I’m coming from the subway in Grand Central, when I see a young mother with a one-year old in a stroller. I watch her examine the stairs knowing, she’ll have a hard time maneuvering everything on her own. I look to see if any men stop to help, but none do.
A man of color in a wheelchair, positioned in a corner, is watching too. He’s huge, like a Linebacker, very well kept, missing a leg.
Meanwhile, it’s Easter Sunday so Grand Central is packed with commuters and yet, no one still thinks to stop.
I say to the mom, can I help in any way? She smiles, says no, placing her daughter down as she capably collapses the stroller.
I stand by this little Asian doll who looks at me as if to say, I’ve seen this all before.
So me and the man of color, watch them stoically disappear down the busy stairwell.
I look his way, sighing heavily.
“I can’t believe no man stopped to carry that stroller for her. I would have at least tried, if she had let me. I’ve learned though, in my helpful travels, to ask first.”
He says, “Yeah, I see this a lot. People just are too much in a hurry these days to lend a hand, on the other end, it’s also hard to accept one.” It was then I saw he had a cup discreetly attached to the arm of his wheelchair.
“I rarely carry cash,” I say, “but do have a bunch’a quarters. Would that help?”
He laughs. “Come to think of it, it would, because I need to do laundry.”
Don’t ask me why this popped out of my mouth, but I say, “You know what I know without a doubt? If you were able, you would have helped that young mom.”
He looks at me like the man I instinctively know he is and says, “I would have helped her in a minute. You are so right.”
After an awkward silence I say, “I’m Susannah.”
“Lorenzo,” he answers.
“Happy Easter Lorenzo, it was really nice meeting you.”
“Likewise, and thanks for stopping to talk to me.”
It was then I realized he was a Vietnam Vet, something else he was discreet about.
Hankies all around.
SB
It’s a fend for yourself world. A young mother would not think to ask for help because she must learn to go it alone very often. I imagine she also feels that to accept an offer of help undermines her capabilities (silly, but there you have it).
And I think you saw that vet looking at the situation with the same eyes you were. Kindred spirits. War heroes, both.
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War heroes in our midst. Trouble is, you wonder who really is one and who’s just using it as part of their hustle.
And as far as Mom goes, she was capable but I still say deserved a helping hand. I can’t imagine what it’s like taking public transportation with a child in tow, let alone one that comes with a chariot. Sadly, self-absorption has gone viral so we women are on our own. Chivalry can be found on display at the Victoria Albert Museum in London.
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That is so very true – the hustle vs the honest.
As for the Mom – all moms deserve a helping hand. I avoided it like the plague. Luckily leaving in the ‘burbs means having a car – and that was a party and a half in itself!
Self-absorption is at an all-time high…
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She needed a car. She had so much stuff yet, she seemed serene lacking any anger whatsoever. Norma Rae here was the one having the fit. sigh
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I hear ya. It’s amazing to watch those who are all put together and zen. Cant say I always was…
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I’m sure you were Mom of the year, and still are. I just know it.
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Oh hell no. Right now I feel like my eldest can’t stand me right now…
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It’s just teenage wasteland remember…:) I was once a big Who fan. Who would’a thought.
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Oy. It’s sooo hard.
Why not? I still enjoy their music 😉
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It was a recall that came out of nowhere. Memory can be funny. Love Oy…I’m a shiksa from way back, but use that expression a lot. 🙂
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Memory is hilarious… how I can remember lyrics from 30 years ago but can’t remember what I ate for supper last night… 🙄
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Me too. It still bewilders me.
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The things that stay on my memory… no sense whatsoever. Or maybe. They do.
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If my Pookie or one of my sons had been there they would have helped too. He taught our boys well. Same goes for giving up a seat, etc. I’d also say that 75% of the people in our small town would do the same. It’s just a different world up here in the boonies.
Lorenzo sounds like a class act, as are you my friend.
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Sometimes my helpfulness isn’t greeted warmly, but I saddle up anyway. Manners, they are so nice when they appear, like sudden sunshine upon your shoulders. 🙂
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SB,
You and Lorenzo got it right.
I’ve been in that position where I offered to assist someone, and the responses ran the gamut- from appreciation to indifference to outright hostility.
I think indifference ticked me off the most, LOL. I mean, I was happy for the appreciation and I even understood the less than pleasant responses because we kind of are conditioned to expect the worst.
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The elderly hate it the most. You need to be clever about it. Kids are unconscious, and adults range, like you described. Crankiness tends to reign here in the Big Apple.
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True.
And that’s why your Best Stories are such gems. 🙂
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You’re wooing me again. I’m all’a blush. 😍
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It seems that even in the blogosphere, I sidle up to the fun peeps. 🙂
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I hope there are a lot more people like you in that big city. It makes me wonder if our urban zones have become too impersonal. I had a recent experience in Berkeley I’ll be sharing soon that was a bright spot, like you.
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Bright spots should be highlighted. 🙂
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People can be wonderful when given the opportunity. Even the mean ones, are not always as mean as we think they are.
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I suppose that’s true.
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As a mother, I thank you. As a human, I thank you. My grandmother always said “manners can be fun” and if not, they can help you find a good story.
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Manners are certainly down a quart I hate to say, but some of us still prevail. Thanks for writing.
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Great story of connection and kindness. Everyone felt present in the story. Real.
I particularly liked this line:
“I’ve learned though, in my helpful travels, to ask first.”
Your “helpful travels.” Lovely description.
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Thank you for writing.
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Such a wonderful story, Susannah. I now use my walker wherever I go and even though I can get around w/o help, it never fails…adult or youngster…male or female…someone’s always speeding up to smilingly assist w/doors, etc. My wonderful husband, Michael, is a Memory Care resident but insists on helping any and everyone in any possible way. He taught our four sons and our ten grand’s about manners and they are always there to help others. Good manners are such an asset and so appreciated…most always. Always an exception…or two. Love manners; they matter. Touching piece…thanks.
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You have a real old-fashioned family, big and thriving. And yes, manners along with service could change the world.
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Whenever I ride a train and see the stickers instructing the passengers to leave the seat for pregnant women or elderly or sick, I come to think why people are being compelled to exercise compassion. I mean, it should be a voluntary act.
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Yeah, but it’s not. It’s as if it’s gone out of style. I ride the train a lot, and the politest people are those of color. The Latino busboy who worked all night is the one who gives up his seat, while the CEO reading his Wall Street Journal doesn’t even notice the pregnant woman or someone with a cane. It never fails to astound me.
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No wonder, we are living in a world where kindness has to be promulgated. Nice story 👍
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Thanks.
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