A perfect way to begin the new year, armed with insanity and rodent repellent.
It appears I have a deranged neighbor two floors above me who claims she has a recurring rat. As you can well imagine, this doesn’t sit too well with me, being in such close proximity. Yeah, there is an apartment between is, but I’ve been to the rat rodeo before, and they can boogaloo down a pipe like nobody’s business.
That said.
After leaving me notes like…what are WE gonna do, and she JUST saw him again, me being me, spun into action.
KNOCK KNOCK
“Is Patrick home?” As in Pat the Cat, my noble neighbor, next door.
His father, who I seem to have awakened at 3 in the afternoon, says without pause, “Just a minute, I’ll see.”
Now you would think he might wonder why I’m asking, but merely, opens the door wider to let the furry fella out.
Next thing I know, I’m plying him with the tuna I was planning on having for lunch before politely asking, did he mind doing a little random reconnaissance work.
Being the rogue he is, when I took him into the kitchen to sniff around, then the bathroom, then back to the kitchen where I even single-handedly moved the fridge so he could have a peek behind it, the Columbo of felines pawed around. After rolling out an embarrassed blueberry, he looked at me as if to say, all good back there.
One of the many things I love about Patrick is how he looks at you as if he were smiling, and frankly, considering my ongoing buffet, why shouldn’t he be.
We then, out of the goodness of my heart who really just wanted to club her with my granddad’s rolling pin, take Pat upstairs.
KNOCK KNOCK
Nutsy opens the door in a rose peignoir, the kind Lana Turner wore, with a martini glass in her hand.
“YES?” she says, as if she forgot her ratty notes that I’m saving for evidence when they come lock her up.
Patrick, jumps from my arms, running into her place as if he knows exactly where Mickey is hiding, however, after he patrols every nook and cranny from this, who the fuck decorated this house in this revolting shade of brown, meows a definite…all clear.
I pick him up, say to her, “Now that should be enough proof that you don’t have a rat,” then leave.
Now of course I sound as certifiable as she is, but be that as it may, as they say in 12 Step, you take the action, letting go of the result.
After a little milk break, I take Patrick back home.
KNOCK KNOCK.
His father, still sleepy says, “Oh, Patty, you’re back, did you have a nice time?”
Did Patrick just wink?
I’m just glad he didn’t say, rats.
The life of a thin girl.
I loved your embarrassed blueberry!
How clever of you to borrow Patrick! I couldn’t believe you took him upstairs. Way to go!
LikeLiked by 1 person
He’s very laid back. I’ll bet you could take him outside and he’d be just fine, the cool cat that he is. I tried to edit the story…seemed much too long, knowing shorter ones do better. However did Dickens get away with it. He did get paid by the word, so at least I understand his practical verbosity, just not my own. sigh…HI ANNE!!! HAPPY SUNDAY!!!
LikeLike
I would read your posts, no matter how long they are. Wouldn’t say that about everyone, though. I’ve been trying to follow your example and keep things short.
Happy Sunday to you, too! We’ve just been to church on line, because our church was closed for two weeks. We’ll be able to go next week.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I just came back from a mass that I could hardly hear. I sat and absorbed, instead. It’s snowing here, modest flakes, like it’s still in bed where I hope it stays.
Keeping a post short is a challenge. I edit and edit and it’s still too long. I appreciate that you’ll still read it. You”re so kind….even if you are a cheyANNE. 🙂
LikeLike
I’d love to watch your snow. We’re getting cold temps without precipitation. Daughter Kate lives in NJ. I should look on the weather map and see if she is getting snow.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It already stopped. My mother used to say, it was just God, shakin’ out his rugs. 🙂
LikeLike
I’m glad she didn’t liken snow to God’s dandruff.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That would have been much too clever.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Was thinking about that blueberry. First I had escaped…then errant. I think embarrassed came from me feeling embarrassed not coming up with the right word. 🙂
LikeLike
Embarrassed? Then shouldn’t it be a REDberry rather than a blueberry?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Then that’s the last STRAWberry, Madam.
LikeLike
What about the BOYSEN(girls)berry? Don’t want to leave anyone out.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Don’t forget BLACKberries matter too.
LikeLike
I SAY there, how about the ACAI berry?
LikeLiked by 1 person
As long as there’s no BERRY-ium enema involved.
LikeLike
LOL! You might have CRANberries in the nooks and crannies.
LikeLiked by 1 person
As long as no one GOOSEberries me.
LikeLike
Lets hope the RASPberries its scraping side.
LikeLike
I surrender. I’m BERRY sorry I’ve gone flat.
LikeLike
You haven’t lost. This one was ONEderful.
LikeLike
A TWOfer one?
LikeLike
Double trouble! You win.
LikeLike
I never win. John must have needed you. 🙂
LikeLike
You are always a winner!
LikeLike
More a whiner, but that’s close enough. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I keep hearing the Mighty Mouse theme, slightly altered. ‘Here he comes to save the day! Mighty Patrick’s on the way.’ Not all house cats are mousers. I’ve had a couple that have been pathetic. Luckily, Patrick knows how to clear the rat minefield. Did his stealthy patrol put your neighbor’s mind at ease?
Susannah, you were very generous to share Patrick’s prowess.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Do you remember the late comic, Andy Kaufman who used to have that in his act? I would laugh. Google it. You will too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Absolutely. In fact, his memory passed through my mind as I typed the tune.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That was one of the cutest bits ever. 🙂
LikeLike
However, you did it “embarrassed” blueberry was right on target. I have had embarrassed grapes discovered suddenly, and they seem to want to run away to become a raisin. (Chased by a pup, of course). I had to laugh at the vision of your neighbor. No surprise her being not dressed with a mart. Patrick is lucky to have you. What adventures he enjoys. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
He’s the coolest. cat. You could see him sportin’ a Fedora.
LikeLiked by 1 person
He sounds like a great chap.
LikeLiked by 1 person
He is. Twiggy and Lucy would even like him. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
We had a cat named Frankie (Blue eyes) before Twiggy’s time and Lucy and he were fast friends so I’m sure you are right. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
You named him after Frank? I love that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
He had the most beautiful blue eyes. His sister was named Stella after Streetcar Named Desire, Stella,
LikeLiked by 1 person
STELLA!!!!!!!!! Shit John, hope I didn’t just wake the neighbors. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
We would say that all the time. Gave me an unending opportunity to do a Brando impersonation. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was even wearing a white T-shirt, just without a pack’a smokes shoved in the upper sleeve.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can see it now. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mine is clean and pressed of course. 🙂
LikeLike
Of course. Wait is that a rigatoni stain?…naw just a lady bug.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Stanley would have liked your spaghetti piece. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think so too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lets face it, spaghetti could change the world. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Maybe we could get a nice bolognese to run for congress.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great name recognition.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You coulda been a contenda.
LikeLike
He was wonderful in that. He’s only remembered as Vito, but he was great way before that.
LikeLike
I always like his roles. The ugly American was terrific.
LikeLiked by 1 person
He had such presence.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Even in Apocolypse Now he was a presence.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And a royal pain I may add. Eleanor Coppola wrote a little account from the filming and he drove Francis nuts and got paid an enormous amount of money. The book’s called…The Making of Apocolypse Now. It’s a great read. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
He was well known for being a pain. Remember sending Sacheen Littlefeather to decline his Godfather Oscar . (Oh wait you were just a child then. Well he did that to protest Native American issues.)
LikeLiked by 1 person
I do remember that. He was a very lucky man, Brando was, and just because you’re gifted at what you do, doesn’t mean you’re entitled to a thing. My 2 cents.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have no doubt the rat will be back very soon. 😉
LikeLike
It depends how much she drinks.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Buahahahaha!!
LikeLike
Would you be wearing a negligee in the middle of the afternoon swigging like a sailor? I’ll tell ya. Even Patrick was shocked. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ummm. No. Let’s just say, I don’t answer the door in a negligé (if I had one, which hmmm… I might have in the back of my closet)
I bet he was. He is, after all, a gentleman.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I look more like Charlie Chaplin in my big J. Crew Mens Sleep pants. No wonder I can’t get a date. LOL
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hah! It’s not like it’s an apparel worn in places where a man could see you… Isn’t it great (not) being single during a pandammit?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I always take comfort over turn on wear.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You and me both, Sistah
LikeLike
Love the term…Sistah. I see us in heels in a conga line.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Please tell me we are wearing a stylish chapeau as well 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah yes…half beret, half cloche over one eye…of course that’s because it keeps sliding down, due to mask traffic.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oooh la la – let us pretend the mask-wearing days are over by the time we conga…
LikeLiked by 1 person
A wonderful thought.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That day will come. Eventually.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I believe that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It has to!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I dunno, Susannah… If Patrick is anything like my mother’s late cat was… Princess (no, my mother did not choose the name) was a crazy hunter, living up north in the woods. She’d bring back birds, mice, squirrels, rabbits (!) – all proud as she can be. But would she catch the mice in the house? Nope. I think she figured they were part of the family…
This was a (as usual) wonderful and fun post to read and you need not worry… yours could be longer and would still get read because they are always so entertaining.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a nice thing from one writer to say to another.
I had a cat when I was a kid named Mugsy that would bring you little dead gifts. It was my first experience with having to pretend it was exactly what you wanted. Cats are so proud of their prey. sigh
LikeLiked by 1 person
‘Tis true. I would not say a word if I did not believe it.
Are they ever. My eldest had a cat that captured birds mid-air. Quite the feat and if we were close enough to save the bird, we did. Not always easy… They so love to show off their prowess!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mid-air? That cracked me up.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes! Poor bird thought it could just take off when it spotted the cat. Nope.
LikeLike
Must be tough sometimes, being a bird.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Especially around these fierce hunters
LikeLiked by 1 person
We are who we are, even with 2 extra legs and a tail.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Especially!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
And, would you please get David to help you add your Twitter share button? 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t even know what that is. Sorry. Not a very ardent Tweeter.
LikeLiked by 1 person
No, I know you are not… but still… retweets can bring you more followers 😉 And I know David helps you out at times… 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
John I think manages this. I will ask David, who has a birthday today. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ahh… Dang. Had I known, I’d have mentioned it when I commented on his last FF.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hadn’t read his most recent. I find FFs an art.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is. Getting a whole story in 100 words is not always easy. I love the challenge, though.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So does David, he says.
LikeLike
SB
Patrick sounds like my kind of cat. Go with the flow, turn on the charm and chill kind of dude who doesn’t give a fig for rules when the company is right. I relate to that, very much so. And to cats in general.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Doesn’t give a fig…one of my favorite expressions, and do you know who I heard it from first? Bill O’Reilly in one of his Killing books. I think he may be working on a new one called…Killing Bill O’Reilly. OOPS …Snarky of me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know, right? Me too . . I love that expression.
Ugh . . sorry it had to come from that self righteous mutt. Hey did he find a new life on that Fatherland Network over at Newsmax? I thought maybe he had but was too disinterested to give it a look.
Snarky . . another favorite. But no worries, we have a brand new file for 2021.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I read all those books that were written by the other guy since, when did Billy O have the time, and Dugard is a pretty good writer. They’re interesting, the theories, but I’ll never believe Edwin Stanton was involved in the Booth conspiracy. My Italian, that’s pretty instinctive says, fagettaboutit.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s your inner Corleone . . .
LikeLiked by 1 person
Vito visits, this I can’t deny. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I relate.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Now I want to watch 1 and 2 again. They really hold up after all this time. 1972 was a lifetime ago it seems.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think so too. If there was one movie I could watch over and over, it’s that. 1 and 2 being seamless, in my opinion.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Some films never date, and 1 and 2 for sure. Chinatown, The Sting, Gone With the Wind, Rebecca, An Affair to Remember, Love in the Afternoon, Sabrina (the original), Roman Holiday, The American President, The Fugitive, On The Waterfront…sigh
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve yet to watch Rebecca or An Affair to Remember. But yes . . these flicks are classics for a reason. They keep. And it’s interesting you should name The American President as one. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
They’re both great. I should also add, Sleepless in Seattle to my list since, Nora Ephron does a spoof on An Affair to Remember that’s a real tearjerker. Cary Grant is at his most debonair and Debra Kerr as Terry McKay, amazing. Imma needs to watch. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
On it! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I forgot, Casablanca. Smackin’ my forehead.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Imma watch Casablanca again. I watched One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest last weekend. For the first time. Can you imagine that?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Do you know…they never had a script…most of Casablanca was written as they went along. Love that. Nicholson was great in CN. So was Brad Dourif, as Billy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love that. Now Imma watch it this week. Yes, Billy. And there were so many character actors in that flick, I was amazed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
How bout the Indian?
LikeLiked by 1 person
My favorite character.
LikeLiked by 1 person
PS I read that, The Fords Theater gift shop refuses to stock Killing Lincoln. Good for them I say. 🙂 Of course, you can see his blood-stained jacket among other ghoulish artifacts, like one of the black hoods worn by one of the condemned. See, I’m not alone in my ghoulishness.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What’s ghoulish, or would have been ghoulish. To stock the gift shop with that book.
LikeLiked by 1 person
If they were more into sales, they would have since, it would have sold like hotcakes, the ghoul in us all, present company excluded if he’d rather not be a member of the ghoul club.
LikeLiked by 2 people
It’s good to have a feline around you can muster when the occasion arises. Hopefully you won’t have any rats around. I would hate the thought of that. I love your description of Patrick though. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love him. The sweet thing is, he will sit by Mimi’s old door as if any moment she’ll open it. Always brings tears to my eyes. As far as rats go, I have such a fear of them, you have no idea, which can explain my what could be perceived as, insane actions. Sigh
LikeLike
Pingback: The Cat’s Meow. – Flipjesland.com
Kind 0f you. Having not such a great day as an American. Cheered me . Thank you.
LikeLike
Pingback: The Cat’s Meow. – langit
Thank you. 🙂
LikeLike
So true! Lol…
LikeLiked by 1 person