As we know, the well-to-do love buying things, and that includes the 4-legged they leave behind on weekends since, according to Muffy, Socrates doesn’t do well in the country.
So the maid, they overpay to ease their guilt, stays at their penthouse to feed and walk Socs, as the kids call him, proudly promenading like she’s in a Jamaican parade.
Why get a dog, one you even paid for, no shelter animals for the rich and mighty, might not go with that sectional made of horsehair that turns out, makes you sneeze, in the first place?
But who asked me?
She’s dating a gorgeous goyisha guy she can’t bring home for Rosh Hashanah since her orthodox dad might have a stroke.
Okay, so just don’t bring him, it’s only dinner.
But who asked me?
A guy is siting in his car waiting for a parking spot. He’s aggravated that no one is moving, yelling at his doorman. He’s driving a Jag but doesn’t put it in a monthly parking garage, what’s up with that?
But who asked me?
A rather robust woman in a coffee shop after ordering the $15.99 7 course Early Bird Special, is whining how high her cholesterol is, while her husband, who’s clearly heard it all before, quietly butters bread. As she whines further like a malfunctioning Mattel toy, eating scalloped potatoes sauteed in cream, I so want to say, just so you know, your cholesterol is now doing the tango.
But who asked me?
When I brought up to a friend the last mass shooting in El Paso, Texas and how awful it was to have it happen again, he said, ‘Yeah, and, your point is?”
WTF?
But who asked me? 
SB
👍
~Hal Rubenstein From my iPhone
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Well hello Kate, and how are you? Long time no Howell.
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SB,
Who asked me is a refrain I can definitely relate to!
The lady with the high cholesterol hits me right in the breadbasket (no butter, please . . olive oil). Because don’t we all know this person(s)? Plural. They bitch and moan about how they got red flagged by their doc and now they’re on another med and oh . . hold on, I’m going through the McDonald’s drive thru. Puhleeze! Eat a mango, why dontcha!
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She wouldn’t have even known what a mango was unless it had whipped cream over it. I’m amazed at how much people eat. This dinner kept on comin’ like there was a conveyor belt behind her. I hope she doesn’t end up in the ICU since her heart must already be on a stretcher.
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That’s the thing. When people gain weight, or when their body starts sending them rejection letters, you’d think the common sense thing would be to lose weight, exercise and eat better.
Nope. Why do that when you can pharma the fuck out of it?
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Love the line…starts sending them rejection notices. That’s so funny. Pull that. 🙂
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Pulled it. Filed it. Done. 🙂
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YAY…like finding a gem in sifted sand.
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Says the girl whose two cents is worth a million bucks.
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You’re wooing again. 🤨
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I’ve not the control nor the inclination to fix that either.
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I know. It’s on of your many charming traits. I’m humming the score from Guys and Dolls by the way. 🙂
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Is THAT what’s in the Daily News? 🙂
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FRONT PAGE
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Leave it to a Doll to steal the show! 😉
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Here’s your hat, what’s your hurry.
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You are cheekier than a maternity ward, you know that?
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Love that word. Makes me want to bob my hair and do a mean Charleston.
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Coo coo cachoo!
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Still thinking about death and sudden exits. To quote Allen Ginsberg, just light a candle and keep on dancin’…
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I just wrote that sentiment.
The stars really do listen, SB.
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I’ll go look.
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🙂
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Misunderstood. Though you paid homage to Ric on your site. I see now you were referring to your comment. She must try to stop shooting from the hip, like Annie Oakley.
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You would be a most elegant Annie. Dressed all in black and reworking that whole high noon nonsense.
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With a whip…:)
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That’s when it gets interestinger.
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The rating changed from PG to Parental Guidance Suggested. Ho Ho.
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The rating keeps moving up as if a thermostat in July . . .
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Maybe it took his unexpected exit to appreciate him. Isn’t that always the way.
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Just read a story online about a woman named Ebony in Atlanta stopped by police who was living in her car with her 5 kids. Google it…Jeff would be prime beef for one of your heroes. In my estimation. I’m also here sad over Ric O. passing on. I used to see him with his sons who looked just like him with legs the length of ladders. sigh
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Imma look it up. And Jeff?
Ric O makes it three.
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I had a disturbing day yesterday without specifics. Like I was being trailed somehow, then I saw RO had died and realized on some level I knew. He was in his 7th decade yet I only remember him young and gangly, singing like a sparrow in wacky duds his ears flirting as he sang. He died quietly in the midst of his loved ones, the one saving grace. Rest in piece kind sir.
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There is that sense that follows us, and it comes from somewhere we do not yet comprehend.
The music of the eighties is what I’d take with me to a desert island. And Ric Ocasek’s vocals could surf the moon at twilight, every night until I ran out of ’em.
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I read that people have left flowers in front of their townhouse downtown, and that someone left a vintage car. I just love that.
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A vintage car?
Only in New York . . .
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I know, but wasn’t that the sweetest?
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And cool, don’t forget cool.
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Yes, very cool. Did you read how record sales since he died went up? Seems since his departure The Cars have had a remarkable resurgence. Also, Stephen Colbert was a huge fan and paid him the sweetest tribute. Google it. Made me cry.
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2600 percent!
I just did. Sitting there and having coffee and Ric Fucking Ocasek walks by, and he HAD to move to NYC. LOL. That was beautiful, thanks for mentioning it.
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He was in high school. sigh
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At the end of the disco era and into what I believe was the greatest decade of music.
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I’m sure Frank would agree. I just remember how zany the band was. And they didn’t give a fuck who thought so, plus they always looked as if they were having fun. Then their leader marries this beautiful model and for 28 years has a traditional life mentoring two sons who adored him. He was multi-layered alright. He’ll be waving to us from the ether, no doubt. Godspeed Ric.
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Beautifully put, SB.
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Remember them on MTV? How innovative they were? You had to have confidence to look like that. He was great looking in a Sci-fi way, like someone made him in shop. I just loved how he looked, how they all looked.
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They had a a variety of styles going on, not only in how they looked but in how they made music. It was why they HAD to come out of the eighties, really.
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Those big lapels and NFL shoulder pads. Ties the width of Main Street. Sigh
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I miss that decade. People dressed loudly back then, instead of talking loudly. I’d take the big hair over the current big mouths.
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You said it Pal.
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I remember it well. I of the big hair and two toned leather jacket.
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I remember a girl who used to stash her lipstick 💄 and Maybelline eyebrow pencil in the calve area of her pantyhose. Was considered quite cool at the time. And she only wore black of course. Sigh
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I might have come across a chica or two who did this. 🙂
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It became quite fashionable, in lieu of a handbag. OY
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I didn’t mind it one bit.
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Those packed legs with girlie supplies. Memories.
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Good times.
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G’nite Mr. Imma. Pleasant dreams.
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Back atcha. 🙂
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We were like a coupla owls crooning in a tree. Glad you were up. Sleepless in Manhattan.
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Crooning is already in the file, but Imma put it there again . . all honorary and such.
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Great word. Crooning. All kinds of images come into view. Sinatra. Tony Bennett loosening his tie. Mr. Imma singing in the shower. Ho Ho.
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My shower song is anything by Nat King Cole, Otis Redding or Al Green.
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See, I knew you crooned.
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I’m a crooner from way back. I used to sing when I played football in order so that I would focus on simply catching the ball. I’d get a song and latch onto it and then I’d sing it to myself as I ran my route. Worked to great success.
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I can just see you at The Copa. 😁
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Copacabana, hottest spot north of Havana . . .
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Do you recall the tale when the Yankees, The Mick included, went to the Copa to see Sammy Davis Jr’s late show, and someone made a racist remark and all hell broke loose. It’s told in depth in The Last Boy. Yogi Berra and Billy Martin I believe were among the scrappers.
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I didn’t know what had preceded the fisticuffs, but I knew about the Copa brouhaha. And you bet Billy was there. He’d never miss a throw down.
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I loved him. He was like a bulldog in pinstripes.
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One of a kind, he was.
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I was a fan.
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They don’t write them like him anymore.
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No they don’t.
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PS. Jeff is the policeman who helped Ebony and her kids. It just goes to show how much one can do from the heart to help another. Hence…a Hero.
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You ain’t kidding! Jeff says he was inspired by the words of Maya Angelou, “we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike.”
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I read that. I just love everything she’s ever said.
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A gift, she was.
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My all time fave: When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. How true that is.
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You’re a brave girl, to be able to pick one. I always think about that one where she says that you shouldn’t wear a catcher’s mitt on both hands because you have to throw something back.
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What a wonderful sage she was.
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Sage. Yes, that’s perfect.
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She was so well spoken not to mention well written. Dale quoted her recently…
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
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Maya provided so much to the world in terms of thought, reason and beauty.
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I know. Still resonating from the ether.
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Till the lights go out.
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That’s what I call a legacy, to be remembered for your wisdom.
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You said it all sistah.
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Because I wasn’t asked either, I’ll pass comment. 😉
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Can you be a little more vague Frank? 😳
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I’m with you and Marc. The biggest (um….yeah) whiners about their weight and cholesterol are rarely the ones ordering the salads – and if they do, it’s the Caesar or other super creamy crap). A cousin of my mother’s has diabetes and when he feels like overdoing it, basically, daily, he says he doesn’t have to worry, He just has to take an extra pill. I wanna smack him upside the head.
Why get a dog if you don’t love dogs? That also bugs me.
My son is dating a Muslim Lebanese girl who can’t bring him home to meet her parents because they won’t accept him. She stays here whenever she can. Honestly. I will never get the super religious immigrants who can’t let go. But hey, what do I know?
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It’s the same with statins. You can eat what you want as long as you take them. What’s up with that? But who asked me.
I’m sorry for your cousin. It all blows. It’s so hard to find someone to like, never mind love, that when you do there should be a celebration across the board. But who asked me Dale? Sigh
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I know. Ridiculous.
Yeah, it sucks for Diana to feel that she must hide Aidan from her family. She is free to be at my house, though. Her family is so close-minded. Celebration, indeed!
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How nice of you. I admire your bigheartedness. Truly.
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I am very much a live and let live. Love is love and all that. Truly. These religious doctrines bug the shit out of me.
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Me too. A travesty to love.
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Susannah, I’m asking! I’m asking you for all the snippits you so aptly observe and relay. Luckily, I haven’t known anyone like your first two yahoos. As for the third, there are too many penny-wise/pound-foolish nitwits out there. And the world is overly populated with your fourth example. I confess that I’m in that group. I whine (mostly to myself) about my lack of abs and muscle tone, but only exercise intermittently in spurts of gusto. I’ve learned not to whine to my two younger sisters. They figure that since I’m thin-ish that’s all I need. I feel another exercise spurt coming on! Take me out of that fourth bunch.
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I see and hear so much in my solo travels. My cholesterol was high because of all the sugar I consumed, as thin as I am, so weight isn’t always the issue, it’s 5 packs of sugar in a cup of coffee. I should have just ordered sugar with coffee on the side.
It’s hard to be healthy 24/7. I slip. I’ve said before how I run pass a bakery afraid a cannoli will woo me in.
As for Mr. Cheapskate with his flashy car, there are many in my midst. They complain about everything with a loaf under each arm, as the saying goes, but alas, what can we do Madam Skinny. Right jump rope, left jump rope.
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Maybe somebody should ask you. They would get some good advice…and with a smile I am sure.
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I’ve heard it said. There are 3 kinds of business: My business, your business and what’s not my business. 🙂
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I can answer that my belief in the Law of attraction tells me that all is perfect and even the shootings serve a reason and purpose and work out perfectly. However, I do not even pretend to understand how and they still clutch at my heart and make me happy that I have had no one close to me that has been tragically involved yet.
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Let’s be happy for that.
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I loved this. You’ve got a good comedic sense of timing and observation. True though, there’s so much wrong that could be fixed without too much trouble, but…who asked me?
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That made me laugh. We’re the fixers, you and me. You’re used to administrative duties while I’m just obsessed with law and order if you will. Always cleaning. Trimming. Keeping it simple. I think I was a Shaker in another life. They have a permanent exhibit at the Met of how they live. I always want to climb over the rope and move in. The simplicity so beckoning. Thanks, as always.
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