I always marvel when people say I’m well dressed.
It’s more, I’m simply put together that never lets on it’s fashion on the cheap.
Lesson number one…don’t ever follow a fad since, you’ll look dated before you pay off your Visa bill.
If you stick with the classics you’re better off since, who doesn’t appreciate a blazer over a cool pair’a jeans.
Even a guy should choose that for his uniform since, there’s nothing like a fella in sleek Levis and a button-down loosely tucked, sleeves peeking beneath that natty jacket.
It’s that classic Ralph Lauren look women love, with eternal sex appeal.
Who says pretending you play polo is phony?
Alright, I’ll give you that.
What inspired this piece was a wealthy woman I know and frankly, can’t stand since her snarky remarks make you wonder if she suffers from Tourette’s Syndrome.
I’ve never been a fan of…mean for sport. I’m from Connecticut after all, where if you can’t say something nice, shut the fuck up, is printed alongside the state bird, an American Robin that might even own a blazer.
But like a sniper shooting, Snark and her mink coat sidled up to say, how surprised she always is how nice I look, and no I didn’t smack her. I was already recycling her bile into this essay.
“What caught your eye?” I ask, “I can’t wait to hear?”
Being a vintage narcissus, she missed my squirt of sarcasm.
“It’s that old Barbour of yours with all those layers underneath. How you leave it open to show off that navy blazer. How old is that now?”
“How old are you?” Her sneer shortened.
“I only ask that since, you’re right,” I say, back-peddling afraid I’d miss one of her classic cracks, “I bought it at Brooks Brothers years ago.”
“You should just save your money and buy a fur,” she said, caressing her coat like a pet.
We parted ways.
Actually, what I didn’t tell Snarky was that it was a J. Crew, what they call a school boy blazer that costs a fraction of the price of the Brooks I do still have but favor the former. It’s of lighter weight with plain buttons and cushy pockets that keep their shape.
The tip’s the same, invest in a nice jacket, but well, my sartorial selections aren’t as serious as they once were…labels, an unnecessary expense since nowadays J. Crew rivals Polo aside from price.
As far as that mink coat goes, I so wanted to tell her, if I were you Snarky, I’d stay away from Maine during hunting season, but alas, that robin, fluttered.