New Year’s Resolutions I Probably Won’t Keep

Letting my hair go gray, like Patti Smith.  Now if I could only sing.

I might grow bangs, to hide my wrinkled brow, but what if I look like Lucy, in Peanuts. 

Not resembling a refugee when I run. Perhaps a new pair of sweats are in order, my present pair patched in the seat, but alas, we’re so close, the two of us.

Having salmon 5 times a week, instead of 7. That could be tough since swimming upstream is my favorite sport.

Dating online.

Excuse me. I can’t stop laughing.

Not reading during the day. Who do I think I am, the queen?

Yes.   

Cleaning more often.

My mop is now chuckling. Shut up. It’s the thought that counts.

To start drinking again, after dark only, so if I make an ass out of myself, it’s less likely to make the papers.

Getting a cat, or even two, so they’ll have company, but only if they’re potty trained. I could place an ad maybe…owner with special needs…or hire a circus trainer.

If that doesn’t work out, how bout a bird? Fish? Okay, a plant. I do tend to overkill anything green, bringing me to my casual spending. 

No more J Crew Factory perusals when I’m bored in the afternoon. Of course, if I won’t be reading, it still might be okay.

A girl and her AMEX need to keep themselves amused, after all.

Who came up with the idea of New Year’s resolutions anyway?

I’m thinking he needs a good smack, salmon, a little cashmere on sale, and a book.

Of course it’s a he. A woman would never…  

🙂

Happy New Year Everyone.

SB

About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in alcohol, animals, Books, Culture, Fashion, grace, Gratitude, humanity, humor, internet, Love, New York City, words, writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

96 Responses to New Year’s Resolutions I Probably Won’t Keep

  1. Sorryless says:

    Take my advice. Two cats is so worth it. And they won’t drop the dime on you if you partake of a frendly beverage after dark.

    Happy New Year SB

    Liked by 1 person

  2. etinkerbell says:

    That was fun. Happy new year !

    Like

  3. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, when you sign up on the dating site, ask for a retired fisherman. That way all the salmon won’t be an issue, ha ha!
    And never give up reading during the day. I have to reread the last page or two of what I read at night because I was too tired to assimilate it.
    Cats aren’t like dogs. They don’t need or often want a companion cat. There are tons of older cats at the shelter who don’t get homes. I vote for a cat. Based on the white Persian my Godchild asked me to take, I recommend a short haired kitty. Although I would never do it to a cat myself, there are even declawed cats up for adoption. My youngest daughter adopted one.
    New Year’s resolutions should be outlawed. Let’s just try to be better humans.
    Have a happy and healthy New Year, Susannah.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, to be better humans indeed. Should be part of that stimulus package that’s still squawking.

      I miss having a cat, though Patrick has been a great pal visiting now and then. And yes, a fisherman would be a great boon except, I then might increase my salmon intake to twice a day and may indeed grow gills. Do ya think they’d look okay with my wrinkles?

      Happy New Year Skinny, to you, Pookie, and your 4-legged family as well as your kids and grandkids. Thanks always for your attendance in my life. Sincerely, Susannah

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Have a lovely and safe 2021. All the best for the coming year 🎆🎆🎆

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I enjoyed your resolutions, Susannah. From experience, cats come pretty much potty trained. They also make the best listeners, and when they detect crazy talk, they tend to walk away. (A sure sign of STFU time.) A very Happy New Year wish to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Your mop isn’t the only one chuckling this morning!
    All the best for a happy, healthy, and peaceful 2021!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. kingmidget says:

    A friend did a 20 for 20 list — 20 things she wanted to do in 2020. She now has me and a couple of our other friends doing 21 for 21. So far, I’ve come up with ten or eleven things. We’ll see how it goes. My list is far less interesting than yours.

    Here’s to you having a wonderful 2021!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I quit resolutions years ago and have been happier for it.

    Happy New Year!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Eilene Lyon says:

    Always a good idea to come up with some non-resolutions. 😊 Happy New Year, Susannah.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Dale says:

    As far as resolutions go, these sounds absolutely doable 😉 Err… wait. no reading during the day? No, that won’t work. Cleaning more often? Why? There are books to be read! Really? That much salmon? Have you grown gills yet?
    Happy 2021 to you, Susannah.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Susannah,
    I so want to hear your online dating stories – so please do sign up for that! If anything it will give you plenty of comedy material. 🙂
    You are so classy and sophisticated that you would look great with gray hair, while the rest of us would just look old and lazy.
    Wishing you a blessed 2021! ♥♥

    Liked by 1 person

    • Only men seem to pull of gray hair, and a Poodle I know named Bess. I wish you a very Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year laced with Optimism and Good Cheer. Always a pleasure hearing from you. 🙂

      Like

  12. I have two cats. They are so different from each other !! They have their own little personalities and can be a handful but they are so loving ! The way 2020 was I think it should be a law that we are allowed a beer a day !

    Liked by 1 person

  13. robprice59 says:

    Gang aft a-gley

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Sorryless says:

    I love your list.

    Me? I won’t make my resolutions till the year gets to kicking. Why promise myself to a new year when I don’t know it quite yet?

    Happy New Year

    Liked by 1 person

  15. The Guat says:

    THIS was so funny 🙂 appreciate the funny in your plans as laughter has been my best co-pilot 🙂 ha in fact I think that was the title of one of my posts ha! But you made me remember it so for that I thank you 🙂 Have a good one.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I’m paranoid about making New Year’s resolutions anymore, as if saying that will make me not do them. I still do, I just don’t articulate them as such.

    Liked by 1 person

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