The fact that I’m resembling Elvis has become a concern, so when I get a surprise call from my hairdresser at midnight, I’m overjoyed.
“What are ya doin?” he asks.
“I’m in bed, awake, after falling asleep after lunch, and you?”
“Up for a color and a cut?”
“Well I’m up. Will ya take a check?”
“Cash only.”
Which is why I’m at the all night ATM hummin’ a happy tune.
I tell my doorman who’s like Dillinger in a uniform, who I’m expecting.
“Mums the word,” he says, in islandese so it comes out more like, Mooms the word.
15 minutes later.
Chagall shows up as if we’re doing espionage, giving me a strong urge to put on a trench coat.
He snakes in, looks both ways, mask in place like he’s about to raid the safe, lugging in a huge bag filled with what I can only call, female essentials, proceeding to mow my head like the lawn, using an electric razor I so hope doesn’t wake the building,
There’s so much hair on my floor, I’m thinking of crocheting a toup for a friend.
Then he washes that gray right outta my hair in the kitchen sink, and though now in a neck brace, look a whole lot better, despite it being a little short.
How short?
Like I’ve enlisted in the Wacs, that sounds rather apt, doesn’t it?
As Chagall is about to leave, Dillinger covertly asks, “Hey, could you give me a trim?”
And he does, right there on the sidewalk. 
Only in New York folks. Only in New York.
SB
As you say, “Only in New York!”
It’s in my head now, “Gonna wash that man right outta my hair.”. And you washed out the gray!
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South Pacific, by the way, is one of my favorite plays. Ya know why? Nellie Forbush had short hair. 🙂
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And now you are short of hair.
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Hair today, gone tomorrow.
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They’ll look at you all dressed up and say, “Hirsute is marvelous.”
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Bearded as it may.
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I MUSTACHE that away in my memory.
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GOOD ONE…TOUPEE!!!
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Your SIDE BURNS more puns than mine.
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Will try not to upBRAID you.
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If you upbraid me, our SPLIT ENDS much later than you think.
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You do tend to COLOR things.
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I will DYErect you to go home PERManently.
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I’ll try not to BOB and WEAVE.
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We’ll CUT through the LAYERS to get to the bottom of everything.
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I know you’ll ZIP through it all, watching your CREW CUT to the core.
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Good one! I wouldn’t have thought of that.
I fell FLAT. TOP that!
Surely there aren’t any more!
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So you’re going to leave me, STRANDed?
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Shall we flip for the PONY? TAILS you win.
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Okay, don’t want to get all WIGGY on ya.
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Did we use strand yet? Mea culpa if we did.
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You are asking on old person to remember something in short term memory??
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That makes 2 of us.
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Now I’m humming that song! Nice ditty for the morning.
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🙂
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Pookie is like an elephant with a long memory and still won’t let me near his curly hair again. He looks like a mountain man.
My own tresses are approaching Rapunzel length (slight exaggeration). I’ll be prepared if I get locked in a tower.
I’m glad you got a surprise coif refreshing. It puts a spring in your step.
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I can just see your grandchildren climbing up those strands, rather than steps. I feel as if my haircut was from the black market…and underground do, if you will. Hey, I’ll take it.
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Wow, Susannah you’re one lucky girl…mine hasn’t been this long in I can’t remember when but it’s growing on me!!! Really! So far the silver is barely peeking out from under the cover…any day now it’s sure to make a big show! Presently it’s playing peek-a-boo in my bangs! These days we have to take stuff whenever and wherever it’s available. Love things only in New York. Hugs!
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The results of my midnight coif aren’t exactly show stopping, but at least I can slick it back with oil. I smell a bit like a salad, which seems to be the least of my problems.
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I was expecting some before and after pictures.
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I’m too vain.
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Booooooooo
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I looked like a buffalo. A girl has her pride ya know.
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No way in hell you looked like a buffalo – don’t even try/
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Trust me. Not my best look.
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We are always our harshest critics ..
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I know I’m easy, but this would crack up even the sourest of pusses. A good laugh and a thank you. 😁
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Where would any of us be without our sense of humor?
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In Dyer’s straight jacket.
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Well put.
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😁
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A friend of mine, who wears her hair short like you, had an encounter with her hairdresser on the down-low as well… However, she decided fuck it. She was done with the colouring. It was shorn really short so that it wouldn’t look like she was growing it out, so to speak. Looks fab on her and she said she’s never going back.
I am still considering whether or not to leave my streak that has appeared. It’s not all over grey (yet). Something tells me that I am thisclose to hiding it again, though. Dunno. I look at the three-inch growth and think… maybe, Could I pull off the Stacey London look? Even if mine is wider than hers?
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There’s a woman I see with hair as dark as yours with a white streak across her brow I thought she had done. Nope. It’s natural and looks pretty great.
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Still considering it… Not off the table. Yet
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There’s no hurry.
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Unless I need to go in a job interview…
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You might look real chic.
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When it’s no longer looking like I’m just lazy and not taking care ..
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It’s hard not to have a slip self-care wise during this. One has to be vigilant. I haven’t worn make-up in weeks, then wonder why when I see my reflection, get depressed. Need to do better. Powder and mascara, comin’ up.
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It is true. I haven’t worn make-up in months. No mascara – which is usually the least I do (I have a stye in each eye, would you believe it.)
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You inspired me to put some on. I look rather snazzy for 11 a.m. 🙂
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Beauty! Rock It, lovely lady!
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I’ve cut my own mop twice, imposed by lock-down and my usual dresser’s broken wrist. It’s not great but still better than turning out like an ageing hippy.
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Maybe you missed your calling. You could cut hair on the side. Especially now. You’d make a fortune.
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You wouldn’t be saying that if you’d seen me! 😉
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I’ve seen worse, I’m sure. My haircut wasn’t exactly state of the art. He was so nervous that I’m lucky I still had ears, and forget the color. Now I’m somewhat of a redhead. Lucy move over. I’ll tell ya. It’s getting to be more Bladerunner every day.
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I go back and forth on the hair thing. I seem to have enjoyed a third act with my hair, which was very unexpected but much appreciated. Thing is, I need to cut it . . . as I am not a conductor for the philharmonic. And as such, I’ve deliberated as to whether I will cut it . . . or cut it ALL off. Decisions . . decisions!
As for your New York story, it’s nice to see its funky, unpredictable heart beat is still kicking in such funky, fabulous ways.
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as I am not a conductor for the philharmonic….so funny.
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I just had to . .
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They do say, conductors have healthy hearts. All that arm swing.
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They’ve got quite the softball team, from what I hear . . .
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That would make a great story, a stealth hairdresser that breaks curfew. I loved this.
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You should write it. It’s right up your alley. Could be the follow-up to those ringing Telemarketers. 🙂
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I’ll let you know if I do, definitely. 🙂
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