What I Don’t Get

Posted on October 11, 2020 by Susannah Bianchi

Pink hair, for instance.

A girl I know dyes her hair the color of canned ham, camera ready, as if it had its make-up done. Alright, so she’s no Grace Kelly, but why make matters worse, shooting your hair in the foot?

And no, I’ve never asked her why since, it could put her up on a roof, with an Uzi.

Babies with cell phones, a topic that irks Midget even more than me. When did Babar get sacked from pre-school, replaced by an Android? It wouldn’t be so bad if the kid was at least watching Looney Tunes instead of CNN, but who asked me? Do you think it might bother mom if his first word is Trump, instead of Mama?

I’m beating this to death, I know, but those who don’t read leave me perplexed especially when they say, they’re bored.

What a f–king surprise that is. A guy I know, mewls about all the women he courts, who never want a second date.

He’s handsome, has a few bucks in his pocket and always arrives with flowers, but if you ask him what’s new, the guy looks stunned. I so get it. If it were me, I’d make skid marks before the main course.

NEXT!!!

People who preen over everything they do, writers especially. When do they have time to write when they’re always on their Facebook page talking about it?

Couples who fight like cats and dogs, staying in a relationship that no longer, reaps fruit, turmoil breeding. Haven’t they heard, life’s short? Peace and love trumps who gets the lawnmower?

Dog owners who never walk their dogs, hiring Tom, Dick and Henrietta to do it for them at 40 bucks a half hour. Yup, that’s the going rate on the old, overpriced, Upper East Side. Then they wonder why the pup wants nothing to do with them, cleaning their privates in preference to playing a little catch with…and who are you again?

But the big winner of the day…

the wrinkles on my face that appeared overnight.

When did I start looking like the map of Delaware? Have I trick mirrors, unbeknownst to me allowing me to think, I was still somewhat of a beauty? Well I was, without sounding haughty. It’s how I made my living after all. If this is karma, I do think she’s hitting below the chin.

What I really don’t get is, that person looking back at me in the mirror…

WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?

WHO LET HER IN ???  

SB 

About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in animals, Beauty, Books, creative writing, Culture, humanity, humor, kids, New York City, readng, words, writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

54 Responses to What I Don’t Get

  1. robprice59 says:
    October 11, 2020 at 5:15 am

    I’m with you on the pink hair. How can unnatural be beautiful? But don’t ever tell me wrinkles are ugly. Just not so!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  2. skinnyuz2b says:
    October 11, 2020 at 6:41 am

    Susannah, I agree wholeheartedly with every one of your peeves. But I have to admit that if I was a teen or young twenty I’d probably try blue hair. Not to sound ageist, I’m bewildered by those over 40 with colored hair. It’s akin to wearing a mini dress beyond your time.
    As for the old person we see in our mirrors, I think they are reflections of the future us, not the present. Like an old Twilight episode.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. aFrankAngle says:
    October 11, 2020 at 7:12 am

    Don’t be hard on yourself. Embrace aging! But you may be onto something regarding hair coloring products. Maybe these company should embrace colors as “Pink Ham”. Hi SB.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  4. John W. Howell says:
    October 11, 2020 at 8:37 am

    The line about writers writing about what they are writing about struck a cord. Every time I see that happen I want to ask the writer, “Who do you think gives a flying fuck about your angst in the writing realm?” I know the answer, of course, no body. Yet they continue to do it. Makes me gag. Hair, wrinkles, people in relationships that should end, and dog walkers are the unanswered questions of life. It is fun to keep asking though. Desi and Lucy tomorrow.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  5. Rubenstein, Hal says:
    October 11, 2020 at 8:54 am

    Riled up this morning! Γ°ΒŸΒ‘Β

    Best,
    Hal

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  6. kingmidget says:
    October 11, 2020 at 9:26 am

    I think I’m with you on just about all of these.

    Pink hair … I’ll go a step further. The people (mostly women) whose hair is pink one month, blue the next, blonde the next, black the next, etc. I’m a big believer in one’s natural hair color. πŸ˜‰ Even when it involves turning gray. Embrace the gray!!!

    Don’t get me started on kids with smart phones. Just absolutely drives me crazy.

    People preening … I don’t see much of it on FB, but yes, on Twitter, there is a writing “community” that is filled with people who tweet their every step in the process, along with the whines and complaints and the cheers and accomplishments. It gets pretty tiresome.

    Dog owners … who not only don’t walk their own dogs, but haven’t been trained with them. Dog owners who don’t keep their dogs on a leash when out and about. Grrrrrrrrrr….

    As with the gray, embrace the wrinkles!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  7. Dale says:
    October 11, 2020 at 11:28 am

    The crazy hair colour thing, I get not (nor care). I put it on the live and let live chart.
    Writers bitching about their writing drives me up the wall – like their whining is going to get them encouragement from the outside… John said it perfectly πŸ˜‰
    Dog owners – what in the hell is the point of getting a dog if you are not going to take care of it? They could have gone to loving homes instead of yours!
    And I’m a cruel mom. The boys wanted cell phones? When you can afford it, buddy… Coz Mama ain’t buying you one. I can’t understand children in elementary school with phones. I can barely understand them in high school.
    Handsome only gets you in the door… if you’ve nothing to say? Buh-bye.
    As for the staying in a relationship that no longer works? I know too many and when they start to complain, I stop ’em. Don’t want to hear about it. Your choice, your misery. Do not drag me into it!
    Good grief! My comment is almost as long as your post. Apologies…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Susannah Bianchi says:
      October 11, 2020 at 12:17 pm

      I loved this. It’s like we were on a panel…The Cyber View.

      Dogs in the city are often treated like cars that stay in the overpriced garage. They just don’t want to be bothered unless it’s all about them. I see it all the time, and because of the casual narcissism, dog walkers are buying houses in the Catskills.

      And yes, just shut up and write, get your hands on a nice copy of Good Dog Carl, stop dying your hair the color of ice cream cones, and try not to be just another pretty face. Oh yeah…if it’s over, and there’s no more life there….pull the damned plug.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  8. Sorryless says:
    October 11, 2020 at 2:10 pm

    I don’t even notice the hair colors any longer, they’re just so common.

    As for social media, it’s where adults go to behave like kids. There’s young at heart and then there’s whatever the hell is going on with that stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  9. Gavin and Wyatt says:
    October 12, 2020 at 12:03 pm

    As a guy with very little hair…I guess the idea is have fun.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  10. David Stewart says:
    October 12, 2020 at 10:06 pm

    Somewhere out there is a pink-haired writer who has dogs she never sees, a baby who is being raised by her cellphone and who spends all her time on social media and yelling at her husband, the anti-Susannah. πŸ™‚ I don’t understand the people who pay others to take care of their things, such as walking their dogs. If you have too much stuff that you don’t have time to take care of it, you might have too much stuff, I say. Great post, as always.
    yf

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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