Staying The Course

I’m in hell right now due to a bevy of reasons I won’t list since, whining never helps anything. Now wining is a different story, but it’s much too early to crack open a bottle of red.

I talk openly about being in a 12 Step Program, two to be exact. The rule is, anonymity for others, but you can come clean as long as you keep it about yourself.

To be open and honest, candor flowing, is my greatest goal, thinking of enrolling in the John Waters’s Online Course..Spilling Your Guts in 4 Easy Lessons…All Major Credit Cards Accepted.

That all said.

When those winds come, how do we proceed? I’ve had challenges my whole life and maybe youth made them easier to conquer, because I feel as if I’m losing ground, not to mention my wallet that I swear, plays Hide and Seek at least once a day.

My forgetfulness concerns me, not to mention a chronic case of distraction. Saturday after hysterically retracing my steps, located my Debit Card at Barnes and Noble that a woman apparently behind me in line, rescued, unable to catch up with me since I tend to gallop like a Greyhound late for a race.

It scares the wits out of me, this early dementia? Oh we all do it, says my friend Ed.

But do we?

He also said, a doctor told him, if you’re worrying about dementia, you couldn’t possibly have it. If I knew where that doctor was, I’d send a bouquet.

My mother, who in one way or another inhabits my being, her strength I’ve mysteriously inherited, gets me out of bed every day regardless. Just now while having a substantial sob still made coffee after taking my vitamins, making the bed and donning my running clothes.

Right foot left foot, chants in my head like an Olympic Mantra.

When Bette Davis said, old age ain’t for sissies, All About Eve wasn’t just whistlin’ Dixie, Lincoln’s favorite tune, by the way.

I guess if I can still remember Abe whistling, I must have at least one marble left.

That all said….

where the hell are my keys?

Better check the fridge.



About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
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50 Responses to Staying The Course

  1. skinnyuz2b says:

    I used to reassure my mother that due to worry about dementia, she noticed her memory lapses more . When we’re young and forgetful the lapses pass with nary a second thought. I’m in the older shoes now and my reassuring line is difficult to swallow. But maybe there is a grain of truth in it. Fingers crossed.
    And since we’re both worried about it, I sure hope that doctor is correct.


    • Gotta love that doctor and Ed who told it to me. Humor, it bails you out Skinny. As unnerved as it all makes me, it also makes me laugh, like when my glasses I’ve just spent 20 minutes hysterically looking for, alas, are on my head. OY


  2. aFrankAngle says:

    A brilliant reflection that delivers both smiles and heartache. Be strong and keep smiling!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Elle Knowles says:

    I was questioned on this subject just recently by my son who swears he told me something. Those words never left his lips in my direction. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
    Hold your ground Susanna. You aren’t alone. I think our brains slow down a bit as we grow older, and when you find that doctor, add some flowers to his bouquet from me too!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sorryless says:


    Ed and the doctor are right, it’s not something you’d be concerning yourself with if you were experiencing the symptoms of it.

    You’re a voracious reader, which is a very good thing. Because it means that your mind is not only spot on when it comes to dealing up razor sharp wit and cheeky anecdotes, but it’s processing faster than a spin class instructor.

    Keep reading, writing and running. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Dale says:

    What Marc said! And, I heard tell it’s normal to forget little things when the mind is busy with so other stuff. All jokes aside, there are times when I think, shit, what the hell is the matter with me? Then I sit down and realise that there is a circus going on inside my mind – the memory of where I put my glasses or keys is stuck behind the trapeze artist and the juggler. I take a deep breath and amazingly enough, said objects appear rather quickly. Unless I was wearing a coat when I stopped off for gas and left my card in one of the pockets. Then I have to try to remember what I was wearing or go through every damn pocket of every damn jacket I own!

    Keep on keeping on, You’re doing fabulously.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I usually have a place (or 3) for an item and try to ALWAYS put it in one of the 3. Not so hard to find. I saw an ad for 3×3 squares of clear plastic that adhere to anything and come off when you need them to. I wanted several as one of the suggestions was to put one next to the door and stick your keys to it.
    I have a question, none of my…, but still. if you are in 2 12 step programs, why is it you still occasionally drink?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. robprice59 says:

    You remember the fridge is a good place to look and that has to be a positive. πŸ˜‰
    What you lose in memory, you gain in wisdom. It’s like grey hair and wrinkles: you can try to fight but maybe it’s better to just roll with it.
    In the final analysis, our time here is so brief, it would be a criminal waste to spend even a moment being miserable.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. It’s OK to lose things, as long as it isn’t your mind you are losing.

    I forget things, but I try not to worry about it. My memory is still better than many of those around me. I try to be especially aware when I put something down in an unusual place. I may soon say something aloud to myself like, “You are putting your keys in the medicine cabinet. You’d better remember that.”

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Patricia says:

    Getting old is tough, but the getting there builds character muscles. One of the character muscles is sense of humor to help us with the gritty parts of the nitty. Hang in there you are doing just fine.🐈

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I’m forgetful about somethings, although it’s usually names. As a teacher, I’m good at remembering a lot of names very quickly, but then I forget them just as quickly if I don’t see the people for a while. I think with all your reading and exercise, you’ll stay sharp for a long time. If you’re worried, you can study a foreign language or something. πŸ™‚ I’ve heard coffee staves off dementia too, just saying

    Liked by 1 person

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