It’s not easy being sensitive.
There isn’t a homeless person that escapes my notice, a blind man I don’t see, or a stray cat under a car wishing I could coax home, so it’s no surprise I spotted Andy.
There’s an AA meeting I attend right out of a Steinbeck novel. The still sick and suffering, as down and out drinkers are often called, line the back just to have a safe place where they won’t be asked to leave.
They creep in like mice, clutching a free cup of coffee shyly gleaned from the hospitality table.
Their plight takes your humility out for a spin, which brings me back to Andy.
An ageless, massive man of color, in black sweats and a blinding white T-shirt with a gray hoodie tied to his waist. He’s never without two well stocked duffels neatly packed I imagine holding his few belongings.
The difference between Andy and his brethren is, he’s been sober for 22 years.
He doesn’t participate, rarely raising his hand, seated quietly in the far corner. He asks for nothing, will help put chairs away before disappearing into the wilds of the city.
Is he homeless? Sheltered? Which means, every night he goes to a different one looking for an empty bed. A proud man, who lets you know the way he walks with military bearing, pride means the world.
There’s something about Andy that instills something in me, feeling better when he’s in the room, so when a week went by and I didn’t see him, it concerned me.
After getting an unexpected check that put some extra money in my pocket, I thought I’d share it with some of these men who need a helping hand.
Deciding against cash, I thought better to give Starbucks cards where they could get coffee and have a warm place to be, but the day I showed up, no one was there, except for Andy. There he was in his usual place looking his noble self.
I realized he was the one I really wanted to give something to, but how was I to get him to accept a gift that wasn’t charity, but a true gift of the heart.
I said a prayer, asking God to give me the right words so not to insult him.
At the end of the meeting, I padded over and said, “Hi Andy, I’m really happy to see you.” He nodded, his big brown eyes filled with warmth.
Then the words came.
“Andy, I need you to do me a favor.” He nodded again, letting me know, he’d help if he could.
“I’ve been very worried about you, that you might be cold somewhere, so I’d like to give this to you,” pulling out one of the cards.
“You’d do me such a grace by taking it, so I know, you’ll have a place to go if you need it.”
There was silence as if every sound in the world was turned off. It was then I remembered the bible passage from Mathew…
I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.
I’m not a big Bible reader, but always loved that. You just do what you can, tenderly and sincerely.
Andy finally said, “I don’t care much for Starbucks coffee.”
“But they have other things Andy. Tea, hot chocolate, orange juice, and cake.”
“Cake?” I watched his little boy came out, as he gently took the card from my hand.
“Thank you kindly,” he said.
“No Andy, thank you,” I answered, before ducking into the ladies room for a quick cry.
I can’t say how happy I was that he accepted something so small that could make such a big difference on a cold winter’s day.
I then counted my blessings, including knowing Andy, as I made my way home. 
Susannah
That was a beautiful thing to do, Susannah. I am so glad Andy accepted your gift with grace.
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Me too. It made me feel so happy. I can’t explain exactly why. I hate being cold. I can’t imagine not having a warm place to go. Maybe it’s that simple. It was a long piece. I just couldn’t edit anymore. I tried.
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It truly is that simple. And no, it wasn’t too long. It was just right.
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Thanks. I always feel shorter essays do better. Like Babar. 😊
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It depends. Some stories deserve more space…😊
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But a blog reader’s attention span is short. In and out works better I think. Unless you’re captivating, something I’d never claim to be, at best, they’ll scroll. 🙃
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Well, that is your opinion. Yes, there is too long, but this case was not…
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Well alright. 💪🏻
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Cake wins the day. Well, you won the day first. And Andy too.
I dig it when everybody wins something. You don’t get too many situations like that.
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I’ve heard It said, God bats last, and in this case, he certainly did.
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That’s a great line. 🙂
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Anne Lamott. 👍
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Of course, 😉
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She’s what I call, a screwball sage…funny but on message, like adding root beer to religion.
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Perfect!
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Your words are touchy and your actions are thoughtful.
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‘There but for the grace of God go I’,
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I can’t say this enough … I love your heart! You are a beautiful human being. You are a beacon for what humanity can be. Thank you, Susannah! … thank you!
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My shrink tells me I need to find a way not to feel so much. I truly don’t know if that’s possible. There’s just too much out there you just can’t ignore.
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A huge heart is difficult to control. I smile at yours.
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I’m embarrassed by all the praise because I don’t feel it’s about me really though I’m the storyteller. I’m glad though, I make you smile Frank.
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A great story for the season. I’m glad he took the card. Cake is the best way I can think of to brighten a day. Thank you for sharing this story, Susannah.
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Thank you for reading it.
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The giver is most always as blest as the recipient or more. Especially in cases like this…and you were totally blest, as was Andy. Beautifully given. I like your quote about God bats last…I know one thing for sure, God always wins. I never count Him short or out. Andy sounds like a wonderful gentleman. Well done, Susannah. Oh and I’ve noticed God is a whiz at putting someone in my path that needs something that I have to give…and the giving is beyond joyous…it’s fantastic for everyone involved. Good hunting.
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The St. Francis Prayer for Peace says it all rather nicely.
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You are a blessing, my friend!
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He was a blessing, bringing that out on me.
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I love the way you give from the heart. Because of your example, I’m trying hard to see people in need that are in my sphere. You have an overflowing heart that is truly awe-inspiring.
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Just now I saw a fellow, 30ish, on the street with a cup that said HELP…with a dog with a watch cap on. How does one walk by that? The dog has no idea he’s in a bad situation because as long as he’s with his master, all is well. Just made me so wistful. Happens all day. New York is the hub of you just can’t look the other way. sigh I appreciate your kind words towards me.
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You make my heart ache for others, and that’s a good thing.
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What can you take for it?
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I wouldn’t take anything to lessen the pain. You can probably make up a good name for a medicine that would boost empathy. It’s past 6 pm, and my brain doesn’t work well in the evening.
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I beg to differ, since your brain looks great in black tie and tails. We’ve danced remember. 🙂
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No, I don’t remember. The forgetter works overtime.
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Now I’m stumped.
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There are people, often surprising ones, who bring almost unexpected tears to your eyes. There are certain AGT or BGT episodes that have singers who just make me bawl and I let it and rewatch them. But, I am talking about people you meet, people you take a liking to, and then find out what they are made of. Many of my past troubled students were that way. I would thing of them as problems until I knew them and became a teacher “friend”. They respected me and I respected them. Enough both ways that they, often, told me things they would not tell anyone else. I always said I would keep secrets until the law demanded I say something…and I did….and…they knew that. I am still friends with about a dozen or so…one has died (was shot). I really liked him.
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That’s a nice story. Trusting someone isn’t so easy.
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I, unfortunately, have to agree with that. I have close friends and can only trust that they would not, intentionally, hurt me by telling a secret. Still, they would, most likely, do it under certain circumstances…
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Hard to keep a secret. If you want to keep something unrevealed it needs to be kept under your hat.
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Thank you for sharing this. The human-to-human contact, the struggle between not wanting to hurt or shame and wishing so very much to help and offer something to those we know are just like us, if not for the grace of angels and fortune of things not of us, but of circumstance and privilege and luck.
I’m glad Andy was there.
I’m glad he accepted.
I’m glad you share this city with me.
You’re good people.
Na’ama
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Thank you. There are so many Andys out there.
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Yes. So many. It breaks my heart daily, and so many times in the not-knowing-what-is-best-to-do, too.
I guess we do what we can as we can for whom we can, but it is none of it easy, not if we choose to keep eyes open to the realities that surround us …
Here’s to kindness. For it is the only tolerable way to human.
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I’ll drink to that.
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Susannah, thank you for sharing this. What a wonderful Christmas blessing. You truly embody what this country needs a lot more of … awareness and caring. I hope everyone who reads your story will be inspired, I know I am.
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We aspire to inspire, I’ve heard it said. Thanks Skinny.
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Off topic … but you just popped into my mind so I wanted to say hello and have a good weekend!
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How nice of you to think of me Frank. I really loved Heroes of the Week, this week and it was nice you were mentioned.
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It is a wonderful thing that you did. Here’s to compassion! 🥂😉
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It did more for me since, receiving truly is in the giving. It’s nice hearing from you.
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