I had lunch with my friend Jack and his date, I’ll call Minnie, from Long Island.
Jack, whenever we meet, always asks what I’m reading, so I mention a book on Benjamin Franklin, by Stacy Schiff, I’ve just reread.
Minnie says, “Whoy,'” as she applies more lip gloss she certainly doesn’t need.
“Why? Because he’s so interesting,” I say, trying to just be polite realizing she’s another one of Jack’s dates I know won’t go anywhere, since, he gets bored so easily.
He told me he’s searching for a woman, just like me, but looks like an eternal centerfold. A Minnie, with interests other than sex toys, backseats and what’s on the dessert cart.
A Miss January, who reads.
But back to Ben.
Jack loves when I go on one of my historical rants, so at his urging, I’m off to the Revolutionary Races.
Ben, the eldest Founding Father who famously said to his peers…
We must, indeed, all hang together or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately, caused confusion for Minnie. Even after I urbanned it with…either we hang together or we hang alone, did she say…
“What does that mean?”
“Well, if we hadn’t won our independence from Britain, he along with the other Founding Fathers would have been drawn and quartered, then hanged, for treason.”
“HUH?”
“Their heads would have been cut off and put on spikes, ya know, like those troll erasers you get on pencils?”
“OH!”
After regaining myself, I apologize, but she actually now seems interested after Jack says, she loves slasher films.
“OH!”
Alas, that was the best I could do in the horror department, but then told my favorite Ben story, how in 1788, one of the oldest synagogues in Philadelphia was about to go under, so Ben raised funds to keep it afloat, restoring it, still existing today.
When he died in 1790 at 85, as his funeral cortege solemnly made its way through downtown Philadelphia, the entire Congregation of Mikveh Israel, walked behind his casket in tribute, to show their gratitude.
Minnie, who turns out to be Jewish, is in tears.
“That’s the best story eva’,” she says, sobbing into her Chicken Caesar.
Jack then sweetly hands her a napkin, so she can blow her nose she immediately powders.
P.S. Did I mention Ben sired the first library? 😊
Liberry?
Library. 🙃
Recommended reading. There are many Ben books, but these two are my favorites.
A Great Improvisation: Franklin, France and the Birth of America…Stacy Schiff (2005).
The First American: The Life and Times of Benjamin Franklin…H.W.Brands (2000).
SB
Cheers to Minnie for giving you ample material and entertainment. Hi Suzannah!
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I was thinking about you Frank. You’ve been MIA. Hope you’re well and still rockin’. Missed you! 🙂
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Ah … I’m flattered. I was on blog break.
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We all need a break from social media of any kind.
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I embrace “Blog breaks are good” …. done so for a long time. I return to posting on Tuesday night.
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Excellent. 🙂
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He was an amazing man!
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That’s a great book. She’s a very engaging writer.
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Oh my goodness… there are a lot of Minnies out there, dontcha think? On the bright side, this gives you fodder for a great post. We get to laugh, we get to hear about a great book to read, learn something new from your vast historical knowledge.
It’s win-win!
BTW, I dated a, let’s call him Bubba… I got bored right quick. He thought I was great as he was learning so much… UGH. Would be nice if this worked both ways. I love to learn, too.
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I’m always amazed how history does peek a person’s interest. Jack, for instance, started reading about the Civil War after I was caviling about The Killer Angels that he loved. so now, he’s visiting Battlefields. Why can’t a girl have cleavage and a library card, that’s what I want to know. SIGH
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It does. It can start a whole string of searches.
I think there are girls with cleavages holding a “liberry” card … Their cleavage is just a bit longer….
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I can’t help but to preen knowing I lit the fuse. 🙂
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Preen away!!
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It’s nice to be a positive influence, for once.
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You always are.
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🙂
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SB,
I guess certain men feel as if they’re going to rediscover their youth if they get with someone who still gets carded. The reality is never that promising. Ever. There’s dating a younger woman (a few years younger) and then there’s dating someone who should be hanging out with your daughter and not miss a beat. I’m fine with the former, but the latter ain’t recommended.
I haven’t heard Liberry in forevah! I remember my high school pals saying it, and when I would ask why they were going there they’d tell me to hang out with a chick.
Of course.
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My Polish grandmother always called the bathroom, the liberry because hers sons spent so much time in there reading. I forgot that till just now. sigh
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Hahahaha!
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A tiny memory escaping the file.
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The Orson Welles National Archives, ya mean?
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True. It’s bigger than the both of us.
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So big we had to move!
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And rent 2 apartments.
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Worth it!
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With a pool.
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If we’re talking pools, we really should ask for an exact replica of the Intercontinental Chicago pool. We can put it somewhere inside the archives.
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As they say in AA…I’m all in. 🙂
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Double Woot!
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🙂
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Sounds like Jack is a bit confused with what he finds most attractive or most important in the women he dates. That being said I knew a beautiful woman who was not exactly bright and she married a world-famous neurosurgeon. When asked…by many…why he married her he said he loved her because she was not only beautiful physically but her spirit was also most beautiful and she made him laugh and he didn’t have to do or say anything to impress her he could just be a simple man.
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Well, I don’t know what to say really. Men are attracted to sexy women more than a smart one, this I know. Even at my youngest, I never looked like that. I remember an actor, who actually died quite young, I had a blind date with. When he heard I was a model, he just couldn’t wait to meet me but then was very disappointed. He was expecting Kate Moss and instead got Jackie. Think JFK and Marilyn and it all rings a bell. Thanks
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Maybe evolution has stalled in men.🐈
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Could be, unless you’re Teddy. 🙂
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I wasn’t being vain comparing myself to Jackie, just giving an example.
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It’s so hard to imagine the courage of our forefathers. They had no way of knowing which way the winds would blow. It sounds like your friend Jack is getting just what he wants, regardless of what he says. There are plenty of attractive women out there with a brain. You’re proof of that.
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Skinny, I don’t look like that, even in my sexier days. Minnie’s a showstopper. Men like arm pieces, and sometimes even marry them, but more often than not, it never works out well. Just my experience.
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History is so complex, that I’m sure there’s something there for everyone, including lots for horror fans. 🙂 Nice retelling. I don’t think you could hang out with Minnie for long though.
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I have a weak spot for the Minnies of the world. Part of it is envy since I wish I could flaunt my wares that way, but alas, Connecticut dies hard. Thanks for reading David. You’re such a busy fellow that it never fails to humble me.
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I heard a story that Ben Franklin was really the father of our country as he had many children outside of wedlock. Any truth to that one?
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He did have a common law wife named Deborah Read he didn’t spend much time with, who bore him 2 sons, his eldest, William exiled to Britain not loyal to his father’s cause which must have broken Ben’s heart. He adored his grandsons who traveled quite a bit with him. He was a bon vivant to be sure. The women of Paris flocked to him with his shiny noble head and coonskin cap. The Bill Clinton of his time perhaps, just with a tad more discretion.
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yes, a “tad” more.
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