Best Story of the Week…February 18th

5:45 a.m.

I’m heading to the Park ambling up East 90th Street, approaching a young woman walking three dogs: a Black Lab, a White Lab and a Chihuahua.

As I’m about to pass, the Chihuahua starts barking at me doing wheelies so I can’t get by.

“Hey Napoleon,” I say to him, and yes it was a he, since his little schlong was hanging out as excited as the rest of him.

“What’s your problem?”

The other two dogs are shaking their heads. “He’s a pain in the ass, we know.”

“Is it my hair?” I ask him. Turns out his name is Francisco, named after some bullfighter. Only on the Upper East Side could this be true.

“It’s 6 o’clock in the morning, Frank, so what do ya want, a beehive?” The little shit’s still barking and now going for my ankle.

I look at the girl and ask, “Does he always do this?” and she replies, “Never,” so now I’m taking it personally.

“Hey, you little roast compoyo (remembered that from a Lucy Show), get outta my way, NOW!!!”

And so, he did, well after his owner finally picked him up.

But I was all set to say…PUT UP YOUR PAWS PAL!

But didn’t have to.

I’ll tell ya.Β Β Β 

The life of athingirl. πŸ™‚


About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
This entry was posted in animals, creative writing, Culture, humanity, humor, nature, New York City, words, writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to Best Story of the Week…February 18th

  1. Haha … first of all, the owner is lying. The Labs know the deal. The little twerp barks at everyone; I know this because I have a twerp that does the same thing … lol!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. He should have picked on someone his own size.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dale says:

    I started to laugh from the Napoleon on because guess what? That’s what I call all the little whiff-whaffs who try to act so tough! Annoying little ankle-biters…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. skinnyuz2b says:

    I agree that the little rat goes after everyone, not just you. As for the schlong, my oldest daughter had a Mexican hairless when she was a teen. With no hair to cover his manhood, it looked like he was riding a rocket!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I just love being barked at by an ankle biter. I think the owner was putting you on. I have never met a Chihuahua that didn’t bark its butt off. Thanks for the smiles.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Patricia says:

    If he is living with two Labs he needs to be loud and maybe obnoxious just to let everyone know it isn’t necessarily size that counts.😼

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Sorryless says:

    Our first family dog was a Chihuahua and she hated me and my sister. Her favorite person in the house was my old man, which should have told me everything I needed to know.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I think your reputation as a dog lover has spread through the New York canine community and Francisco was just so excited to actually meet you. That seems the most likely explanation to me. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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