Is She Nuts?

YES!!!

One can say, she, meaning me, has been slightly acting out during her prison stay, my inner-devil making impromptu appearances….for instance.

A Purell Dispenser has been installed in the lobby. A nice touch, until a sign was added…

PLEASE ONLY USE ON THE WAY IN

Refusing to be rationed for hand sanitizer, I slyly removed the sign, flipped it over and in a not so elegant hand wrote…

FUCK YOU…and put it back.

HO-HO, to quote Hunter Thompson I heard clap from the ether.

On my way to the drug store to get my heroin refilled, a woman, walking her Bichon with pink ribbons in its hair, said, “You’re looking awfully thin.”

I said, “And you, are looking awfully fat.”

We then have, who I refer to as the Geisha on 5 kept by a tall Swede with unclipped nose hair, who’s been leaving her wet garbage in the hall over night as if Fred Sanford has moved in.

I asked her to please not do that.

I then asked the super to ask her, to please not do that.

He said, what are you so worried about, this is a high end building.

I said, tell that to the rat who will be snacking on that paella she threw out.

When it graced the hall once again, I took the bag, turned it upside down scattering its contents in front of her door…bones, orange peels, tea bags…

ET-CET-ER-A ….and went on my merry way.

Later in the day…KNOCK KNOCK

Susannah, do you know anything about the garbage that was in front of 3A’s door?

You mean the garbage she leaves out all night, every night…that garbage?

Hmm, no…but I smell a rat.      thumbnail-2

Is she nuts?

YES!!!

About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in animals, Culture, food, humor, New York City, words, writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to Is She Nuts?

  1. Prison is heating up! Yes, she’s nuts alright. The nut is PIStachio. She’s pissed off, you see.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. skinnyuz2b says:

    I would say you showed great patience. Sooner or later that last straw, the one that breaks your back, gets added to the load. Rather that a trouble making, I see your actions as justified mischief.
    Is the garbage still feeding the rat?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think I hear just a squeak in the hinge rather than full out off-hook. Say what you want; all those actions made me feel better. I hope you do too. (By the way, who leaves wet garbage anywhere. She’s lucky not to be shot, which should be the punishment du jour.

    Like

    • You said it. When you consider there are more rats than people in New York City, it’s kind of a no-brainer. I have been acting out, I have. Writing about it, admitting my mischief, has lessened the guilt. June 13th is now the get out of jail day, but we’ll see. Thanks John.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Do you remember the people who used to paint their faces red and walk down the streets yelling unintelleagable things? (maybe they are still there I don’t know) That could be the gage of being over the top, Hold on till the 13th. Keep the red paint handy in case the date is pushed out. 😁

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’d love to paint my face, but it would interfere with my mask. I just came in from watching protesters march along Fifth screaming, police brutality. And many of them weren’t wearing masks. It made me feel less nuts sprinkling garbage like smelly rose petals. sigh

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hahahaha. I’m laughing at the vision of you holding your nose while sowing the egg shells of discontent. (and trying not to step in your handiwork.)

        Liked by 1 person

      • I was just beside myself that she had such flagrant gall, having no consideration for her neighbors. Toss in the super who was about as effective as a dead body, and well…DEFCON 5. Hey, could have been a 1. she got off easy.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Vasca says:

    Well…the Purell thing is ludicrous…rent isn’t cheap and as he said, “It is the high end, ‘ya know”. Then the management can surely afford its’ residents to use it both coming and going or going and coming? Bah…humbug!!! It isn’t safe to throw words around when referring to weight…every woman should know that at an early age. These are the times that try all souls…did I just hear a hearty Amen? Ah, yes I did. Behave now! As if

    Like

    • What people don’t realize, pointing out someone’s thinness is the same as commenting on someone else’s weight. Thought accustomed to it, and it’s always from someone chubby it seems, timing is everything. I will more than likely apologize next time we meet.

      Yes, all souls, tried but true. Thomas Paine wasn’t just whistlin’ Dixie.

      Like

  5. robprice59 says:

    Susannah Vigilante has an ominous ring to it.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hahaha … all I can imagine is you saying, is “Hold My Beer!” or maybe a Martinie

    Like

  7. Flipping the sign over made me laugh. I guess the New Yorker reputation for being feisty is accurate. 🙂 I don’t blame you for being aggravated at the woman leaving garbage out. That’s just disgusting. It’ll get flies, if not rats and other vermin.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.