Observations

Dogs in raincoats.

They seem genuinely embarrassed in their yellow slickers with the collar turned up. They look at you as if to say…yeah I know, but she feeds me, she hugs me. What are you gonna do. You gotta take the good with the bad after all.

Boobs on parade.

Tis the season where they cheerfully greet you on every corner in all shapes and sizes like flirty flight attendants…wiggling, preening, happy to be in and out of their cups, so to speak. I’m waiting for a cop to pull two over and say….up against the wall girls, and don’t try any funny business.

Tourists.

Like ants at a picnic. Thousands of them with cameras and maps, hotdogs and fat rear ends polluting the Park like they’ve never seen grass before. We must also account for their littering as if they think maid service continues outside the hotel.

Free Shakespeare in the Park that’s not so free if you have to sleep on a blanket all night to insure a seat. You know what’s free? Walking in ten minutes before curtain.

Married couples who don’t speak to each other.

After 40 years, what else is there to say. By now it’s all eye rolling and hand signals. Of course there are exceptions not to mention, emergencies where you have to address your spouse alerting him with…your fly’s open there buster.

Which brings me to the suit on his phone talking in stereo, his zipper, not only open but as wide as the Mississippi. Smug and drenched in self-importance having no idea he was at half mast. Practicing zipping my lip, which is more than I can say for him, zipping his pants, I just walked on by, but then heard my mother mewl from the ether..have I taught you nothing? Don’t let him stand there looking like such a schmo even though…making me back up to tell him…

Hey Sparky…yeah you, the one who thinks he’s so fly…pun intended…the candy’s store’s open.

Huh?

I gaze along the Mississippi like Huck Finn with a Latte instead of an oar.

OOPS

ZIP

FINI

πŸ™‚Β  SB…Cub ReporterΒ  images.jpeg

About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in Culture, humanity, humor, inspiration, men, New York City, Starbucks, words and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

40 Responses to Observations

  1. Dale says:

    Great observations, Susannah.
    Got me more than one chuckle…
    And I’m glad he didn’t make some smartass comment about you checking him out to notice the fly unzipped…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You’ve have a whole cross section of the world to observe there, like having your own human-sized ant farm. Great to see your observations through your eyes. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  3. aFrankAngle says:

    Absolute brilliance!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sorryless says:

    Cub Reporter Nonpareil,

    That pug looks absolutely miserable. Or high. Both?

    But you’re right, pets know the deal. They suffer our inane humor whilst getting the last laugh every single time. Because let’s face it, they ain’t missing meals and they’re the reason we keep the house temp just right. And why visitors must abide by their rules.

    As far as boobs go, its summer so I’m keeping abreast of the situation. I have some rather pointed observations on the subject that I’m probably gonna have to get off my chest before too long.

    Tourists are like white noise to me.

    I don’t tend to notice free stuff, because my mind is wired to expect a clause.

    Forty years is worthy of some kind of award. I thought eleven years was a lifetime, so I’m a lousy judge of these things.

    And every time I see one of these “Look at me” dudes having a conversation on his phone with the entire area code, I feel like interjecting shit into the conversation.

    Your observations rock.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I know we whack each other off compliment wise, ooh…such a term from a Connecticut girl but…you write so well. Love the eternal play on words…abreast…and yes, I hear a Soryyless post coming on, like a fever.

      Pugs, yes…let’s hope at least that breed is high since they should all have their noses fixed. It’s as if they pressed it against a butcher’s window, just a little bit too hard.

      And this Look at me dudes, have gone viral. THEY’RE EVERYWHERE…LIKE DANDY-LIONS YOU CAN’T WEED.

      What can we do Mr. Imma? It’s why it’s best we don’t own firearms.

      πŸ™‚

      Like

  5. robprice59 says:

    Susannah’s world is an interesting and entertaining place.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. skinnyuz2b says:

    My oldest daughter got a Mexican Hairless when she was thirteen. He’s one dog that actually liked his little coats in the winter to keep him warm. In the summer he needed sunscreen outside.
    Bosoms are bountiful all year long in high school,, but the last two months of school give more than an eyeful. Make that two eyefuls. There really should be enforced dress codes. Daisy Duke shorts, exposed midriffs, plunging necklines. Testosterone filled boys do not need encouragement, they’re already fully charged.
    I thought I looked fairly nice yesterday in a floaty sundress with tiny buttons all the way down the front. After many errands I waited in line to pick up my salad. Glancing down I saw that two buttons, on the lower portion of my bosom, were wide open. If only I had met you during my first errand I wouldn’t have given everyone a show. At least I had the ladies contained.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. And how could anyone, at all, ever be insulted or upset at your observations, um, or your reactions…?

    Like

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