Loose Avocado…Aisle 4

Maintaining my manners as well as I do, needs commending.

I realize, this is a very trying time for all if us…

BUT…

there comes a point when even a girl from Connecticut has to draw the line.

As we know, due to the panic over the pandemic (our new word), people are hoarding groceries as if we were moving into bunkers.

The shelves at Whole Foods and my local grocery store, are empty, though Whole Foods has started to limit various items to two at a time, not 50.

I was in Morris Williams, a very nice doing their best during this, market who had yet to restock their produce from the weekend since, it was like Supermarket Sweep.

Tooling passed the oranges heading towards avocados, none in sight, I then notice one peeking out of grapefruits. As I reach for it, I hear…

“HEY…I SAW THAT FIRST. DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT GRABBING IT.”

I turn around to face who’s threatening me over a fruit…yes, it’s a fruit, not a vegetable, to find a well-heeled woman in a purple running suit glaring at me in such a way, she actually for a second, scared me, but then, Miss Connecticut crossed the New York State Line and said…

“IS THERE SOMEONE BEHIND ME?  BECAUSE YOU CAN’T POSSIBLY BE TALKING TO ME.!”

I saw her deflate, just a hair, clearly not expecting to be called out on her insanity, the only way to describe her tone of voice that could have unnerved Iran, but quickly gathered herself and said…

“I’M TALKING TO YOU, AND I SAW THAT AVOCADO FIRST.”

As an aside, I couldn’t write this, and we must remember the stress the whole virus business has caused the nation, including Mrs. Guacamole who because of it, requires sedation.

I pause, take a breath and think…omigod, look at her, with all her means she’s about to stab me over a 4 dollar fucking avocado.

We now have an audience since our voices could have broken the sound barrier.

Then I hear Gandhi whisper…be the change you wanna see Susannah since, all these people are watching to see what you’re gonna do.

SHIT…I HATE WHEN THIS HAPPENS.

So I go right up to her face, chest to chest, even though hers was bigger, placing it in her cart.

“Madam, you seem to need this much more than I do.”

Cut to the check-out line.

Another woman approaches, hands me an avocado and says, “I have a spare,” as if we were bowling. images.jpeg

Connecticut, she’s hard to shake.

SB       istockphoto-165692914-612x612.jpg

About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in Connecticut, Culture, food, humanity, humor, New York City, women, words and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

48 Responses to Loose Avocado…Aisle 4

  1. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, you were the change. The rudenik was exposed and you promoted the sharing of an avacado stash. Now, if we could just get a block of butter and TP.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ll tell ya Skinny, fear is an ugly thing when it’s transformed into action. She was one haughty lady, who doesn’t seem to get what’s really going on. Generosity should be in the house, not guacamole for one.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Susannah, you are astounding! Kudos to you for graciousness in the face of lethal selfishness. You didn’t STRIKE back!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. A terrific put down, Susannah. I can’t imagine where people get the idea that they are so special. Thank you to that woman who gave you the avocado. She recognized a bully when she witnessed one. Thanks for sharing.

    Like

  4. Eilene Lyon says:

    Great response, Susannah! You are a saint, really. And where did you come up with that avocado illustration?! It’s good to recognize that some people’s bad behavior is a stress response to this unusual situation.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. kingmidget says:

    The world has gone mad … over an avocado. As I saw somebody else say … we are seeing both the best and worst of humanity during this thing.

    The interesting thing to me is that our grocery stores have been well-stocked and, in particular, things like fresh fruits and vegetables. Every once in awhile, something is missing from the shelves, but for the most part every grocery store I’ve been in over the last week or two has been fine.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You’ve very lucky. Here it’s showdown in produce and paper products. Humanity at its worse did you say? Piggish to the point of pathetic. sgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • kingmidget says:

        Yes. The paper products aisles are definitely a problem here also. At the beginning of the week, I went to the grocery store and made a list of things that were gone – almost entirely dried goods and canned goods. Dried beans, rice, refried beans, canned corn (but not other canned vegetables), Skippy peanut butter (but not other brands), Krusteaz pancake mix (but not other brands), bags of frozen chicken breasts. But fresh produce and fresh meat? Not a problem at all. And it has remained that way since. If I thought there was going to be shortages, I’d be buying all the fresh stuff I could so I could eat healthy and well as long as possible. So much of this makes no sense except for the existence of panic-driven herd mentality.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Peanut Butter will be selling on the hot market, or EBAY, for 300 bucks a jar. sigh

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Sorryless says:

    Now I’m craving guacamole, so it’s a good thing I have some avocados. . .

    Like

    • I like it too. Who thought it would be right up there with caviar, price wise, and availability. Next, some guy named Big Al will be selling nickel bags.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Sorryless says:

        I made a delicious spicy guac with veggie tortilla chips. Better than caviar . . . since I don’t have any caviar.

        Like

      • I’ve never been a caviar girl, an acquired taste, but I could eat salmon and shrimp all day, the crab that I am. Guac, even the color, is very appealing. I prefer mine with just lemon, no garlic, on Pita chips. Now we’re comparing recipes like on the Food Network.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Sorryless says:

        I could too.
        I use lime in my recipe, because I love lime in so many of my recipes. I bought these delicious veggie flavored tortilla chips that I won’t even use for it because the chips alone are so delicious, seemed a luxury to pair em.

        If we were on the Food Network, we would have to gush over our respective dishes and talk about how “super easy” it was to make.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Dale says:

    Nothing like the panic of a pandemic to bring out the worst in people. I’m not saying she would have been any nicer had there not been said situation – coz I’m sure she would still be the cow anyway. I probably would have slam-dunked it into her basket, ensuring it be bruised and barely useable… but you are nicer than me…
    Kudos to the lady who saw very clearly and shared her stash with you.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Vegetables are the best…and get sort of wild at times too.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. aFrankAngle says:

    Very well played. The lady offering you an avocado while in line was the surprise part of the story for me. A perfect ending. Thanks for the smile. Hang in there!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Law of Attraction can even have manners. Both got what you wanted and the other lady gets to feel good about herself.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Vasca says:

    Love, love this episode. And the Mad Cow was stuck in her pile of shit. I know 800 polite cows who once were my neighbors…nice girls all. I got this from a friend today “God got mad at all our fighting down here and sent us all to our rooms.” Yeah, why not? As someone else commented about times like this…bring out the best and the worst in humanity. It shouldn’t be that way but it is. It’s up to those of us who refuse to lower ourselves to the ‘dirtbag level’; you did it beautifully rather than giving her an avocado quickie facial. Woohoo! You did the right thing and Jesus probably applauded. As for your writing being flat…nah, nah. Here’s a quote from my fav Maya Angelou “The idea is to write so that people hear it
    and it slides through the brain
    and goes straight to the heart”.
    Susannah, I love to write and this is my goal…to write as she described it…my goal.
    From my heart…straight to yours, Vasca

    Like

  12. Being the better person is great revenge, if nothing else, but glad you got one in the end. These days are crazy. The stores here are mostly stocked, although certain things get wiped out fast. Hopefully this passes quickly.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Faith over fear is the call of the day. Thank you for taking time to read my blog I keep manning. It’s comforting. Perhaps you could post an essay too. Talk about your trip, post one of your pictures. A thought. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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