Thank God for humor, and I don’t say that lightly.
Where would we be if we couldn’t laugh at the absurd and the outrageous?
The world is upside down, with us trying our best to hold on. Accepting the things we cannot change, would be a mighty big help, but clearly not on Manhattan’s Upper East Side.
Fruit Cart…corner of Lex and 86th
The essential fruit man is being berated by a woman in what looks to be a Louis Vuitton mask who, if so, Louis didn’t waste much time, who’s demanding he wipe off her apples before putting them into a bag.
The man, masked, gloved, with eyes so bloodshot from working all night that can barely stay open, looks at her helplessly.
Part of it is, and I can lecture on this, he can’t hear what she’s asking, language getting lost, mask to mask.
I only heard her because mine was strategically on so I can hear more than most, already having hearing difficulties.
Joan of Bark rides to the rescue.
“Madam, you don’t realize, he can’t hear you in his mask.”
She says, “Well it looks like you heard me.”
“Mine isn’t on as tightly as his.”
She jumps back like we’re suddenly playing hopscotch.
“YOU’RE NOT OBEYING THE RULES THEN. I’M GOING TO REPORT YOU!!!”
Now the fruit man who’d go to the chair for me since, I’m his when I can’t sleep, midnight coffee connection, steps between us, grabs her apples right out of her arms and says…
“YOU GO! YOU NOW GET FRUIT, FAIRWAY. NO MORE HERE!!!”
Kurt Vonnegut couldn’t have written this.
Now we have a crowd watching.
Mrs. Ass-tor forgets all about me and starts yelling at him, demanding her apples back, that he refuses to give her.
My hero, in plastic,
But here’s the best part.
On cue, a cop pulls up to see what all the commotion is about. When this woman tells him about her apple issue, his expression stays the same. He looks at her, then me, before calmly reaching across the dash of his police car for change, saying to fruit man, pointing at an apple…
“Give me one of those.”
The woman, stunned, shakes her head kinda like Daffy Duck, and stomps off.
New York has seen it all folks, from Draft Riots to blackouts, to crumbing skyscrapers, keeping her eye on what’s important.
How bout them apples?
“Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning do to do afterward.” ― Kurt Vonnegut
I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves.
My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.