Call for Miss Bianchi

I had a date. Yeah I know, wonders never cease.

He’s a guy I see most mornings walking his Jack Russell, my least favorite breed since, they’re about as cuddly as a banker you’re hitting up for a loan…red flag number one. Unknown.jpegWhen he says, hey, wanna have dinner sometime? I disregard the PAUSE RULE of, waiting five seconds before answering.

“Sure,” I say, while Fido has his teeth fixed on the hem of my hoodie.

“How bout tonight? Know a great little place on York I’m betting you’ll like.”

“Is it quiet?”

“I’ll make sure of it.”

Hmm, does he own it? I’m now dreaming of carte blanche at the dessert cart.

So I get there on time in my best Audrey dress, and he’s late.

Red flag number 2. Unknown.jpeg I’m from Connecticut you see, so arriving when you’re supposed to is considered a pastime, same as golf, croquet and the designated cocktail hour.

When he finally waltzes in, minus an apology, I think, oh let it go, as I peruse the French menu with entrees that should come with oxygen and a heart surgeon.

After licking his lips like a cat, he puts his phone on the table, so now there’s 3 of us.

When the waiter comes to get our drink order, he textes.

When the drinks arrive, he textes again.

While the waiter gives us the nightly specials, he does it again.

“Um, could we have a few minutes please,” I say to, Mr. you’re hurrying us just a tad, who reluctantly departs.

“Are you going to be flirting with your phone all during dinner?”

He looks at me with great bewilderment. “Will that be a problem?”   Unknown.jpegUnknown.jpegUnknown.jpegUnknown.jpeg

This time I do observe the PAUSE RULE…1…2…3…4…5…

“No, it won’t be,” I say, as he checks it again.

“Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“Call for Miss Bianchi. Hmm, wonder who it could be,” I say, popping my cardigan round my shoulders, clicking my heels like Dorothy.

“Excuse me, will you?”

He doesn’t even look up. You know why?

HE’S TEXTING.

So, as I’m galloping up York, wondering what I’ll pick up for dinner, I get a text.

Are you okay?

NO PAUSE RULE REQUIRED

Yes, couldn’t be better…and by the way, tell your phone to order the veal, I hear it’s divine.   images.jpeg

🙂 SB

About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in alcohol, Connecticut, Culture, food, humor, internet, media, men, New York City, Women and men, writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

60 Responses to Call for Miss Bianchi

  1. aFrankAngle says:

    Bummer – then again, good for you. Have you seen him again during a morning walk?

    Like

  2. skinnyuz2b says:

    Yahoo for you! You handled that like a pro, Susannah. I’m sure he’s still trying to figure out what your problem was. I once had an obnoxious date, but cell phones weren’t invented yet.
    Many years (decades) ago I had a first date who took a wad of large bills from his pocket and asked me to count them. I told him I didn’t think I could count that high and handed it back. After dinner I suddenly got a headache. As I left his car to return to my apartment, he asked, “What’s the matter? Don’t you love me?” Stunned, I replied, “I don’t think I even like you.” Amazingly, he pestered me for a second chance for weeks!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dale says:

    Bravo, Susannah!

    What a dick. I am sorry, but one would think that – unless you had a date with a twenty-something (and that, in itself is another kudos to you, IF he had some savoir-vivre) – a guy of a decent age would have proper manners. I’m thinking you definitely ignored the red flags even though you knew in your gut it was probably not the best idea 😉

    Makes me think of a story my friend told me. She had that coffee date that follows a right-swipe. He’s in line before her (Starbucks genre of coffee shop) orders, then says he’ll go find them a seat, thereby leaving her will pay. She turns to the barista and says one for here and one to go. Brought him his coffee and left.

    I love ballsy women!

    Like

  4. robprice59 says:

    I know you deserve better!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sorryless says:

    SB,

    The rules of not just dating, but of civilized society (I know, it died a horrible death) should be a given. This fella really should just find a nice phone and settle down . . away from civilized society.

    What did you decide on for dinner?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. That’s sadly modern, although I love your telling of it. People are more likely to talk to someone far away than the one they’re with, it seems. Great piece though. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Eilene Lyon says:

    Earth to clueless dolt…! Geez, sorry you ended up there, but at least you made a classy departure. Long before cell phones there were video game arcades. Nothing worse than a date where a guy spends the entire time showing off his prowess at Asteroids. 🙄

    Liked by 1 person

    • Like I just explained to Anne, I don’t need a date to be fulfilled. I’d rather be home with a salad and a book than to be with anyone who leaves that uninspired. One longs for a man who presses those buttons even if they are a tad rusty, but someone who is that self-absorbed who couldn’t find a button unless it said SEND, just doesn’t deserve your time.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I think I might have ordered what I wanted and eaten in peace. He wouldn’t have interrupted you with a question when your mouth was full. Do you suppose he would have stopped texting to eat?

    I admire you for walking out on him, and I’m happy that you didn’t eat things that were not good for you. In addition, you wrote an amusing account of the non-date. Way to go!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Anything for an essay. You see, I’m unabashedly self-possessed. I’d rather be with me than someone who is just a big blob of matter who really doesn’t matter, do you know what I mean Anne? Now, if he was charming, funny, polite and really had those keys to the dessert cart, I would have been pleased to be in his company.

      And I think he would have texted during the whole meal. He was an asshole, pardon my parlance.

      Like

  9. Vasca Beall says:

    Yeah, way to squish that clueless turd with the click of your heels. You did the ‘right thing’ walking out on the spaceman. Rude, rude using your phone when you’re with others…manners are still to be used even in our present society. Keep it up…there are some good ones out there and you’re sure to meet one who is worth your time and effort. Sometime, somewhere…oh yes girl. Love the essay…a great one!!!

    Like

  10. Isn’t dating just wonderful? At the recommendation of a female friend, I am trying out a new dating site – doublelist.com Interesting name? Anyway, you go through the maze to get registered and do the pictures thing, then you post…Did I say post? I meant, try to post. So, far, I have done five, 1 was accepted, 3 kicked out, and the last is “under review”. It first goes through a computer word check…it found “vulgarities” in my post…I never put vulgarities in a post. I decided to change “eat” to “dine”. It is now in review and someone reads it, personally judges it good or now and stamps it go or no…
    I won’t answer the question I asked you right now…
    Scott
    PS- I wouldn’t spend my evening on the phone if I were with you out to dinner…We would converse.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Patricia says:

    Good for you! He was a jerk.

    Like

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