Maintaining my manners as well as I do, needs commending.
I realize, this is a very trying time for all if us…
there comes a point when even a girl from Connecticut has to draw the line.
As we know, due to the panic over the pandemic (ournew word), people are hoarding groceries as if we were moving into bunkers.
The shelves at Whole Foods and my local grocery store, are empty, though Whole Foods has started to limit various items to two at a time, not 50.
I was in Morris Williams, a very nice doing their best during this, market who had yet to restock their produce from the weekend since, it was like Supermarket Sweep.
Tooling passed the oranges heading towards avocados, none in sight, I then notice one peeking out of grapefruits. As I reach for it, I hear…
“HEY…I SAW THAT FIRST. DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT GRABBING IT.”
I turn around to face who’s threatening me over a fruit…yes, it’s a fruit, not a vegetable, to find a well-heeled woman in a purple running suit glaring at me in such a way, she actually for a second, scared me, but then, Miss Connecticut crossed the New York State Line and said…
“IS THERE SOMEONE BEHIND ME? BECAUSE YOU CAN’T POSSIBLY BE TALKING TO ME.!”
I saw her deflate, just a hair, clearly not expecting to be called out on her insanity, the only way to describe her tone of voice that could have unnerved Iran, but quickly gathered herself and said…
“I’M TALKING TO YOU, AND I SAW THAT AVOCADO FIRST.”
As an aside, I couldn’t write this, and we must remember the stress the whole virus business has caused the nation, including Mrs. Guacamole who because of it, requires sedation.
I pause, take a breath and think…omigod, look at her, with all her means she’s about to stab me over a 4 dollar fucking avocado.
We now have an audience since our voices could have broken the sound barrier.
Then I hear Gandhi whisper…be the change you wanna see Susannah since, all these people are watching to see what you’re gonna do.
SHIT…I HATE WHEN THIS HAPPENS.
So I go right up to her face, chest to chest, even though hers was bigger, placing it in her cart.
“Madam, you seem to need this much more than I do.”
Cut to the check-out line.
Another woman approaches, hands me an avocado and says, “I have a spare,” as if we were bowling.
I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves.
My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.