Four-Legged Referrals

Wouldn’t it be great if animals we knew could give us references, so we’d get that job?

I’d be hired for everything if Hans the Hotdog, or Zeus the Cat spoke on my behalf.

Hans: I’ve known Susannah now for most of my life which is going on 8 months, and like me, she has poise and pedigree, if you consider Prada proper lineage. We met in the Park when I misplaced my ball, and yes, I still have mine, thank you very much, climbing over the fence to get it, giving it back proving she is very noble and trust worthy.

Zeus: Susannah is one of my closest friends for 5 years now. She’s warm and considerate whenever she takes care of me, leaving me with a clean box knowing as a Virgo, it means the world.

Of course Carmela the Basset Hound, would sing my praises like nobody’s business.

Carmela: Susannah took care of me for 2 years without pay because I really needed a friend. I never laughed so much especially when she’d whisper in my rather big ears things like…fat Pug up ahead, or cookie at 12 o’clock. She’s also very democratic, taking me everywhere, including to get our nails done. She’s the one who taught me to be a lady instead of just puttin’ on the dog. We mustn’t forget her sense of humor. For Halloween, we went trick or treatin’ as Bill and Hilary. I have to say, I looked pretty good with a blonde bouffant.

Yeah, animals have better instincts than a lot of people who miss a lot when it comes to character.

Zeus: Once my heat went off so she came over with a cashmere sweater she wrapped me in like I was Orson Welles (alright, I do need to lose a few pounds), and stayed all night. She even broughtย  liver pate’, my favorite, and read me Cat In The Hat. When I rubbed up against her, she said, she was sorry, but I was a little too young for her. She’s a pearl of a girl alright, with morals.

Hans: Not once when my German came out, like when I punched Darla the Poodle, who I can’t stand, did she get mad. She said, Darla, that little bitch, had it comin’, before hiding me in her bathroom for the rest of the day.

They don’t make Susannahs anymore.

You’d be a fool not to hire her.

Sincerely Yours,

Carmela, Hans, and Zeus

๐Ÿ™‚ SB







About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
This entry was posted in animals, creative writing, food, friendship, humor, Love, nature, New York City, words and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

48 Responses to Four-Legged Referrals

  1. Sorryless says:


    This piece had me rolling. Your wit is only exceeded by your wickedly talented pen. You know, I like saying pen. Even though most people don’t use ’em much if at all any longer. It keeps things old school.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dale says:

    This was hilarious, Susannah!

    I have to agree with Marc – your wit and your pen are wickedly full of talent.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hilarious!!!! If it were a dog’s world, you’d have your pick of high-paying jobs.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Forget Yelp, I could see a site called Yowl, for animals to rate people. They could give 1-4 paws up. You’d be a superstar there. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Eilene Lyon says:

    All very credible character witnesses. If they donโ€™t get you the job, they should at least keep you out of the clinker!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, animals would certainly be an accurate character reference. Not just to help us pet lovers, but also to prevent the hiring of jerks. Dogs, especially, are able to spot them a mile away.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. robprice59 says:

    Maeve has a fridge magnet that reads “If your dog thinks youโ€™re great, donโ€™t seek a second opinion”.


  8. aFrankAngle says:

    The perfect post about the perfect idea! Oh yes โ€ฆ the animals definitely know us! โ€ฆ Hope all is well as I race around trying to catch up!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Well, I have never been in your bathroom, but they do think like I do.

    Liked by 1 person

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