I feel as if I’m doing time.

Whenever I manage a modicum of peace, another cement shoe falls.

We’ve been sheltered-in-place here in the state of New York that apparently, is in quite a state with more residents coming down with the Coronavirus at the speed of light.

Our Governor, to his credit, tried everything before realizing, there was no other choice, and I respect him for it, even though I’m more uncomfortable than I’ve ever been in my own skin, wondering how we got here.

What I do know is, we’ve been greatly humbled.

I’m not religious, but do believe in a power greater than myself, and God had to do something big to get our attention, and he certainly has.

A week ago I was mewling over my library closing. Now, everything that’s not considered essential, is closed,  Madison Avenue looking like an abandoned film set, stores all dark bearing the same sign…


We hang onto the word temporarily like a piece of driftwood bobbing in the water.

Two weeks ago, plastic bags were eliminated from many stores, the Upper East Side frantic, not caring there was a reason for it.

Global Warming has been one of the many things we arrogants have not taken seriously. Who cares about the polar bear sitting on an ice cube, or those tropical storms leveling homes, as long as it’s not mine. And we can’t leave out the birds, who never got the memo, but what do ya mean, no more plastic bags charging a nickel for a paper one?

We’ve taken selfishness to new heights, so what was God going to do, his children even too smug to be prepared.

Ventilators, just in case? Please, I’m too busy thinking only of me, not my fellow man who may, one day, have trouble breathing.

As I wrote to Marc (, it’s like the White Star Line not providing enough lifeboats on the Titanic, the balls on those men, the size of that iceberg.

Governor Cuomo said, he’s got people in China right now, searching for ventilators. Why weren’t they searching before? I know, a moot question but, hey…I’m practically under house arrest in the company of canned goods, so we do ponder what preceded these uncharted events.

At night, when I crawl into bed, I’m grateful to have gotten through another scary day. I rest, I read, I pray that the world as we’ve known it, will come back to life, as the sun rises in the east.

I promised God, who’s heard it all before, that we’ll do better and to please give us a another chance.

I’m waiting to hear back.  Unknown-2.jpeg



About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
This entry was posted in Culture, Faith, grace, Gratitude, humanity, inspiration, nature, New York City, Politics, words, writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

39 Responses to Pandammit

  1. skinnyuz2b says:

    The medical shortages are hard to understand. Pookie has diabetes and couldn’t get the sterilized wipes for a week. Luckily, our drugstore finally got some in and held a large pack for him and others in medical need.
    The hardest part for me is not being able to hug my grandchildren. The 6 and 3 yr old came over for air hugs yesterday. Wearing masks, they stood at the far end of the breezeway while we stood in the mudroom. Just seeing their little faces gave me a lift. We always give them ‘parting gifts’ of lollypops, cake, clementines, mini-muffins, etc. when they come to see us each week. Their parting gifts were left on a chair in the breezeway.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. And still, the arrogance of the human condition rears its ugly head. The #$%^@$*ing Congress can’t pull its collective head out of wherever it’s stuck to take on this serious problem without petty politics. After this is over, we need to vote all of them out. Unfortunately, Quomo hoped the feds would help. He was caught flat-footed when told to take care of his own problem. Stay strong and healthy, Susannah. We need to be here when this is over. If only to help drive out the incompetents

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sorryless says:


    I think God might be a quart low himself right about now. He’s had to hire extra help for all the requests coming into his hotline. I’d like to think there is a menu for those who call. The ones who are calling to bitch about the lack of TP and hand sanitizers . . they get to listen to Bieber Muzak . . . for hours.


  4. Dale says:

    I’m thinking this is all of us being sent to our rooms until we listen to what we are being told. Yeah, it’s hard to be forced to stay home, other than taking a walk for fresh air and exercise, being sure to stay away from others doing the same… We don’t like to be told what to do and we certainly don’t like restrictions. Too bad, so sad. Unlike all previous plagues, we have way more ability to communicate with each other via our cell phones, Skype, Facetime or whatever. We can feel a lot less isolated by talking face to face miles apart.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ah! You do have a bit worse than we have it here, and it is very difficult for all of the outdoorsy types here to deal with what we DO have. I, too, read a bit from Cuomo (sp?) last night and I admire him for what he said and did…I could, maybe, here the word “future president” from him (I know, he didn’t say it, but…).
    I will write what I am going through now with Mom. And FB and I will, most likely, be at odds for awhile or many of my casual friends, anyway. I kind a called them out on spreading virus rumors. I was very tire of all that. Really? Can’t we just all get along and not spread rumors just to feel good we said that?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. described it purdy good, you have! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Suggested: instead of blaming God—thank God it isn’t as bad here as it is in say…Italy! God is still good and loves us—but how much have we been ignoring Him-? Just a thought 😀 Those who love God are especially loved by God and cared for—using even times like this to help them grow in faith and maturity, like a loving Heavenly father–or any earthly father-would want for children he loved!


  8. Vasca says:

    Blink and there’s a new wrinkle. I replied earlier but I think in all the pandemonium it was shredded. I’ve finished a Clementine and heading for la-la land. This day is put to rest and several really wonderful events took place.


    • It happens. I get complaints. Some woman stopped speaking to me because she said I deleted her from my blog. Of course I didn’t, but once in a while, if you’re a long time follower, wordpress for whatever reason, deletes and you need to reup. Anyway…a Clementine sounds good.


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