Cheap Cheap

No, this is not about chickens with a typo.

I ran into a fella I hadn’t seen as I was coming out of Barnes and Noble, who seemed initially, very happy to see me.

After a pleasantry or two, he says, “I can’t believe you still spend all that money on fuckin’ Christmas cards.”

A direct quote.

I don’t need to tell you he doesn’t send them.

I keep my Connecticut intact admitting, yes I do, guilty as charged, and they’re beautiful to boot, as he knows, being a recipient.

None of these, just had it layin’ around so I’ll force myself to use a stamp, cards for me. To defend it further, it’s a lovely, traditional practice I wish was still in common play.

After I tip-toe around his snark remark, he asks, why I’m in Barnes and Noble so early.

I pause, knowing if I tell him, he’ll lose his mind, but my inner prankster says, play with his parsimony why don’t you Susannah, take Fred Mertz out for a ride.

“Since you’ve asked, I just bought my Christmas cards for next year, half price.”

What a photo-op sadly missed when he says, “That’s a joke, right?”

I pull out three boxes…Santa, angels, and a polar bear ice skating.

He looks as though he was hit over the head. I smile my best, I like ya, even if you can be a bit of an asshole smile, kissing him, French style, on both cheeks.

Take good care Fred.

No I didn’t say that, and just to annoy him, he’ll get a card, maybe even two, next year.




About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
This entry was posted in art, Books, Connecticut, Culture, friendship, humanity, humor, New York City, words, writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

75 Responses to Cheap Cheap

  1. aFrankAngle says:

    Keeping your Connecticut in check has advantages. Well played โ€ฆ and oh my โ€ฆ he should get two next year – one early (right after Thanksgiving) and one late (a few days before Christmas. In the second one, even mention that he was so special that he gets two!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Priceless! Watch out! Susannah is in high form! If only your cameraman had been there recording it all!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dale says:

    I’m sorry but, … what an asshole. It is a lovely practice and I love receiving Christmas cards; this year I sent out none as I’m still a mess of boxes and disorganisation (a piddly-ass excuse, but the truth, nonetheless).
    Nah… not even a one should he get – and when you bump into him next year and he says: “So? None for me this time?” You can tell him you respect his beliefs that it is a waste of money to send them to those who are too rude to receive them…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sorryless says:

    There are times when you show em your Bronx, and there are times when you keep it Connecticut cool. This particular incident was written (pun intended) for the latter. He will take it with him, and too bad really, because they’re going to keep on taxing his ass on the other side.

    You done good SB. Send the bastid two cards . . yeah, I like that.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You played it well. Never pass up such an opportunity …no matter the price.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I think Christmas cards are still a great tradition, if only because they are becoming rarer as is mail in general. Anyway, it’s not all that much money for a once a year tradition. Cheap cheap indeed. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  7. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, a girl after my own heart. I buy cards, paper, and ribbon after Christmas as well. I really lucked out this year, seventy percent off. Of course, such a huge discount needed to be taken full advantage. I bought at least twenty rolls of paper! I can’t stand for a person to get two gifts with the same paper. I also have enough cards for the rest of my life. But as you know, who can resist a box or two of beautiful cards on sale. Maybe Fred?

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I call that smart buying. I would, probably, have trouble finding them in a year, but, if I could, it would be great!


    • I’m not so savvy in most areas though I do like a good thrift shop coming across a hidden treasure or two. I did the card thing last year and it turned out to be a good move. My thrift otherwise, gets short shrift in other words. ๐Ÿ™‚


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