Kindness Never Wasted

I had left cookies in front of a neighbor’s door who I heard, had just come home from the hospital. She’s in her early 80s, sharp as a tack, walks every day, but alas, was knocked down by a large over friendly dog, breaking her hip.ย 

I did this around noon, on my way out.

When I came back an hour or so later, they were in front of my door with a note that just said in black magic marker…

NO THANK YOU!

Puzzled, I asked the longtime doorman who shrugged saying, she’s old and nutty. Don’t take it personally…

and to add an AA maxim, even if it has your name on it.

Easier said than done.

Since they were so beautifully packaged from a lovely gourmet store, I then left them in front Patrick the cat’s door whose dad left me a note that said in pretty blue ink…

Oh, thank you. ๐Ÿ™‚

Yes, we had both sides of the coin in one afternoon.

I felt sad, my first gesture so blatantly rejected, but then thought how sad it must be for her that she can’t graciously accept a gift. It’s not the first time I’ve had this happen. People can be uncomfortable receiving either out of suspicion or lack of self-worth, as if they don’t deserve an offering of any kind, often behaving oddly, the way that she did.

Sometimes it’s just they’re afraid now they’ll have to reciprocate, always the farthest thing from my mind.ย 

I give and don’t look back, receiving for me, in the giving.

Where am I going with this?ย  Who knows.

To the moon Alice.

I just think kindness is like a muscle, the more you do it, the stronger you get in its practice, and that, it could easily change the world, that sure is down quite a few quarts…

wouldn’t ya say?ย ย 

sigh ย 

SB

 

 

 

About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in Culture, Faith, grace, Gratitude, humanity, Love, New York City, words, writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

40 Responses to Kindness Never Wasted

  1. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, I’ve known two people like that, a work friend and one of my aunts. The work friend would never open a gift in front of others, birthday or Christmas exchange. My aunt would not take gifts of food because it meant people thought she couldn’t afford her own food! She was our rich aunt and we all knew she could buy her own food. My aunt would throw the food in the trash as soon as the person left.
    People are strange, each in their own special way, ha ha!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I so know that, and try to understand. As for me, I accept all gifts in grace and relish on top. I’m always moved whenever anyone thinks of me. It took me many years though, to get in this noble spot, and I must say, it’s cozy and warm. Thanks Skinny, and your dear Aunt who through her actions taught a mighty lesson to all those around her. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

  2. What a disappointment! I’m glad you could give the cookies to someone who would appreciate them.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sorryless says:

    I love that you said that. The giving IS the gift for you, which I happen to believe as well. It’s unfortunate that some people place more value in the idea that they don’t want to ‘owe’ someone than in what was in that person’s heart in the first place. But alas, I know not what their shoes have tread to get here. But rest assured, the universe smiles on you. Not that you’re asking it to, ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  4. kingmidget says:

    The only gift worth giving is the one given without expectation of a return.

    By the way, the one explanation I had is that she can’t eat cookies for dietary reasons. Maybe she has diabetes, maybe something else. Just a thought that may take some of the sting of rejection away.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I love the idea of kindness being like a muscle, Susannah. It seems to me that too many folks reject kindness out of fear that there is something expected in return. The old biddy has earned her misery. Let her stew in it. Thanks for the lesson today. ๐Ÿ˜

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Always good to have a good workout of the kindness muscle. Keep fit!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Dale says:

    I like to think most of us give for the simple pleasure of giving. Alas, not all are pure-hearted and are expecting something in return. Accepting a gift graciously is not easy for many people. Hard for them not to feel they must reciprocate, no matter how many times we tell them no, we want nothing but to be kind.
    Who knows what caused her to return them (and how did she what with a broken hip and all? Hmmm?)… At least you were able to still gift them to one who was gracious…
    Don’t quit working that muscle!

    Liked by 1 person

    • She was in rehab and can now walk a bit, plus she’s just an elevator ride away. I know she’s angry at having to be laid up. She’s so perky this woman, and I can only think, if it were me who’s so active and had to lay low, perhaps on second thought, my manners might be a little askew as well. It was also a nice reminder that, I can receive graciously. In my youth, that wasn’t always the case. Thanks for reading. I never take it for granted when one takes the time.

      Like

  8. robprice59 says:

    Trying to second-guess someone’s motivation is a dangerous game. There are a million and one possible reasons for your snub. Is she diabetic, on a diet, wheat intolerant, &c, &c? Not that any of these would excuse the manner of her response, of course. Why don’t you ask her?

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I know for myself receiving gifts has always been difficult. It goes way back to an association I have with gifts. I was with someone who was always sending flowers, not knowing it was in response to him being a fuck and trying to make himself feel better. That runs deep with me. Following that, I had 2 people, VERY close, shower me with gifts, only to find out they were also guilt-related. It’s sad for me not to trust the kindness or genuine intentions of people, but I’m learning. Thanks for helping me heal โค

    Liked by 1 person

  10. RosieJoseph says:

    When we lived in France someone used to say to me โ€˜people mistake your kindness for a weakness.โ€™ Little did I realise at the time that he too was one of those people. I learned a hard lesson in France, that people do try and take advantage of your kindness, or do indeed see it as a thing that permits them to behave badly. I also learned that people do sometimes give gifts to draw you in, and being an empath, I always always gave them the โ€˜benefit of the doubtโ€™ because they gave you a gift, thereby they couldnโ€™t be horrible could they?

    But as you say what do we do, do we stop being kind, stop giving gifts just because of these people? And there was my biggest lesson of all: to not be drawn into the darkness, to not be like them, but….to be aware. There could be a million reasons for her refusal, but the tone and the way it was carried out have no reason. Itโ€™s sad that over her life she possibly got sucked into โ€˜the darknessโ€™ because it was easier than allow herself to be hurt again. Perhaps. โค๏ธ

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Who knows what goes on inside people’s head sometimes. It’s hard not to take something like that first one personally but we’re only responsible for our part of it. Your kindness is not diminished by the reception.

    Liked by 1 person

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