It was my birthday, and a friend presented me with a massive bouquet of multicolored gladiolas with stems, almost as tall as me.
I’m from Connecticut, so I can’t show my irritation since, one pink rose would have done it, so instead, politely ooh and ah, blush and gush, tossing them in a cab.
No, not on their own, but I thought about it, not remotely having a vase that big.
Plus, they’re my least favorite flower, famous at Italian funerals where men with too much Brylcreem in their hair and pinkie rings, send them.
When I get off at my corner, my fruit man says…
“OHH, DOES ARE VEDDY BEEG FLOWAZ.”
“Yes, they sure are Fruity,” my nickname for him.
Suddenly a woman walking two miniature poodles with rhinestone collars that look better than I do, starts speaking to me through her zebra mask, me thinking she’s lecturing because my mask, at this point, is dangling around my neck.
I put the gladdies down, pull it up, apologizing since the last thing this sweaty girl needs is a dress-down from a zebra.
She whips off her mask like Zorro and says…
“Nooo, I am saying what BEU-TU-FUL flowers they are. Glod-iolas…my faveadites, and those. Oh my, where ever did you get those?”
I, knowing opportunity when it knocks, say, “They’re your favorites, really? Have you a 7 foot vase by any chance?”
“Sevedal,” she says.
I say, “THEY’RE YOURS!!!”
“Oh no, you mustn’t. They are much to spoctacular to give away.”
“Yes well, it’s my birthday, and it would please me… BELIEVE ME…to give them to you.”
I watch her accept them like a swaddling infant, her poodles watching almost in tears as their mistress thanks me in sevedal different dialects.
When I turn to leave, Fruity is standing behind me, holding a bag.
“HOPPY BIRDDAY,” he says, presenting it like the Noble Peace Prize.
When I peek in and see plums, I smile and think…this is more like it since, I do have the perfect bowl.
I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves.
My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.