I’m in line at Whole Foods, 7 a.m. sharp.
Those of us, 55 and over get to shop before the store opens at 8.
We’re patiently standing on our marks, 6 feet apart on heavy strips of gaffer’s tape they’ve laid onto the sidewalk in front of the store.
Masked and bagged, we amble up, like a breadline, while a security guard lets 8 people in at a time.
When it’s my turn he looks at me and says, “Excuse me, may I see your ID?”
I’m startled, since as far as I can see, I’m the only one he’s asked.
“Do you think I’m not old enough?”
“I just wanna be sure,” he says.
“Really? I say, as if I just won the car. “Really?” I say again.
The woman behind me says, “Oh for crying out loud, hurry up. Show him your damned license already.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, “I’m just excited that he thinks I’m younger.”
“Well nobody’s gettin’ any younger, standin’ in this line.”
The security guard looks at me and says, “I’m sorry Miss, it’s okay, you can go right in.”
“You called me Miss?” I say, smiling like a Rose Bowl Queen, “you just made my day, my year even.”
I smile at the woman behind me, now whirling passed, who shakes her head and says, “Next time I’ll make sure I’m in front’a you.”
Miss, still on her white cloud says, “Okay, see ya then. Have a nice day,” scampering up the escalator like a gushing 16 year-old. 
SB 🙂
Proof, like I said, you’ve still got it.
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Takes so little to woo a girl. I did have a mask on so, you have to wonder how he spotted my youthful glow…a joke…of course, I slip my mask on and off discreetly but…no matter. I got an essay out of it. 🙂
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Perhaps he mistook you for Catwoman?
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That could be. Will ask him when I see him again.
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Yes, you little gamine, did he call you Audrey? Unexpected compliments like that resonate for a long time. You should bring him a cookie next time you go, ha ha!
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I thought the woman behind me was going to kill him. Poor guy who you know, does not want to be the one doing that. Essential workers deserve more respect than fruit and produce. But tell that to the Upper East Side. sigh
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She was steamed because she was probably never got asked for her ID by anyone except airport personnel, ha ha!
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When the bells went off going through security. 🙂
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Good Morning, Miss. Thanks for the morning smile.
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Miss thanks you. 🙂
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Keep smiling!
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You too.
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Thanks … True most of the time
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Your wife is fortunate then.
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👍
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Priceless!!
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With a COUPON.
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Trying to REDEEM us?
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In this wordplay, You will no doubt be DEEMed the winner.
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SAVING the best till last?
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Okay, just CHECKING.
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I’ll look under the emBANKment while you are checking.
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Hope you won’t be aLOAN.
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Good one!
I’m INTERESTed in being with others.
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If IRA you, I’d throw a party.
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We’d need MORE GAUGES to calculate costs for a party, wouldn’t we?
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LESS is MORE, so that would be my ESTIMATE.
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Not bring very bank-minded, I will cede this thread to you.
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OH…you’re just being polite, the irony being, I’m not a rich girl so what do I really know about banking either.
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Maybe we’d better go from banking to begging. I know ahead of time, you’ll beg to differ. MINDY CAN’T stand to watch people beg.
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Oh well, BEGgars can’t be choosers.
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Granddad keeps at it. GrandPAU PERseveres.
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As well as he should, PER SE.
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Now how could that NOT make your day? And Mrs. Sourpuss is just a jealous cranky old bat. Goes with that whole women should uplift each other instead of crushing each other.
Stay up on that cloud, Susannah! The lining is particularly silvery today!
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It burst by the time I got to 86th Street, but that’s okay. Compare it to popping a bottle of champagne that then, goes flat. Love the term, sourpuss. 🙂
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The important thing is you got the bubbles in the first place, I say.
It is a favourite expression in my familiy 😉
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My father used to use it. Must be an old time name. It’s funny.
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My father used it too! (That’s where I got it from…)
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Maybe they knew each other.
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In that other realm? Maybe… It’s a small world here, who knows up there? (or down.)
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Wild times in the ether. A great title.
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Great title for your next book!
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I was kidding. I do like the word ether a lot. Go figure.
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So do I….
And why not? It would make for a great title,
It’s got a je ne sais quoi that will grab the attention of the passersby!
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I like the idea of our loved ones, mingling in it…like a big cocktail party on a cloud. 🙂
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I do, too. 🙂
Lemme tell you, there is a serious party going on with Mick and Brenda and Pat and Patrick (all people my age, by the way) and… way too many, now that I think of it.
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Maybe Bill’s there too. Entertaining. 🙂
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I should think so. Fun people would naturally be attracted to each other 😉
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I would think they’d all be staying at the same hotel. 🙂
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I should think so, too…
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The Ritz. 🙂
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Might be too fancy – but then again, why not?
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There’s nothing like a good hotel. I’m bettin it’s that way in the ether too. A 5 STAR MINIBAR and a ROSE ON YOUR PILLOW.
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Oh yeah. You have a point. Nothing is better than a good hotel… Mmm hmmm…
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I always say, if I suddenly came into serious money, I wouldn’t buy a beach house or country home. I’d just stay at the best hotels much more often. There’s nothing like it.
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Amen!
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Congratulations on winning the lottery!!!
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Well, I’m simple folk remember. Doesn’t take much to put a smile on my face.
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WooHoo…that’s enough to put squiggle in your wiggle. A girl can float a long time on those lines! Way to go Miss. Charming.
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My wiggle’s a bit out of practice.
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A delightful experience, Susannah. We all need those sometimes. 😁
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I agree. It lightens and brightens, even if it’s only for a few minutes.
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I have to tell you about my age related item. This was the first time I realized I looked a little older. I was waiting for a meeting to begin so I popped into a McDonalds for a cup of coffee. I ordered a cup and the person behind the register yelled out “One senior coffee.” I knew I was dead meat.
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That just made me laugh. I knew I was dead meat. That’s great John. It’s so freeing to make fun of ourselves. It’s acceptance with a grin. 🙂
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That was 14 years ago. So I have a good run of laughing at myself. 😁
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Great line.
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😁
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SB
This is where I would say something along the lines of “You still got it sistah”. But for the fact that uh uh . . nope. You didn’t lose it in the first place! 🙂
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Let’s just say it’s dusty.
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Fashion might go out of style, and politics too. But gals? Never.
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Thank goodness for some things that stay the same.
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🙂
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This one’s so good I laughed all through, then shared it with hubby and laughed all through again as I read it out loud. Even better the second time!
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Nothing like allowing your stupidity to show, vanity grabbing the wheel. Hey, I don’t get compliments anymore so the mere aroma of one is big Eilene. I MEAN HUGE. LOL
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Once upon a time, I explained to my husband why he should always address a woman as miss, not ma’am. He took it to heart and hasn’t regretted it.
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The M word can make or break a girl, that’s for sure. I can deal with Madam much better than Ma’am. Ageism. It blows Eileen, pardon my urbanese.
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In similar situations, my response is often: “No, I am really younger than I look.” The clerks have to stop and think…and then we all laugh.
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Will remember that. 🙂
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That guys a smooth talker. 🙂 I’m always happy when people think I’m in my 30s.
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You’re such a baby David. I’m surprised they let in anywhere without a parent. 🙂
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Haha. 🙂
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Hahaha! I wasn’t carded when I was a minor. Somehow being tall at 18 meant you were 21. Now, if I need an antihistamine, a minor is carding me.
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