I’m sitting in a cafe writing on a legal pad, when I notice a well-heeled woman staring at me from across the room.
Do I know her from somewhere, I wonder, my memory lately doing the hula.
She starts walking over.
An attractive woman, in her 50s, with jet black hair in a sprayed flip, cascading over a little too much cleavage for 4 in the afternoon. I can’t see what she’s wearing beneath what looks like, a full length beaver coat. I do notice she has on Tod loafers that gleam in the pre-evening light.
“Excuse me,” she says, genuinely apologetic for disturbing me. “I really need to ask you something.”
My essay light pops on as I smile and say, “We haven’t met before, right?”
“No,” she says, looking around like Mata Hari. “I have to go to a party and we’re all supposed to come as someone famous. After seeing you come in, I thought I could go as Audrey.”
I’m speechless, because the whole thing is a bit bizarre, even for me, plus the last person she resembles is Audrey Hepburn.
“Tell me where to go get what you’re wearing,” she says, now sitting across from me.
“Well, I’m only wearing tights and a turtleneck, and flats. Certainly you must have them in your closet.”
This woman looks as if she has 40 closets. You can tell. Her coat alone could pay my rent for a year.
“I don’t. I never wear black for starters. Too funereal. And my butt is just too big for leotards.”
“Then, maybe Audrey is not the best choice,” I say tactfully, ignoring the funeral remark. “Why not go as Marilyn, or how bout Ava. You could pull off a great Ava Gardner.”
Now I’m into it, her new costume ball fashion consultant.
She thinks about this for a second. “I could get my guy to do my hair like hers. Could bring him a picture.”
“Yeah, and you can go to Sephora maybe and get your make-up done, like a 40’s siren.”
“What else do you know?”
That she always wore tight, tight pants, like all the matadors she slept with.”
“She did?”
“Yeah, she was a very sexy lady. She was married to Sinatra remember.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot that.”
After Adrianne and I decide her 20 ply white cashmere Oscar de La Renta sweater will be perfect with skinny leopard pants and hot pink mules, she thanks me, kisses me, then…
picks up my check. 
Only in New York folks.
🙂 SB
You’re wrong, Audrey. It isn’t only in New York, it’s only with Susannah! Your aura must emanate approachability like a beacon.
You can now add costume consultant to your resume. Adrianne certainly came to the right person for advice. I hope you were eating a hefty meal in that café; so lovely of her to pick up your bill.
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It’s a funny story though. I mean, I’m a bit out there, but can’t imagine swanning over to a perfect stranger to grill her about her outfit. Also, you see girls everywhere in tights and flats. It’s like a uniform. You hop in it without much thought. Add a blazer and you could really go anywhere. I got an essay out of it and two lattes, and a big laugh. 🙂
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When I read your stories, I feel like I should smile more when I’m in the city. I tend to keep my head down and avert my eyes, a carryover I think from when I worked there decades ago. It was a different city back then. People were suspicious, wary and always in always in a rush. As an introvert, I think the idea of being somewhat invisible in a crowd appealed to me. But reading your stories makes me want to work on my approachability. Besides, I could use a free latte and new blog material ☺️
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There are so many opportunities, that’s for sure. I must send out some kind of signal, because things like this happen too frequently. Or maybe I troll for them unconsciously. Who knows. Thanks for writing. Always a pleasure Gail.
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You are amazing, helping people at ALL levels! Rich and poor benefit from your wisdom. Wow!! What a story!
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You’re funny. This would probably not happen in Duluth or Omaha.
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The city is your place to shine brightly, because everyone needs some heavenly light. The rich woman was drawn to you, and it was what she sensed in you that made her cross the room. She has treasured your conversation and counted herself lucky to have chatted with you.
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I always oblige even if it is a little unusual. That Audrey look still stops traffic. I’m sure wherever she is she’s smiling.
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I’m sure Audrey would approve of your wearing her mantle.
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Or at least her tights.
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LOL
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Fabulous … Besides, you have a why of telling a story that captures me. Thank you!
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You’re such a sweet talker Frank. 😊
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Hmmmm …. not sure how to respond. (Wink)
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I like your prose as well. Love the baseball series. Like dreams on the page that arrive with ball fields and bleachers.
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Thanks for your kindness. The baseball series was fun to write. One more! … and ballparks is the theme!
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The old Yankee Stadium, Ebbets Field where a sign hangs in memory. R Field. Can’t wait. 😲
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I think you’ll like it … Well, truth be told, I confident you’ll like it – but I’ll still hold on to some doubt.
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Don’t be a doubting Frank. Look what happened to Thomas. There’s no future, or fun, in skepticism. Reminds me of another baseball flick. League of Their Own, when Tom Hanks says…There’s no crying in baseball. That was the film that brought him back from his slump. Trivia, in the 3rd Inning of your series, comin’ up. 🙂
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My margin of error was not taking you for granted. 🙂
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Okay, I’ll accept that. 🙂
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I’m thinking it’s not only a New York thing… it’s a Susannah thing! You must definitely send out invisible signals that attract potential stories to tell… Plus, I am convinced you wear your kindness as comfortably as your Audrey look which only begs people to want to be a part of it.
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You’re right. I always saddle up. It’s that cub reporter I me trolling for a story.
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Some just have that natural knack 😉
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I need a life maybe.
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Maybe this is your life… and it’s not a bad thing.
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That’s a good, practical way of looking at it. ❤️
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I think it’s a pretty cool life, to tell you the truth. Way better to be one who attracts and spreads the joy, dontcha think?
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I’ve been an odd girl my whole life. Why should it stop now. Growing up with crazy parents who raised me like an alien cat. At best. Short of the circus, New York is the only place for me. I attract the unusual. She probably knew I’d help her. How? I don’t know.
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Nothing wrong with being odd. It means you are an original. Sometimes crazy parents give us an ass-backwards gift – we learn how to navigate this crazy world – even if we end up hitting more bumps in the road. We learn to cope, to get help and be empathetic as a result and this oozes out of us unbeknownst to us. You are a gift.
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I have no choice never being a 9 to 5ver
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It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I did it for 30 years and the thought of returning to that makes me wanna gag..
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I meant mentally. I’ve always been one step ahead of those commitment hearings. It’s amazing I’m still afloat. You underestimate your life. I envy it. Husband, kids. Zeke. You’ve had a taste of all that is pure love. My nose is pressed against your window.
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I understand. I was rather blessed. Parents who did well by me. I found a man who loved me with all his heart and gave me three sweet boys, two of which are now annoying adults and one who is hanging out with his father. That old better to have loved… yeah. So I won’t whine about my present situation.
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I didn’t know you lost a son. I’m sorry.
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Yes. It will be 23 years this Friday. Whoa… I hadn’t looked at the date. He would have been 24 this coming May. He was a week shy of 8 months old. Was born with a heart defect.
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I know two other babies that happened to. Must have been heartbreaking. You’ve been through a lot. You have. I’m humbled Dale.
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The human body is so complex, one wonders how come so many are born “not broken”. It’s a tough one, for sure. From the day he was born, I knew I wouldn’t have him for a long time. Mick, on the other hand, was convinced he’d be good as new one day. It’s life, you know? My grandmother was my hero – she raised six kids basically by herself, lost her three sons: one at 17, one at 32 and one at 54… Her mother raised 17 kids, her husband was killed when she still at 14 at home, the year later, her house burned down. Me? I’m just one…
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OH MY GOD. I think you should write about it all. Call it Personal History. Mick makes me think of JFK when he lost Patrick, how he stayed with him the whole time. How he kept saying, he’s a fighter, he’ll make it. Jackie was too sick to be there so he carried the whole thing…for once…on his own. That’s what your share, as they call it in 12 Step, brought up for me. Heartbreaking tale my friend. And your predecessors. Oh my. I bow at their feet, and yours. sigh
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I have and I do, actually. I am creating a book of sorts called “Dear Mick” with all of his (mis)adventures – one per chapter. Plus on the blog I often use him and Austin as my muse.
My share would include laughter – because I can’t help myself.
No bowing at my feet, my friend. I just deal the cards that are dealt and move forward. Some days sluggishly, some days with a hop in my step.
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I’m still humbled by it all.
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I do thank you.
We all have our journeys, eh? No one knows what others have lived through or are living through with just a glance. Writing sure helps keep me sane, tell you what!
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Funny that you said that. I wrote an essay about writing and I said, it keeps you sane. It’s in the batter’s box.
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Great minds…
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What I have left of one.
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Is quite wonderful.
And frankly, as we reach certain ages, we are allowed to let a bit go 😉 They overflow with stuff already.
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Like a messy closet.
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Haha! Yes! Where we discover things as we move others around!
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Like that tuba I never play.
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Hah! That is a rather big item to stow away!
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My attempt at early morning humor.
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Ya done good.
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Sigh
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A gift may be pushing it a little.
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All in how you look at it.
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True. Prospective is everything
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Yes. it is.
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I’ll bet you have lots of sense, fashion or otherwise.
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Oh… I’m not fashionable at all. I wish I was but nah.
Other sense, I might have some 😉
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Common sense is overrated. 🙃
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You got that right!
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i have so little when you come right down to it, the way I engage with so many irregulars, for lack of a better term. New York is home for the unhinged, me being one too at times.
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I think it just makes you more open and accepting. You have shown you do have sense in situations. Who wants to be common, anyway?
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True.
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When you look it up. the word ordinary looms.
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And we both know neither one of us is ordinary!
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Sometimes I wish I were. Then life might be a whole lot easier.
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Maybe so. But maybe we would get bored after a while…
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True.
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The girl doesn’t wear black and she lives in NYC? That’s different.
I love how you didn’t miss a beat and provided her with the 411 to land her ‘role’ in the evening’s festivities. Picking up the check was the least she could do. 🙂
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Too bad I was only drinking coffee. I rarely write outside my house. Funny it happened. I just had an urge for a latte and Le Pain Quotidian makes the best. Plus it’s so pretty inside with stone benches and French bowls it comes in. A little ambiance is good for a girl Mr. Imma. 😙
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Nothing wrong with a good cuppa Joe.
This was a nice twist of fate, to be there when you needed to be. And that place sounds like THE place to get your cup on.
I love me some ambiance. I’ve been known to frequent places where I’m not crazy about the fare, but the mood works.
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Sometimes it does the trick. Refreshes and restores. Starbucks is getting old and losing its charm if it ever had any. This joint costs a little more and they’re all over the city, but it’s worth it.
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I try to stay away from Starbucks as much as possible. We have some really cool coffee shops in our downtown area. I like those when I get down there.
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Yeah, it’s like the Port Authority of coffee joints. Loud, unruly. FILTHY. No one cleans like they’re supposed to, and no one seems to care. Everyone’s on their phone. Le P. Q’s are more civilized. You can’t act like a feral animal in there. They won’t permit it. Let’s here it for boundaries Mr. Imma.
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There are times when I dig gritty and there are times when I need civility, and one thing about NYC . . it’s got it all.
Boundaries are muy importante. If more people respected them, we wouldn’t find ourselves in this bizzarro world.
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True. Google Larry O’Donnell sticking it to CNN. He used to write and produce The West Wing. He’s a gem.
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That’s something you don’t see every day. CNN being called to answer for their support of Trump.
Another part of the problem as far as I see, is that we are tone deaf to this satire by now. We EXPECT it . . since it’s been fed to the public for so many years now. It’s not like Trump was dropped in our laps five minutes ago and we jumped back from the comedy skit he plies.
A too large segment of the population is desensitized to his crap, and he depends on that.
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I’m glad you read it.
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I am middle of the road . . but I can’t disagree with anyone who calls Trump a pathological liar. Hell, Trump gave one of his pep rallies recently in which he basically admitted to Ukraine!
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The part I’ll always find mystifying is, that no one cares in the long run. He just may get to serve another term.
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The indifference is frightening.
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Clinton was the benchmark. No one cared what he did with Monica in the final act, so Trump is another one who can just do what he wants. And it’s being handled so badly, it’s darn right embarrassing. Nancy should be relieved of duty. Her animus is clouding the Constitution that everyone seems to have forgotten about. Just follow the play book. I’m sorry. It’s all so disheartening.
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And it isn’t look any more promising. I cannot believe we are in the election year already . . . .
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Fasten your seatbelts, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.
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Jesus help us.
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He’s had it too.
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So we’re officially screwed.
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Hicks had that great joke about if Jesus came back and found we were all still wearing crosses. I forget the tag but it’s something to the effect that, he’d go right back. I think that applies here and now, don’t ya think Mr. Imma?
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Classic, and so true.
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He must be up there smiling…the two of them.
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I believe you’re right.
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Yeah. Wish Hicks had never left the building. Sigh
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He’s still here thanks to you. Thank you for re-introducing me to his genius.
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Really? You never heard of him before? Wow. I bow then.
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Oh no, I had. You reintroduced me to him though, which I am thankful for.
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I like that better.
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And you’re right, he was ahead of his time.
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Wish I could dial it back, Billy grimacing from the dugout, arms folded, a leg raised. Fans are yelling…Lou, Lou, for Mr. Pinella along with shouts Of…REG-GEE…REG-GEE. Or Mr. October as the Boss, Mr. Steinbrenner liked to call him.
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Remember Reggie Bars?
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Yes, a Babe Ruth spin-off.
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I miss em.
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Weren’t they called Baby Ruths?
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Yes they were indeed.
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Yeah…I’m gonna Google them.
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Coffee and fashion …what a combo. I’m all about good coffee though with no fashion sense.
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I’ll bet you have great style.
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