Hair-raising

I’ve decided to leave my hair to Science.  My only dilemma is whether to include my head or not.

Did you say, why Susannah, are you that desperate to be remembered?

Yes.

You see, my hair grows north and thick, like a mushroom, causing me to expand from the neck up in a not so attractive manner, which is why my hairdresser is on retainer.

I’ll go to bed looking relatively normal, just to get up as though I had an electrical short during the night, leading me straight to the sink to douse my head in water.

Then I smother it with leave-on conditioner so lacquered down I could easily be part of a barbershop quartet, which of course, would cut down on all those wash and sets if one would have me, but you know how men are.

I can’t quite figure out, gene wise, who I’ve inherited this mangy mane from. My mother had straight black hair, like Cher, so it couldn’t be from her, and my dad’s family all had curly hair in the shape of corkscrews, which is apt since they were all alcoholic.

Maybe it’s just nature playing one of her silly pranks, growing my tresses like topiary, I really can’t say, but will write to the Smithsonian, perhaps to the Air and Space Museum, that we could maybe change to Hair and Space, to see if they’d be interested. How cool to be near the Wright Brothers first airplane, and John Glenn’s Pressure suit that let’s hope was deodorized.

Maybe I’ll even toss in my brain, you know, as an added bonus.

If nothing else, it might give them a good laugh, which is all we ever hope for here at athingirl.com.  

SB

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in Beauty, Fashion, humanity, humor, nature, women and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

32 Responses to Hair-raising

  1. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, I think my oldest son and you have the same hair gene. In the morning I used to tell him that if he had a bone in his nose he could be the wild man from Borneo.
    A couple of months ago I stopped using mousse in my hair to tame the curls. Now I quickly splash a little water on my conditioner to dilute it and leave the rest on to air dry. Much healthier for the hair and no crinkly ends.
    What happens if you let your hair just go? Is it curly? I’ll bet your hair has lots of body and holds whatever shape you put it in all day. Whatever you’re doing is working, because (as Billy Crystal used to say) you look mahvelous dahling.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. aFrankAngle says:

    While reading, I continually had the mental image of Kramer from Seinfeld. Cheers to your sense of humor!

    Like

  3. Dale says:

    But if your hair has the same personality as that baby’s does (and isn’t hers crazy? I saw a photo shoot of her. Ridonkulous to be so hirsute on one’s head), maybe you have a hair modeling future? Or is it just cute when you’re not yet one year old?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sorryless says:

    SB,

    This is hair raising stuff! Okay . . I can’t help myself with the puns, dammit!

    In high school, I detested my curly hair so I went about trying to repress it every chance I could. Buzz cuts, hair straightening, and finally . . Brylcreem. The buzz cuts never worked for long, as my hair grew faster than a baby blue whale. I had my aunt, who was a hairdresser, apply this hair straightener to me that gave me shoulder length hair . . until it dried and my curls moved back in. So the slicked back look is what I went with for many years.

    Hair and Space . . . please do this!

    Like

  5. robprice59 says:

    Mine is much the same. I spent my younger days trying to beat it into submission with very little success. In the end, I got so fed up I just cut it off. Now I don’t even comb it: just wash and go. Do you think a “Sinead O’Connor” would impinge on your acting career? 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Hair and Space Museum! I love it! I would never have guessed your hair is unruly.

    Like

  7. Well, I can see what you are at – trying to discourage me. Might as well stop, I will not stop.
    Well, not unless you were to specifically ask (please don’t).
    Scott

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Hahaha! My husband has that hair. Some mornings I call him Kramer. I honestly don’t know how you guys survived life before “product”.

    Like

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