One can say, she, meaning me, has been slightly acting out during her prison stay, my inner-devil making impromptu appearances….for instance.
A Purell Dispenser has been installed in the lobby. A nice touch, until a sign was added…
PLEASE ONLY USE ON THE WAY IN
Refusing to be rationed for hand sanitizer, I slyly removed the sign, flipped it over and in a not so elegant hand wrote…
FUCK YOU…and put it back.
HO-HO, to quote Hunter Thompson I heard clap from the ether.
On my way to the drug store to get my heroin refilled, a woman, walking her Bichon with pink ribbons in its hair, said, “You’re looking awfully thin.”
I said, “And you, are looking awfully fat.”
We then have, who I refer to as the Geisha on 5 kept by a tall Swede with unclipped nose hair, who’s been leaving her wet garbage in the hall over night as if Fred Sanford has moved in.
I asked her to please not do that.
I then asked the super to ask her, to please not do that.
He said, what are you so worried about, this is a high end building.
I said, tell that to the rat who will be snacking on that paella she threw out.
When it graced the hall once again, I took the bag, turned it upside down scattering its contents in front of her door…bones, orange peels, tea bags…
ET-CET-ER-A ….and went on my merry way.
Later in the day…KNOCK KNOCK
Susannah, do you know anything about the garbage that was in front of 3A’s door?
You mean the garbage she leaves out all night, every night…that garbage?
Hmm, no…but I smell a rat.
Is she nuts?