You just never know who’ll you see toolin’ round New York, or in this case, who you thought you saw.
I have distance glasses I never wear, honing the art of squinting just seeing enough to kind of identify what’s in front of me.
It was early afternoon when me and my latest book were training it home from the dentist, the one I wrote about that resembles a hut in the Congo.
When the 6’s doors flashed open at Union Square, well I’ll be, since none other than Dolly Parton stepped into the car. I was stunned really, wondering, why on earth would she be taking public transportation, and no, I wasn’t drinking.
My sassy side said, the same reason you do, it’s fast. What, the train isn’t good enough for Dolly?
I actually take the train because it’s cheap but, who am I to argue with myself.
I stared at her shimmering bleached blonde wig cascading halfway down her back, her butt, like an orange shaped trampoline, had a presence all its own. Toss in boobs that could run for office, and, well…
HELLO DOLLY!
It was puzzling why no one else was as taken with her as I was, then we learned why.
When she turned out of profile it was only then I realized she was a lady of color, a warm shade of cream to be precise.
OOPS!
HONESTLY
SUSANNAH.. DID YOU REALLY THINK DOLLY PARTON WAS RIDING THE UPTOWN LOCAL? 
YUP.
I’D START WEARING MY GLASSES IF I WERE YOU. 
COPY THAT.
SB
Susannah, how I wish you had addressed her as Dolly before realizing your error. That would have been priceless. And I bet she’s probably been called Dolly many times.
I have a cousin whose husband has always looked like Donny Osmond. He’s been asked if he’s Donny since the 70s. I had brief period in the early 70s where I looked like Nancy Sinatra, but was never actually mistaken for her.
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I should have mentioned how tired I was. I mean, it was so ridiculous of me to think it was actually her, though she has been seen around town. She’s very down to earth apparently. I’m never mistaken for anyone…a number two pencil perhaps. 🙂
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I bet you’d be taken for Audrey Hepburn if you were each similar age.
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Maybe from the back…and that’s good enough, right??? 🙂
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SB,
The lines you dish up are so hilariously tasty. “. . . boobs that could run for office,”. I can just see her saying something like “Eyes up here mister, stop gawking at my candidates!”.
You shouldn’t have looked though. As soon as you ‘thought’ you saw Dolly, you should have turned away and left her there, if only in your imagination, forevermore. Dolly riding the train. There’s something peaceful about such a though, don’t know why.
Then again, we wouldn’t have this New York story to read. So never mind. You win. 🙂
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Sometimes I think there is truly something wrong with me. Now, it’s not that it’s so impossible she’d be on the train, but Dale made a point, she’d at least have a bodyguard or 2. Or 10. She and her candidates wouldn’t be so left out in the open, so to speak.
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Oh please Susannah.
I do the same thing, like all the time. I see someone I didn’t really see. And not everyone totes around bodyguards. I think there are a few peeps who are universally loved, and I think Dolly is one of ’em.
Her candidates knock on lots of doors. They make pointed arguments . . . okay I’ll stop.
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They both have my vote. 👍
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Well, to be fair, y’all never know, right? I hear tell she is very down to earth…
That said, she probably would not travel without some kind of posse.
How fun to read this!
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Maybe a squad of men with shit-kickers and tall hats. 🙂
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Ha ha ha! Love it!
😀
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I enjoy your conversations with yourself. Hope you always win. That was amusing that you thought Dolly was on that train.
A friend of daughter Lise was often mistaken for Harry Potter. He had dark hair and dark rimmed glasses.
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See, it happens. Eyes play tricks. Although, there really is only one Dolly. She’s very well, unique?
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Dollywood is only a couple of hours away from us, but we’ve not been there.
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Not exactly Hollywood but I’ll take it. 🙂
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Love this. Ya never know who you’ll see or where. My sis and I were only ones on a shuttle bus in Colorado – sis says Christopher Reeve is said to be in the area…who should get on the bus but Superman himself…minus his cape…with his brother. We had a conversation w/them and two more times that same day he stopped and spoke to us again. Talk about gentlemen…not to mention so handsome you’d pass out. Best sighting of any celebrity ever…and it all happened on a lil ol shuttle bus. Woohoo! Ya’ never know!
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Nice to remember him that way. He was so handsome, you’d pass out. That’s a great story.
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I always wear my glasses for distance. Up close and I am better off without them. I have had many close encounters of the mistaken kind when I don’t wear them! I understand.
Really wish it had been Jessica Alba I thought I saw though.
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She’s quite a looker, that Jessica.
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And very successful. I get to throw that in the faces of those who used to laugh at me for liking her so much.
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Well, you’d be more likely to see her there than most of the places I’ve lived, but that would be something. Now I’m wondering if that woman gets mistaken at a distance for Dolly Parton all the time. 🙂
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Probably not. I was just my tired, ridiculous self who should wear her glasses.
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I got really excited for you. Maybe next time!
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Ya never know. It’s Noo Yawk after all. 🙂
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