There comes a time in every woman’s life when she considers plastic surgery. You look in the mirror one day and wonder, who the hell is that?
I made the decision a while back, to leave myself alone, and it wasn’t easy, not until I took a serious survey.
Living on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, I’m surrounded by women with the means to treat their faces like beachfront property.
The trouble is, most of them overdo it. I saw a woman recently whose face was so pulled you could have skied down her cheeks. You ask yourself, what doctor did this to her, but apparently it’s more the woman wanting more, more, more.
Then there’s the girl I actually know whose lips look like trampolines, big and lumpy, with so much lipstick that make them look even lumpier. Why pray tell, would you want to look as if you were stung by a swarm of bees?
Jackie Onassis comes to mind who in her 50s had what’s called a little clean-up. She still looked herself, just well rested. At least that’s what you thought when you saw her. Now her sister Lee, is another matter. At 85, she looks like a conga drum.
My face has fallen, there’s no denying it. My chin going south, my eyes crinkling like slanted dark potato chips. I tell myself, when someone really looks at you Susannah, they look at you as a whole, unless it’s someone evil, and yes, they lurk like mean queens celebrating your new nooks and crannies.
One such woman has had three face-lifts and doesn’t look any different, a smoker, those lines around her mouth so deep, despite gallons of Botox, still there.
Okay, her forehead is pretty smooth, like a salad plate, but still the poster putz for plastic, if you ask me, pleading the opposite.
DON’T DO IT—ACCEPT WHO YOU ARE.
I want to be like the singer, Patti Smith, who with the exception of perhaps a bang trim, has done nothing to herself and looks incredibly beautiful—every line earned, eyes that tell stories.
Getting older IS NOT A CRIME—
It’s a privilege, as my late, great friend Jackie used to say.
So we may look as if we did 4 tours in Nam, so what.
Gives, keep your chin up, all new meaning, even if you have to hold it up with your forefingers. 
SB
Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.
We are constantly bombarded with images and advertising: if you don’t look and live like this, you are worthless. Business spends big-time to undermine our self-esteem and reap the benefits. I am so pleased that you don’t fall into the trap.
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Yeah well, tell my mirror that however, I do try emulating French women who age so gracefully. I’m even wearing scarves to show my aging chic, says this chick who’s no spring chick. Sigh
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You are drop-dead gorgeous. Age does not equal ugly.
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You’re a little biased there Matey, and it’s quite pleasing to this thin girl who’s aging like cheese, a little bitter but sharp…:)
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…or creamy and mellow, showing great character; goes well with port. 😉
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You sweet talker you.
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I remember telling my friends that I had a plan for my later years. I would have a really, really tight ponytail on top of my head to pull everything up. If only that worked, ha ha! Can you imagine all the women over a certain age with high top ponies?
WI think we all look in the mirror and pull our facial skin a bit, imaging how we used to look. I applaud your decision to go gently into that good night. I’m there with you. I never want to wake up, look in the mirror, and see The Joker looking back.
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Maybe I need to let my hair grow…:)
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It doesn’t work, just gives you a headache. Not that I ever tried it, ha ha!
I’ll be gone for the next week, not sure if I’ll have any service.
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I’ll miss you. You’re always so present for me in the morning. I hope you and your Pookie-Pie have a wonderful time. Be safe. No ponytails. 😊
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Is that what all the young chaps are doing with their top knot things. It’s a look not every man can pull off. Now I think about it, it’s a look no man should try to pull off.
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That look is intriguing on a man…half Confucius, Half Will Defoe…toss in a wrestler with a hairstyle, yes, it’s a look alright.
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Amen. Cheers to you for your choice. Every once in awhile we find someone whose doctor did a good job … and the person looks great – not fake … only knowing they had a lift after discovering their age.
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I’d love to meet them. Sigh
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Great inspirational piece and I agree. For guys, it’s less of a temptation, but we’re just as vain as girls and there is a temptation to look younger sometimes or at least delay the inevitable. But as you said, it’s not a crime to get older.
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If it were a crime we’d all be on the lam. 🥺
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Hear! Hear! Sister! Let us be like Diane Keaton or Judi Dench or – well I was gonna name dames younger than 54 (my age) but really, at that point, there are still some good genes at play, dontcha think? Oh, I just googled Emma Thompson – she’s 56 and also says nay to surgery.
I watched a special on Jane Fonda (and, honestly, the work she has had done is fabulous) and she said she regretted that she had felt the need to have work done. Because today, she wouldn’t. Easy to say when you look barely 60 at 80,
So, look in that mirror, Thin Girl, and blow yourself a kiss. You look mahvellous!
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In good lighting I wish I could take with me every place I go. 😎
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You totally can. Lighting be damned.
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I’m hooking up bulbs as we speak.
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Haha!! Lemme know you you find the best ones. I’ll stock up.
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We can buy in bulk.
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See? Not only beautiful, but smart!
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It used to be called growing old gracefully.
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Yeah Yeah Yeah. Sigh
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I’m trying that way myself, dignity in all things!
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Dignity in all things. I think that’s a motto for a funeral home on Madison. Catchy, isn’t it. 🤨
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Yes.
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Perhaps one should grow old disgracefully?
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That made me laugh.
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Good for you Lady Thin.
As with diets, or any other body altering device us humans dabble in, it must be done (or not done) based on what the individual feels. I don’t watch what I eat to keep my girlish figure (sic). I do so because I don’t want to mess with my health.
You’ve made the right decision, in my opinion. To be comfortable in your own skin is a priceless commodity. Too many peeps feel as if their bodies and faces are billboards, and in so doing they lose the value of themselves.
Okay, I’ll step down from my soapbox.
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We must add a cheaper one as well. The cost of plastic is mind blowing. I’d have to take out a loan. You could buy a house. I’ll be Pompeii, with money in the bank.
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I always reference Uma Thurman, whose beauty was equal parts girl next door and headliner. And then she went and changed it all up. I turned her transformation into a term I call “Uma Face”. It means you have plenty well enough, and yet, you can’t leave it alone.
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Funny you should mention her. I’ve see her up close. She was so beautiful. I don’t get it. If anyone didn’t need tampering it was Uma. Insecurity is a vicious thing. Sigh
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Really?
And no, I don’t get it either. Why would you mess with that beautiful face is beyond me.
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Some agent, boyfriend or manager told her she was getting droopy so she panicked and renovated. Just a hunch. Too bad it wasn’t her couch instead.
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Never ever listen to a dude when it comes to this kind of thing.
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If a guy whether it be my fella, friend or grocer, told me I needed a little work like I was a scratched up Chevy, he’d see me make skid marks reminding him how much I still get to the gallon. Wonder who I’m channeling. Sigh
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You’re channeling every dame who ever understood her worth.
The caricature of that male ‘pageant’ judge you refer to is some mope who sports a size 42 pair of slacks whilst remarking on a woman’s lack of lithe. And there are plenty of these caricatures walking around, snickering over the mythical “wall” a woman hits.
Of course, it’s insecurity and ignorance talking. Maybe their mama didn’t hug ’em enough or maybe they got hurt one too many times by women who knew better.
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WHOA!!!! Another riveting polemic. Criticism should be addressed with citizen’s arrest, or a least a summons…like, I summon you to shut the fuck up. Hmm
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If a polemic ain’t riveting, then it ain’t a polemic.
Jesus, imagine if we had the power to really make a citizen’s arrest? I mean, without litigation or social media convening on us like vultures?
The offense would have to be legitimately offensive, of course. But there is plenty of that crime going on. And we would be taking their asses down!
Short of that, I dig your summons. 🙂
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It would be like Tombstone…High Noon all day. Social Media…it makes me sick to be quite honest.
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You ever notice how unsociable social media is becoming. And fasten your seat belts boys and girls, because we ain’t seen nothing yet!
Yikes.
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Like snakes run it. 🥺
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I always have to remind myself we are not even in the deep waters of what social media will look like yet. Why does that scare the hell out of me?
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It should. Look at what’s happening to our world from government to climate change, who’s no longer on the planet to the Kardashians having clout and power, not to mention Jackie’s tank watch. Sigh
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Social media mimics the plight of mankind. Every innovation brings progress, but we must understand this progress has a price tag.
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I’m not a fan. It’s why no one reads anymore. They’re too busy Tweeting what they had for dinner.
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The greatest social experiment in the history of the world is what it is. And here’s the kicker. We are willingly divulging our private information. All of it. Because when you give them a quarter, you better believe they’re taking the full dollar.
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You said it pal. It’s why I took myself off of FB. Of course my readership is nonexistent because I’m fighting for privacy. Losing… people showed up that made me cringe., wanting to get together. My skin crawls just writing that. I long for the days of yore where you lived quietly and could still have your art without turning into a literary strumpet just to get yourself in print. I say this with my hand over my disheartened heart. You can tell it’s a rainy day.
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There is no such thing as balance when you’re on platforms such as FB. You either go velvet rope or you go clearinghouse. I realize that my cautionary dabbling is enough to feast on. It’s amazing how algorithms can write novels based on the most innocuous status.
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down. Karen Carpenter sang that one to me once upon a time. Thank goodness we have some Friday to barter with.
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Did you ever the joke…if Mama Cass shared her sandwich with Karen Carpenter, they’d both be alive today. Harrump.
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SB! That’s so darkly humorous, and I didn’t say it first? Wowza.
Who knew that rain brings out Cat Woman?
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Old joke that popped out like a toad. Oops.
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Was it in your purse? You ladies and your purses . . .
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Like in the film, Victor Victoria when she hides a cockroach in hers to pop on her dinner plate so she doesn’t have to pay her bill. Great movie. Robert Preston ruled. 🎬
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You’re on a movie kick . . .
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I’m a regular Turner Classic, I am.
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In my humble opinion Turner Classic Movies is the best channel on the dial.
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Even in color, that Ted, such a prankster.
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I remember the big to do when they took crayons to the classics. I never paid much mind to it seeing as how I much preferred black and white. Because I saw them in my colors then.
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Casablanca should never be in color…I mean really. I’m not even sure he crayolaed that, but there are some things one should never tamper with…like Audrey, or Freddy. 🙂
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You don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you don’t spit in the wind. You don’t pull the mask off of old Lone Ranger and you never colorize Casablanca . . .
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You’re too funny.
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Damn, that was a tad bit strong. The coffee’s kicking it this morning.
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Yes, one could say we’re both perking.
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You’re perking and I’m wired. Poifect!
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We’ve gone electric, like Dylan.
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He still hasn’t heard the end of that from some corners.
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But times they are a changin’. Couldn’t help myself.
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Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen . . .
Because I can’t help myself either.
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It’s one of my favorite songs even with its new lyrics. 🎼
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Gimme a new song to stick in my head for tomorrow, will ya? 🙂
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How bout the National Anthem I heard Trump is thinking of changing to Achy Breaky Heart. Oh say can you see that on social media? Will make pulling down national monuments like kicking over leggos.
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What happens if you take a knee and are arrested for being unpatriotic? Can you plead not guilty, sticking to a defense that you were simply mimicking a Billy Ray Cyrus dance move?
By the dawn’s early breaking news, I sure can see that!
And hey! You just gave me an idea. Maybe national monuments SHOULD be made of legos! It will save us a ton of money.
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Let’s call our Congressman.
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On it!
And umm . . . what is the password?
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Mattel
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Buahahaha!
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I had this song in my head ALL day.
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I love that you’re so musical. 🎼
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It’s the peanut butter to my jelly. Or is that the other way around?
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I’m not very musical though I pretend by tapping my foot.
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Tapping your foot is where it starts. It’s the gateway drug to a full on dance floor habit.
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Good point. I used to dance in my youth, like one of the Shangri-las the Leader of the Pack.
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NOT an easy song to dance to. So needless to say, you’re being just a tad bit humble as to your dancing game.
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I can Twist again like I did several summers ago. As a matter of fact I’m twisting now. Like riding a bike. 🚵♂️
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It’s always at the ready. Summon the twist and give yourself a requisite amount of space. Unless you’re in line at Starbucks and you feel like clearing some space. Perfectly acceptable.
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Like in The Full Monty when they’re in line and start wiggling. Love that.
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When you think about it, that’s the way to do it. I mean, how much time do we spend in line during our lives? Might as well make the most of it.
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Agreed. I’m wiggling as I write, so my Ws might be a little shaky. 🙂
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She’s going Dali!
That’s gonna be my new catchphrase. 🙂
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Well, at least you’re no longer humming, The Times They are a’ changin.’ 🙂
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LOL. You’re not gonna let that one go, are you?
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You’re the one humming it, not me. Now I’m going through Helen Reddy’s repertoire thanks to you. Huh
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It’s the ole tit for tat. I’d say sorry but I’m really not . . .
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I am very thankful you have decided not to tinker with the structure of your face. It is beautiful, as is the spirit behind it. Inner beauty will shine through wrinkles and make them lovely.
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Such a sweet sentiment Anne I will try to remember when I look like a map of Delaware. I’m making a note. 🙂
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Delaware is beautiful, so its map should be also.
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I’m getting a banner made to wear over my peacoat. Welcome to Delaware. 🚩
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Will Della wear a nice coat?
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🌹
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Della has to think. Her repartee is still sleeping.
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Agree wholeheartedly! (Though it doesn’t stop that cringe when I look in the mirror, or stop me from pulling the extra flesh back to see “what if.”)
The nice thing about living here in Colorado is that you see very little of the plastic scene amongst locals, unless you live in Aspen or some such. I know so many beautiful women aging as themselves – I can fit right in.
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How nice you live there. It’s a beautiful state. Makes me think of that John Denver song when he praises it so. You’re lucky women with stone faces aren’t in your midst. Here it’s legion.
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I often think it’s a blessing from God that our eyesight gets a little fuzzy as we age hence, I never wear my glasses when I shave .
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Do you still have chin?
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Yes chin is still ok , but overall it all looks better without the glasses . Regarding aging , My mother in law in Ireland would often quip , “ Sure how can a flower bloom for forty years “?
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OUCH
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Ouch ?
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What your mother said.
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I have read and been told how poison Botox is to your system, so why put it inside you?!
Most women are pretty w/o the mess ups and if you do 1, where do you stop?
You are right, don’t start and you don’t have to stop.
I don’t know how current your blog pic is, and would love to see a current one, but, regardless, girl, you are beautiful, inside and out. The inside never has to change and that is the 70%er, the other 30% will definitely change over time.
Hang in there; I guarantee you have one fan- and he bought your kindle book about the cat. Number 2, I know I have a couple more…
Scott
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That was nice of you. Puccini is my favorite character. She’s the Ava Gabor of cats. Thanks again.
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The bigger questions for me is why are these conga drums (cracking up and your description) not filing malpractice suits? How the hell do they not see what we see? Is vanity that powerful? Natural is always better, from our food to our faces.
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I felt bad writing that since two weeks later she drummed her last. Surgery upsets me. I can’t help it. If I see one more stretched mouth that looks like Jack Nicholson as the Riddler, I’m never again leaving my house again. My mouth can just go south with dignity.
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Surgery is scary, and elective surgery is insane. I’m too afraid of not waking up or waking up with the thought that I revealed a bunch of secrets.
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I remember the woman who wrote, First Wives Club, died on the table during a facelift. Scary business.
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