When A Heart Truly Opens
Instead, my heart and I just kept on going.ย ย
This entry was posted in alcohol, Culture, friendship, grace, Gratitude, humanity, inspiration, New York City, words, writing and tagged generosity, Giving from the heart, panhandlers, Sober living. Bookmark the permalink.
You’re right. You have to feel it to give it. And the reasons matter not to anyone else but you. How they ask (or not) is as important as why you give.
The way I see it, if you feel right in the giving, then it is the right thing to do.
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Exactly! Guilt giving produces no fruit. Thanks, as always. Your comments are always insightful. ๐
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WATCH THIS…David sent it in a comment. Show Zeke ๐ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-VosRQT0do
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I love those stories!
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After I watched it, I sat through a good ten others giggling like a kid. So cute and funny.
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๐
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I don’t know about you, but I need a laugh every chance I get.
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Ohhhhhh yeahhhh
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I’d even pay for one. ๐
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Yeah
Our comedy clubs were opened and then reclosed after our numbers soared. Not that I felt like going into such a place yet, anyway…
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A friend of mine owns one and is chomping at the bit. I pray he can hold on, but seems to be a no-brainer, huge groups, escalating numbers. I know it’s moot, but how did this happen?
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Same with my friend. It’s completely nuts this thing we are living in.
Yeah, I am just no inclined to go out there into groups yet (other than the funeral of my son’s best friend – who was like an extra kid of mine. I still am in denial/shock. 22 years old)
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Was he sick? So sorry.
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No. Horrible drowning accident. So very sad.
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WOW!!! That’s terrible.
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So strong and an excellent swimmer. They are still waiting for the autopsy but suspect it was what is called “Shallow Water Blackout” – even if it was in a deep lake. Mostly happens to divers and strong swimmers who pass out under water.
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His poor parents. You are not to suppose to outlive your kids. How’s your son taking it.
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Yes. Poor them. I feel so much for them. My son had a really hard time with it but, like his mother, has learnt to deal with this type of stuff..
I tell you… watching him and his five friends as pall bearers just about ripped my heart out.
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I’ll bet. This is when they’ll shed their boyhood much too early. Loss changes you as you, better than anyone, know. I was never the same after Bill died. It was as if he took my innocence with him. Your heart gets filled down the middle, like a trout. I’m sorry again. Made me sad. Made me thoughtful.
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It does… His second friend. Well, the first wasn’t a close one like this. But when he was 18. And that was two years after his father. Their resilience is building. Sigh.
We shall focus on the beautiful day! After a day of rain, the sun is here.
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Here too. Checking out WW asap. Just came in.
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Woo hoo!
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Well, yes…
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Please correct my typo on WW…I meant…Title. sigh
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Did you? Lemme go fix that up for ya.
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I hate lookin’ like a stooge. Of course, Hemingway had the worst spelling on the planet, as did F. Scott Fitzgerald, but I still feel like I belong in the corner, with gum on my nose.
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I so totally feel ya! No worries. Been fixed. A lot of writers are crap at grammar and spelling – thank goodness for editors.
No gum on no nose
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If I was a sassier sort, it wouldn’t bother me so much. Sometimes my innate humility can be a detriment.
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We are who wee are ๐
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Yes wee are. ๐
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๐ Ooops…
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It truly doesn’t. I have 20 bucks to a guy once who was frazzled (I can’t remember the whys). Mick told me he thought I was nuts and being had (surprising as he was very generous). I replied I was good with giving it.
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Your karma wouldn’t be the one tainted anyway. You gave in good faith, it’s the scoundrel, if indeed he was scamming, who’d pay the piper, no pun intended. Sometimes it’s hard to tell. I always say thanks for being in a better position. I just can’t imagine standing on a street corner or jumping from a doorway. OY
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That’s what I figured. I still believe he was in need, so I’m good. But yeah, it is hard to tell. And no, neither could I. OY squared!
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I remember my late, great friend Jackie, one time got snookered by a woman with little kids, she found out was a scammer, and I’ll always remember what she said…My heart opened for what I thought was a worthy cause, and the woman asking, had her reasons. How’s that for nobleness?
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That is exactly it, isn’t it? She made a choice to give and the reasons for the other one asking are secondary, in the end. Of course, we’re not talking huge amounts of money – that would be a whole ‘nother ballgame!
Like me, you didn’t sleep much?
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I was up reading a great book. I don’t fight insomnia anymore, I give it its due. I finally fella sleep for an hour but, it’s okay. Still got up and ran. ๐
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What a contrast! Thank you for writing that. I never thought about the difference between a person in genuine need who wouldn’t ask for help and one who is a shakedown artist.
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Love, shakedown artist. Good name. It’s very common I’m sorry to say. You know instinctively who really needs help opposed to the professional panhandler. I always look at their sneakers. Most of the time they outrank mine. We try not to judge but sometimes, you can’t help it.
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You have to judge! Otherwise you’d be overwhelmed all the time. That’s a wonderful clue — checking the condition of the sneakers.
We were walking in Rome near the Vatican when a car stopped at the curb. A man and young girl got out. He put a little dirt on her face and pulled her clothes askew. She whimpered, but he left her there to beg.
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Apparently there’s a syndicate like that here too. They perch you on a corner, or by a subway entrance, and come get you at the end of tke day, take what you have in your coffee can, giving you a place to sleep with some food. I heard that from a reliable source and never forgot it. It’s just chilling to me.
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Horrendous!
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Yeah…a good word for a bad situation.
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Susannah, I envy your ability to say the right thing. If there is a wrong thing to say, it finds its way out through my lips.
On a positive note, this stupid virus has forced many families to become closer. Unforunately it has also distanced our connection to our outer circle. Thank heavens you haven’t let it stop you.
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I pray a lot Skinny, and where kindness is concerned, feel God has my back, even if it sounds lame to some. I have friends that I haven’t seen in months who won’t come near me because I’m out so much. I’m careful, I am, but rational in my actions. Fear has power, and I choose faith to temper it.
I’m always so grateful that you still, after all this time, read what I write. It humbles me Skinny, it really does. ๐
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I read what you write because you are an engaging and interesting writer Susannah. Never doubt it.
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I’m pawing the ground with my foot Skinny. Thanks.
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Exactly … I worked in downtown Sacramento for the last 22 years. There are many homeless down there. Many of them I saw regularly for years. Like you, there were some that reached into me and plucked my strings. Others, though, just left me cold.
There is a “homeless” newspaper in town. I’m not sure who actually publishes it, but once a week, they have homeless people on corners selling copies for $1. There was one guy who was regularly right outside of the building I worked in. He was very quiet and humble and never got in anybody’s face. I made a point of giving him a dollar or two every now and then. But I never gave money to any of the other newspaper pushers.
And as for the rest of the panhandling homeless, I occasionally gave but not very often. It just had to be the right person at the right moment. But the loud and the brash and the entitled stood no chance with me.
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Plucked my strings…love that Midget, says it all. Your heart swings open, never has to be pried. ๐
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Great story, Susannah. I used to hate those pushy panhandlers. Reminded me of the time I was on Park Avenue one night walking along deep in thought. A guy came out of nowhere and asked if I could spare some money for a ride back to Connecticut (you know, well dressed, lost wallet and train pass scam) I said sorry not carrying money. Got to the corner and three other guys came out of nowhere and said, “If you don’t have money for him. How about us?” I had to give them a second take since I was dumbfounded. I answered with something like, “No, and I’m late for a meeting. Excuse me.” I got down the block a little and realized I could have been killed. I can’t imagine what those guys thought. I think they were as surprised as me and didn’t know what to do.
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You have to be savvy here, more than ever now. I think I said, it’s like Cannery Row along 86th and Lexington, no police, no one to intervene if something happens. One’s senses need to stay sharp. We need a new Mayor. sigh
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Yeah. Sorry you have to live in a real life apocalypse.
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Let’s hope it improves.
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That is about all that you can do. or carry an AK 47
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That will be considered the next norm, packin’ a rod. OY
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“Packin’ a rod.” Susannah Chandler. ๐
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I can’t lie. He influences me from the ether, along with Dash.
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When I was in grade school I read Micky Spillane. Big influence on me. John Cannon’s (The protagonist in my trilogy) name is a mental riff on Mike Hammer but also gentle as a lamb.
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I love that kind of character. Nick Charles, Sam Spade, and Mike Hammer.
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Me too. ๐
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Real, old fashioned men, with an edge, a tumbler of rye and a natty fedora. ๐
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And smokes. Don’t forget the fag hanging off the lip like a smoking flag from a balcony. ๐
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How could I forget. Winstons, Pall Malls. Lucky Strikes.
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Ah, Pall Malls. I used to smoke those
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They came in that red packaging. My dad did too. Then he switched to Winstons.
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I used to love Nat Sherman’s as well. I see they closed recently
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I didn’t know that. Another New York institution no more. They better not be taking down the Chrysler Building John. That would put me over the edge, pun intended.
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I agree. The Chrysler building is my favorite.
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Me too. I think of her as the Grace Kelly of architecture. ๐
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Art Deco at it’s best.
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yeah. ๐
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People tend to forget that homeless people come from someplace else. That’s not how their lives used to be. Having volunteered, you come to understand the pride they carry with them still. A soup kitchen experience is something everyone should do, if only to gain perspective. Most of these folks do not want nor ask for anything.
Good on you for understanding how it works and having a heart as wide as the city you call home.
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You should expand this into an essay…an Oped and send it somewhere. I’m sure your town too has this going on since, it’s another type of epidemic, and your heart beats boldly through it.
I’m actually going to see if I can find my noble friend later on this morning. I have gloves for him. I actually, via Amazon, got them for me since Lucy lost one running…they’re fingerless, and the pair that came could fit Brutus. I think they’ll be a perfect size for Max. He’s rather big and strong. They’re are no accidents Mr. Imma.
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It’s everywhere.
There was a fellow who used to frequent the grocery I shopped at years back. He used to live behind the community college and he would come into the store when he had a few bucks to spend. He’d ramble up and down the aisles and talk history to himself. Quite learned. I always wondered what his life had once looked like.
There are no accidents. Everything happens for a reason. I believe this wholeheartedly.
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Me too. Like you and I reading each other. I swim in the bay of your eloquence. Whoa! Who am I channeling? Eliot, is that you?
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You just done channeled. Leave the Chanel bag at home, she’s kicking waves!
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Women of her alleged ilk, tend to own Chanel purses, its gold chain swinging from their arm like an oblong, black badge of honor.
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From ilk to oblong, you’ve nailed this SB
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Melville files?
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You knew it
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Well, anytime one of us swoons over a word, it’s a dead giveaway.
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Book em Dano! SB just closed another one . . .
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You’re so funny, one of your many alluring traits.
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Haha! And alluring . . you are on a roll today SB.
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Love that word. It’s sassier than attractive and politer than HOT. ๐
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Well said.
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I always feel that tension between giving to those who need it and not giving to the ones who are trying to take advantage of people. I’m sure Max appreciated it a lot and probably let him eat some good food. Thanks for being an inspiration.
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It’s a moral issue always with me. Am I being prudent, or just cheap? Max never fails to bring out the best in me, this I know. He excavates my good to its fullest. I guess that’s what creates such a contrast for me; the humble verses the entitled. The expectant rivaling the surprised. Thanks David. I know how busy you are, yet find time to come a callin;. ๐
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Pingback: When A Heart Truly Opens – Shannonโs 2020
Thank you. Very kind. ๐
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Thank you. That was very kind.
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โGiving from your heart is the only way to give to anotherโ – what an inspiring story this really touched me.
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You’re very kind to say that, and truly appreciate you reading it. Humbled.
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This is a sweet post! Thanks for sharing. Itโs true give when you feel the urge to do so otherwise itโs just an obligation. Not a gift
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An interesting lesson to learn. I feel guilty sometimes since, so many people are on street corners, but one’s heart knows when it’s tapped for someone’s good. When I left Max, there was no question it was right. You just instinctively know. Thanks for visiting. ๐
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Your Heart knows everything, always believe what it says!
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I try. And now that you mention it, it talks a lot. ๐
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Pingback: When A Heart Truly Opens – Have to be better
Thank you.
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Pingback: When A Heart Truly Opens – Marketing Digital
Thank you. ๐
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I love your stories!!! I remember when my kids were maybe 10 and 12, we saw a homeless man on a corner with a sign – asking for food. So I thought I would teach my kids a lesson in giving. We drove to the McDonalds down the street and purchased a full meal, with a drink – and drove it back to the guy. We got out of the the car to hand it to him, and he took the bag, opened it and said I only like Big Macs, not Quarter Pounders, and threw the bag over his shoulder. It was a teaching moment, but not the one I had hoped for.
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You really do take chances when you give to someone who lives outdoors. I remember asking a guy what kind of jam he liked after telling me, the cart guys don’t put it on your bagel anymore. He said, the homemade kind. Made me laugh. Did he think I’d run to make some? I popped into Gristides and bought him a jar of Welches. He shook his head in deep disappointment taking it reluctantly. I took it well. ๐
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Wow – it makes you ponder, how a person who is asking for something from a complete stranger – could be so picky!
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Well, maybe he was just answering my question honestly. Even the homeless has the right to their likes and dislikes I guess. ๐
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Thatโs very true!
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PS I love that you use initials. There’s a cadence there like with PD James, or EB White. J D Salinger. ๐
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Thank-you!
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Thanks for this sweet story! When you got to the man who begged you for money, I actually hesitated a bit, wondering if not giving the money was really the right thing to do simply because his request didnโt move you. Can we pick and choose like that? Just reminded me of how we pick and choose between helping different animals just because some of them are โcuteโ and some of them are not. But I do agree w you at the end of the day, I think we do have the acuity to sense when someone actually needs help or if someone is just taking advantage.
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I’m an extremely generous soul, almost to a fault. I read once, that if you don’t feel good about the giving, then it’s not the best thing for either party. I’ve had coffee tossed at me because the person wanted money instead. I’ve been screamed at, called names and actually chased for not answering a demand. I know when I give to someone like Max, I feel God smile. It almost makes me lose my balance, or regain it. All I know. Thanks for reading.
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