I tell’em.”

You gotta love kids.

To Louis’s credit, he smiles. So then I say, “Just so you know, me and Apollo are gonna be dating.”

Everyone laughs, but Louis, even Apollo, who seems to like the idea.  🙂   images.jpeg This is a kind of what he looked like…courtesy of Google Images




About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in animals, friendship, humanity, humor, men, New York City and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

34 Responses to Louis Latino and Lassie of the Bronx

  1. Sorryless says:


    Dogs, like everything else, provide a status. They didn’t ask for this, mind you. They ask for little more than love, guidance and some good chow on the regular. And in return, they give us so bloody much. The exchange rate is unfair to them, but they don’t mind.

    One of their most charming traits is the fact they love us for our quirks and habits and they would never dream of changing them. Louis has a keeper, even if he doesn’t deserve it.


  2. skinnyuz2b says:

    I hope that lad treats Apollo well and not roughly. As for his lack of humor and friendliness and inability to socialize, I’ve found that it’s usually a sign that confidence is also lacking. Despite the trappings of good looks, clothes, etc., deep down he’s insecure. Susannah, I’m sorry that your future father-in-law is such a stick-in-the-mud. Hopefully Apollo will make up for it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. robprice59 says:

    Status dogs worry me. Speaking as a Staffordshire lad, born and bred, I worry about “American Staffordshire” too. Is that like when Sauron bred Orcs from Elves?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Well that owner had attitude. I’d be over the moon if someone commented/complimented my pets. I do hate the cosmetic surgery they do to pets to make them more something. They are perfect the way they are.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I passionately agree. He was still a puppy in his gullumpness. Huge paws that weighed a ton. Thought nothing of plunging one onto your lap so happy to meet you. Sure hope his owner lets him keep that gentle quality that he didn’t seem to have. Sigh

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I know that some people are very humorless about their pets. They see them as more than that or something. Maybe he was going to train him for show or something.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Eilene Lyon says:

    Sigh. If only all dogs got the humans they deserved. But then, there aren’t enough SBs to go around, are there?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Yesterday I thought of you when Sidney, a 7-year-old English Bull Massive service dog got on the elevator with me at the hospital, with his old owner. Just imagine Jack Lemmon and Walther Matthau.
    Apollo sounds like the perfect date!


  8. Well, I just about have it figured out. I need to come to NYC, crawl on all fours, look sad, dress nice, and woof – then maybe I have a chance. 🙂 lol

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.