The word ephemeral is an adjective I’ve shamelessly coined as a noun, meaning, lasting for a short time…fleeting, brief, almost as if you dreamt it.
I’m referring to people who come and go, check in and out of your life as if you were a midtown hotel. 
It’s always mystifying to me, not to mention hurtful.
They say in AA, if you’re bothered by someone’s behavior, it’s merely mirroring yours.
Busted.
Yes, I’ve done it too, took leave unexpectedly, but to defend myself, always with a polite farewell. I don’t make it a practice of flying the coop when one isn’t looking.
One woman who was pretty constant just disappeared. When I reached out to make certain she was okay, and to ask, was I at fault, in an email she said, no, but have never heard from her again.
It’s a shame since I liked her so very much though, I’ll admit, not for very long.
Another lady I’ve known for 30 years also made skid marks after suggesting we look at the good more often. In her 7th decade she has no desire to count her many blessings, so I’ve become the enemy. She even purposely ignored my birthday to make her point. Okay, got it.
Don’t need to be punched twice.
Then there’s that fella I was canoodling with who decided he didn’t have time to care, being a musician and all, traveling, needing his space, space, by the way, I’ve never asked for. I’m often accused of things I’m not guilty of.
He should really think about leaving his ego, the size of a tuba, to science.
Frankly I smell younger gal, blonde, tattooed since this guy, despite his 6th decade, is still a punk, so to speak. Toss in some casual abuse that comes with cleavage and lanky legs and he’s yours, which was something else that I apparently did wrong.
I was kind.
OOPS!
How dull is that, to be loving and thoughtful, generous and understanding to a fault.
I want a bitch who keeps me up at night, in more ways than one.
My friend Camille often reminds me that, make-up sex after a fiery feud, breathes new life into a dynamic duo whose tires may be going flat.
But ya see, I’m more invested in peace these days than warfare, so just to swing from that chandelier, 
one more time, really doesn’t interest me.
Call me crazy. 
SB
Funny. I’m always the one who someone decides to walk out on. At one time I thought maybe the deodorant wasn’t working. No, it was I was nice. “Too gentle to live among wolves,” was the way my second wife put it. I finally decided that I was going to go for nice rather than the other way around. It all finally worked. Those who unexpectantly drop out now are in the “don’t let the screen door hit ya,” category.
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I totally get that. If I have to be mean to keep someone’s interest I’m the one who’s bored. I treat everyone the way I want to be treated, and that’s that. Fuck them John. Really!
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Good advice, Susannah. I agree totally. 😊
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You’re obviously a gentleman John so please excuse my raw parlance. It passionately pops out when I’m striving to make a point.
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My favorite word. Verb, adverb, noun. Fuck has it all.
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My exact sentiments.
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I’m always left dumbfounded when a girlfriend I thought I was close to up and leaves the picture. Sometimes I think I just didn’t see the what’s what. Other times I have to remind myself of Maya Angelou’s quote: “When people tell you who they are, believe them”. A person I thought of friend had told me way back that “she sucked as a friend”. She was right.
As for make-up sex. I never believed in that. Honestly. I am pissed at you, don’t even think of touching me! But that’s me.
And for those looking for nasty or ghosting us because we’re too nice? – fuck ’em.
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That’s exactly what I told John who, also, has been smacked for being nice.
I love that Maya quote but tend to forget it. I’ve finally accepted the fact that many times, people are just passing through. As for make-up sex, my friend Camille is practical and a little ephemeral herself, however, she always comes back for one more curtain call. Life for her, even in her Twilight years, well…she thinks she’s Carrie Bradshaw. Hope she doesn’t read this. 🙂
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Yes, I did see your response to John as I had to scroll down to write my own comment 😉 And I agree with both of you.
I remind myself of that Maya quote every time I am left wondering WTF.
Carrie Bradshaw is a dreamer. Frankly, I would rather be Samantha 😉
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I loved Samantha too, for her naked, no pun intended, honesty. Great show that was.
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Exactly! I think I watched that series a total of three times! In bits and spurts.
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Me too. Loved Carrie being a writer and the narrator. How it had a beginning, middle and an end. Kinda like a play in 3 acts. It was well done, and they took it off the air when it was soaring because, they wanted to leave as winners and not wear the goodness out . Liked that too.
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It really was well done and they dared to take on topics none other would. I used to say that men would learn a thing or two if they dared watch it!
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I loved Mr. Big.
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How could we not? Even when he was being a putz. Aidan wasn’t too bad either. Course, I loved him from Northern Exposure already…
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I see Chris Noth on the street now and then. He’s so not Mr. Big in real life. He rides the train. Looks a little sloppy. Actors. How they transform.
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I have no doubt he is not in real life. And why am I not surprised he is a little sloppy?
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Don’t know since his Mr. Big was so natty and elegant. I loved his scenes with Carrie. Loved when he goes to Paris to get her. Bring our girl back, Miranda had said to him. Cheesy, but I loved it.
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Yessss! It had to be Miranda who said it as she was the most angry at him for allowing her to be “taken” away! I loved it too (obviously)
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We’re saps, but so what. Everyone always listened to Miranda.
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I’m plenty fine with being a sap! And Miranda wasn’t always right…😉
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She’s the one who in the film, scares the hell out of Big which is why he gets cold feet at the altar. I hate that whole scene when Carrie is stood up, even though, he comes back but she’s already gone. I loved the first film. The second one, not so much.
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That she did. And I was so pissed, too. If they had only stuck to their guns instead of getting caught up in all the wedding broubaha. They would have saved themselves so much heartache.
Yeah, the second film was meh.
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There’s one moment I see clearly I loved. He’s chasing her limo that is coming the opposite way. His driver stops so Big can jump out to get Carrie to stop. Who doesn’t…sigh…and a rose falls from Big’s limo onto 5th Avenue. It’s a quick thing but I’ve never forgotten it. It symbolized the look of sadness, self blame and disappointment on his smoldering, sexy, boy did I blow it, face. How’s that for a recap.
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I know exactly that moment. My heart broke a little… I was still pissed at him but felt for him, too.
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I love at the end, when after all that, they get married at City Hall.
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In the original suit dress she had chosen
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I don’t remember that. I remember how when Big flings open the doors, everyone is there to greet them. Love that. Great ending.
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Yep. It struck me.
And yeah, that ending was wow!
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Did i answer this? Sorry if I didn’t. Michael Patrick King is a great writer. I’m sorry the 3rd film didn’t get made, but the second missed with the exception of a couple of scenes, like Miranda and Charlotte sitting at the bar discussing motherhood. Sometimes even greatness loses ground. I think the show had more merit across the board. So many small memorable nuances, like when Carrie meets Aidan again wanting to rekindle their affair and he turns up below her window and screams…YOU BROKE MY HEART. Oh God, did that hit everyone who ever had theirs filleted down the middle.
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No worries. He is indeed! So am I, even if the second was meh. You’re right, there were some moments.
The show was pretty avant-garde.
Oh gosh, yes! That scene with Aidan…
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He was cute, that Aidan. I kinda wished she didn’t you know, cheat on him the way she did. Wasn’t Carrie’s best moment.
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So very cute. And that voice. Oh my…I was not pleased with her at all on this one
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Yeah, he was a hunk. And she went after him. Then she went BIG…so to speak. Bad joke.
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Buahaha!!
Did you ever see Northern Exposure? He was the DJ and so quirky. I adored him.
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Never watched that. I’ve seen him in person though. He’s quite tall. Or maybe just seems it. 🤨
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It’s such a good show. Should you ever be bored and want to binge something. 😉
He’s 6’4″ – my kinda tall 😋
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Wow! Didn’t realize he was that tall.
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Yep!
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Sigh
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This is totally off-topic and I don’t usually do this, but since you are a fan of Zeke, I thought you would enjoy my little ode to him as it is his 10th birthday today!
https://adelectablelife.com/2019/10/08/happy-birthday-zeke/
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I am a Zeke fan. Happy Birthday Zeke…if I had known I would have sent a Poodle jumping out of a cake.
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Too sweet of you!
He woofs his thanks.
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We love a well mannered man. 🙂
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Oh, that we do
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👍
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Through the years, I’ve contacted people out of the blue – sometimes out of concern – other times just because the popped into my head. Then I noticed something hurtful – it seldom happens to me. That bothered me enough that I’ve toned down the unexpected contacts. Is it right? … no …but I feel better about it while also wondering if anyone really cares.
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I think as people age they do care less, bogged down with more fear and worry. That’s my empathic shake on the whole matter. But then again, we live in a fast, new world where humans are very biodegradable to one another. It’s a shame, but we accept the things we cannot change as gracefully as possible. A honed skill. Thanks, as always.
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“… a fast new world where humans are very biodegradable to one another.” Powerfully makes a point!
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It’s sad though Frank, the truth of it. sigh
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PS: Forgot to say that I have high confidence in the fact that “ephemerals” has never appeared on my blog.
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I took a little poetic license there Frank. 🙂
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🙂
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I agree. The days of whine and poses are long since over for yours truly.
After which I became a shameless wanderer who didn’t write checks he couldn’t cash. I realize it’s not romantic, but hey, that’s why I write.
Peace and fuck it
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Didn’t write checks I couldn’t cash…how I love that…goes in the notebook. You channeled Damon Runyon from the ether.
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On your say so, Cat Woman.
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Meow, said she.
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Lithe and cheeky. Potent combination, yanno . . .
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Two exceptional words.
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Classics
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Like Fedoras, dry martinis and pumps.
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This language you speak? I speak it too.
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It’s Chandler’s Thin Man…Nick and Nora puttin’ a little gin in their morning OJ. Rick and Ilsa in Casablanca…”Who are you really, and what were you before? What did you do and what did you think, huh?” “…We said no questions.” sigh
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Ah yes, you’re like me. Borrowing the lines that do not get nearly as much play but are every bit as memorable to writers like us.
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I actually looked it up if you must know. So many great quotes came out of Casablanca. Hard to believe they didn’t have a script and just shot as they went along.
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I fell in love with the classics when I was a boy. It’s how I learned how to woo and coo, truth be told.
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No wonder you’re so good at it. So, Chandler, Hammett, Runyonesque. 😌
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SB dishes up the -esque for the win!
Smooth, lady. Very, very smooth.
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There you go again.
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Yanno, I just can’t help it.
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Hey Susannah, or should I say Crazy, I agree that a dynamite laden relationship is not my cup of tea either. I hope you can find a wonderful Pookie like mine, who is always doing thoughtful little things and appreciative of what you do as well. If anyone deserves a Pookie, you certainly do.
It’s baffling when people suddenly disappear without a fare-thee-well. And it certainly is hard not to take it personally.
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People jump ship. Like the woman who put my blog up for me way back when. 3 times she left. Someone we both know finally said to me, how many times do you need to get smacked before you get, she’s not your friend, just some nut passing through your life. The truth hurt, put as they say in 12 Step…The truth shall set you free, but first it will kick your ass. Pookie…does he have a brother? He’s always sounds like Lancelot to your Guinevere.
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He’s got two brothers, but both are taken. I think I got the best one though.
As confusing as fly-by-nites are, the cling-ons are annoying.
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I guess. It’s all relative, isn’t it? Sigh
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Pretty good, very enjoyable and funny !
Best,
Hal
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You’re an easy laugh Hal, lets face it. 🙂
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Can’t call you crazy, cuz I agree with most all you said. The man was, obviously, nuts. The woman who didn’t want to count her blessings would’ve been left by me after a time. People do leave at times and it, sometimes, hurts us a bit. I try to live by the rule that people come into your lives and leave them to show or to teach you something or to do something to help you. That’s it. So, it doesn’t surprise me, anymore, when people just disappear – though, at times, it still hurts.
Scott
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It’s obviously the recent way of the world, but maybe it was always that way, but as one gets older it becomes more painful, therefore more obvious. A thought.
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Agreed. It hurt as children, too, but we may not remember. I had an actual girlfriend in the 3rd grade. She moved over that summer…I don’t remember being hurt, but I know I was.
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If you still remember after all this time, I’m gonna say it had to hurt.
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Letting go. Doesn’t hurt much now.
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I’m glad.
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🙂
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