It’s no secret I love Kurt Vonnegut, and feel as if we’re forever friends.
Sometimes we discuss things, especially writing dilemmas. 
But he’s pretty good with life’s problems too, like when my feelings get hurt by some random shun.
He too was very sensitive, helping me up off the mat, offering his spectral hankie.
I’ve been walking a lot since the onset of my singular social life, so I went to visit his longtime home in Turtle Bay.
Where I’d normally respectfully, stand across the street, this time I boldly sat on the steps almost as if he invited me to.
You see, that was where he more or else, breathed his last, the day he tripped over his beloved dog, Flour’s leash, hitting his head. 
I thought about that as I sat there, deciding it was a good way to go when he left the planet on April 11th, 2007 at age 84, as if he simply laid down for an eternal nap.
It might have even been his idea, to go and not stick around. I’ve heard this theory so often that sometimes you’re given the choice, that I’ve begun believing it.
He was struggling in his later years, in an unhappy marriage, living isolated on the third floor of the house, its steps I now graced.
He also felt unappreciated as a writer, something that pains me since, so many of us are Kurt fans.
In any event, I sat and thought of him wondering what I’d do if someone came out in protest.
I was fully prepared to defend my stay, declaring homage to a man who deserved it, but never had to.
I then, mask in place, hands shoved in my jeans, walked home as if Kurt was strolling beside me. 
And so it goes.
PS He was sexy, wasn’t he?
Oh don’t be modest Kurt, you were!!!
SB 🙂
Kindred spirits are hard to come by. I bet he really is flitting around you now and then. I wish you could have known him while alive.
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Me too. The funny thing is, it would have been such an easy alliance to make since, he apparently was so approachable. Timing is everything Skinny, and alas, I’ve missed many opportunities in my lifetime. Thanks.
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We’d all be rich materially mentally, and socially if we could grab those missed opportunities. We need to be thankful for those we didn’t miss.
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That’s true. I will rearrange my thinking on that Madam Sage. 🙂
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Sagebrush like a tumbleweed, ha ha!
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You’re so wise, you teacher you. 🙂
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Your memory lane is a cityscape! I’ll bet lots of people wish that were spelled city-escape.
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Please forgive me, I can’t play today. You’re much too savvy for me. Thanks though, for reading my scribbles.
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Didn’t intend to hit the send button. I can see that my comment appears to make light of your mood. I did not intend that. I was sitting on those steps remembering with you. I will try to be more sensitive in future.
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No, no, not all that serious. I’m just feeling inadequate as a writer today. It happens, like a sudden flu. No apology necessary.
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Come out and play another day. I’ll wait.
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Surely his heart was warmed by your visit sitting on his steps. How could he miss your sweetness? No way. Beautiful thoughts, Susannah. Kindred spirits are wonderful communicators…truly we are! Thanks for the visit. Hugs ‘n Love ro help keep your light glowing.
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I wish he were still here.
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I understand.
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I’m sure you do. 🙂
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I’ve often thought about how people get to a point where they just know it’s time to leave. And the thing about it is, it’s all inside when the person truly hurts. So no one sees it until after. I hate to think Vonnegut was one of those stories, but I wouldn’t be surprised. There are so many.
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I read a bio on him that really enlightened his whole being. The war years, adopting his sister’s kids after she died. Living with all the memories that, even though went into one of the greatest books of all time…Slaughterhouse, he was a tormented man. Makes me sad, but then I get it. We all are in one way or another. Thanks for reading it. Like I just told John, very few have.
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It’s that torment, like ivy. It has a relentless creep to it.
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Great metaphor.
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All too true
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Unmoored. My new favorite word.
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In the file . . .
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That file must look like Orson Wells.
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It is getting rather portly now that you mention it
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Portly…always loved that word ever since McCullough used it to describe John Quincy Adams. He was portly…drab in dress. 🙂
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It was hard wrought elegance he penned there.
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Do you have a copy if The American Spirit? One of my favorite essays is in it…Simon Willard’s Clock, about John Quincy and the Statuary Hall. The line I believe comes from there. 🙂
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I’ve not read it. But I do believe you’re sparked a memory for me. A friend of mine, his father was a clock repairman. Do those even exist any longer?
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Well, that clock is still tickin at the U.S Capitol. That’s a great book. All his speeches at colleges and even Congress who invited him to speak. It’s small. You’d love it. It’s the very best of Mr. McCullough.
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Sold
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🙂
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I can’t imagine that Kurt would have grounds to doubt writing ability. Of course, I do that every day and it becomes a feeling of despair that a perch on Kurt’s steps would help. I envy the fact that you can. I wish Kurt was here as well. Thanks for the stroll to Turtle Bay.
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I’m glad you appreciated John, since I know you’re a Kurt fan. It went flat, like cheap champagne. Oh well, Kurt as well as Taitts, are an acquired taste. And so it goes. sigh
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Indeed. 😊
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FYI…liked the Lewis and Clarke post a lot. 🙂
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Thank you, Susannah. That means a lot coming from a history junkie. 😊
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That’s a perfect way to describe me. I eat it for breakfast. 🙂
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I’ve always wanted to ask. Do you take your history junk with milk, cream or neither?
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I like it straight 🙂
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hahahahaha. 😁
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You asked for that. 🙂
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You are so right. Felt good though.
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Teasin ya John. 🙂
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I know. 😁
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🙂
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I sometimes feel like such an illiterate. Somehow, I have not (yet) Vonnegut. It’s starting to feel downright blasphemous. It is wonderful that you feel such a connection and can actually plant your hiney on the very steps he walked up and down. While I like to think we can choose when we go, I hate to think it is because we are tormented. Such is not the case with so many greats, however. Sadly.
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You read all the time, and there’s so much to choose from. Yes, I was in another realm sitting on those steps. I kept looking up at the 3rd floor windows expecting to see him peering out. I just got a chill. Thanks for reading it.
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Woke up thinking about you. You are so far from illiterate. I gave a little 120 page Lamott book to a 50 year old woman who couldn’t get through it…she said. I JUST DON’T READ. Dale, you read The defense rests.
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Well now. How sweet is that? No, I know I am not illiterate; that I read. I sometimes feel like maybe I didn’t read the good stuff – yet!!
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The good stuff is very subjective. I say potato, you say, patato. 🙂
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True ’nuff. And the joys of being in the blogosphere is the suggestions we get from fellow writers on what to read. So there is that.
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I so love to read. I’m rereading for the 3rd time, Belgravia. Julian Fellowes who wrote Downton Abbey, wrote it. It’s so great. Historical fiction with romance, intrigue and well…I’ll leave it at that. 🙂
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I do, too. But for the past couple of years, I’m feeling the takeover of all the blog reading has hampered my desire to sit with a book (more like the guilt that I’ve already spent so much time reading – I swear, I must read the equivalent of a novel per day) that I feel I should get off my arse and do something else!
Course a house takes up way too much time. Especially with two kids (adults or not) who disrupt!
That book sounds right up my alley! See? Yet another to add to my three Mile long list!
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It opens up on the eve of the Battle of Waterloo at The Duchess of Richmond’s ball right before all these young march into eternity since many won’t come home. But the story laced in, well, you’d love it. It’s so well written with all the opulence of the rich and titled. I just love all that. And as far as blogs go, don’t read many for that very reason. I know I’d have more readers but, so be it. You’re nicer than I am. 🙂
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Mmmm! That’s it. Added to my wish list!
Meh. The numbers I have are in large part, bots, and members of groups like Friday Fictioneers. And there’s the rub. If I write one, I’ll read ’em all (I’m that dumb.) Some weeks there are over 70 friggen stories… Time suck is what it is.
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I did a couple of those via David who suggested I do. I had all these people reading my blog only if i read them. Big turn off for me. I’d rather have 5 people who simply like how I write then 50 who just want me to hit their like button. Makes no sense to me, and being the reader I am, it’s pointless to be phony. Back to Belgravia. 🙂
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I read those who respond to my comment without expecting them to read mine, to be honest. If I leave you a comment and you don’t respond? I stop reading you. What’s the point of telling you I like your story if you can’t simply say thanks, or at least leave a like?
And yes, there are a LOT out there just looking for their likes. Too bad, so sad…
I’m with you, on that one.
Enjoy your reading!!
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Give my regards to Zeke. You haven’t mentioned him. Maybe he’s away. 🙂
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Will do. He’s not feeling well. He has a pretty bad cold that I was hoping would be gone by now… I’m giving it a couple more days before I bring him to the vet…
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He’s sensitive and probably is affected same as we are by the bizarre vibes we’re enduring. Keep me posted. Me a Zeke fan, I am.
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And he’s an older gent so, yeah, must be affected.
Will do.
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AWE!!!!
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You made me smile with this one because I know your heart was smiling as you were sitting on the steps.
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He’s my Elvis.
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